Reflections

NOT getting MARRIED?

2011-10-27T12:17:00.000+08:00

With about 10 weddings to attend(attending) this year, more and more of my peers are starting their a new phase of their lives as wedded couples. I rejoice in knowing new unions between a man and a woman that are formed within the institution of marriage. The romance, passion and the testimonies these individuals share in the celebration of the wedding with their friends and family is truly a beautiful sight.

Pav and Fion

On the other end of the spectrum, we see that there are still quite a significant number of young adults who stay unmarried, yet they are living under the same roof as a couple. The Japanese and our close neighbours - the Singaporeans are seeing a population decline because the citizens are not willing to have babies. Partly because it is expensive to raise a young one in a high standard economy, but partly it is also because the couples are unwilling to marry. Why is there such a reluctance?

Premarital cohabitation - "More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had unmarried parents (that's up 25% from 2002).

- Time Magazine: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1898346,00.html#ixzz1bwz2W3Qz"

There has always been a strong debate in the idea of cohabitation opposed by the religious traditionals and defended by the modern contemporary, but the general acceptance on this idea is growing larger very quickly. This idea spreads like a parasite in the morality of human beings. Given what ever reasons - financial, relationships, practicality - a man and a woman cohabiting is never a good option. It stirs in the minds of the individual that living together doesn't require marriage. It goes beyond just sex before marriage, rather we could start acting like "husband and wife" without signing with the registrar of marriage. This "acting" gives the couple the option to get "in" or "out" of a relationship whenever fancy. This decays one principle - that only married individuals should stay together under one roof.

Lost meaning - There are a great number of people has no real idea of what a marriage is. This includes married individuals who have been married over 10 years. People think that marriage is just about living together and have children - and being tied to an extended family (Parents / Grandparents) that comes with your partner. Some just want to get married because they need to buy a house together and that merging their bank accounts together would help them with their maximum home-loan amount. No wonder unmarried individuals prefer to stay unmarried - simply because they see these "excess baggage" that comes with marriage unnecessary. What does marriage really mean then? Let me answer this in my next article.

Unwilling change - "My dad told me on the day of my wedding, 'Never go in a place that you wouldn't take your wife.' " - David Gibbs

With marriage comes a change in lifestyle. You are a wild running stallion when you single, but when you tie the knot, you're but a couple of chariot horses. Statistically over 76% of unmarried men above the age of 30 will give you the answer of being unable to change their lifestyle at the moment to accommodate a wife in their lives. "I have not done half the things I want to do in my life, how would I get them done if I got married now?" - Brother, show me a bucket list and I'll show you how you can chase the wind. Men (and even some women) sees marriage as a big boulder tied to their ankle. They have forgotten that it is not a dead boulder that they are tied to, it is a living human being that they love that they are bounded to. And if somehow both these humans can work through the changes in their lifestyle - put one feet in front of the other at the same time - they can fulfill even greater tasks together! Two chariot horses can do much more meaningful work than a wild running stallion.

Cost of wedding - If you are an average Indian family, the bride's father had better have the Dowry to pay for his daughter's marriage. If you are an average Chinese family, the groom had better have at least RM 30,000 in his pocket. GLAM & PRIDE - 'nuff said

Lack of social pressure - This came up as one of the few factors of why couples refuse to get married. It reads that these couples don't feel "pushed" to get married either by family or friends. A reminder to all those young uncles and aunties - the next time you see your eligible-yet-unmarried-nephew at any family function, ask them the "When?" question.

test service

2010-08-23T01:36:00.001+08:00

don't know how this works

Absent Star

2010-07-05T01:45:00.000+08:00

Absencent StarWhere has the big Star gone?The audience awaits his presence warmA day dedicated to celebrate himHe yet shys away, no where is he seenBy eleventh hour, he snuggles inAt twelve, under a grey blanket thinThe day grows colder, a scarf on her shoulder,And until the black curtain close,He never peeked a nose,Though tonight we sleep cold,We still see his secondary glow,For that itself we are sure to know,Perhaps we will see him tomorrow.

Changing Lanes

2009-06-13T20:44:00.002+08:00

I've always been a safe driver on the road, never really had a major accident (Thank God!) and all of my past little bumps I had were because of other people's slackness. When it comes to being on the road, I'm usually in no hurry. I just want to get there safe... Even when I've been driving on the lane that moves the slowest, I'm okay with that... perhaps I'm a little afraid of switching to the Fast Lane...

Much like what I've been going through these days... I've been sort of signaling that I want to change lane, on to a Faster lane perhaps where there might be less congestion or less obstacles ahead so that I could get on with my life in a smoother pace. But at times, I was reluctant to steer my life out of this current lane I'm in... Its just that I'm not sure what's gonna come up before me... What has God placed before my life that He wants me to take if I ventured into this lane?

Up to now, I hope you'd read that I'm not talking about Fast and the Furious kinda thing... I'm making a decision to change the course of my life. I want to move on to another career...

Even before entering the University, I've always thought I wanted to be an Academician. Something about the intellectual mind set that attracts me very much... a Quest for Knowledge and Creativity! I want to be at the brink of Technology, the frontiers of Science, and the peripheries of Innovation, Creativity and even Arts!

I've been in this Job for about 1 1/2 years now and I've had a very rewarding experience. I believe I've been very well exposed to the industry and being able to understand how a structured economy works. I've learned very much about management and financing and most of all, dealing with people. But as I take a step back to consider how far this has brought me to what I want to achieve, I'm not so certain anymore that I'm actually in the fast lane... Staying here too long and I might just get caught in a Jam...

So I've decided, I want to move on to the Faster Lane where I would need to gain more qualifications and experience which would propel me into the direction I'm heading much quicker... I want to do my Masters!

Learning to aim Long Term...

The Heat is On!

2008-03-06T20:36:00.004+08:00

Some thoughts on the Election Fever

The election is just around the corner! This Saturday, Malaysia decides!
This time around, the tides seem to have really taken a major shift, and what's more, as an eligible voter now, for the first time I'm part of that Action!

So much has been going around;
-Banners pollute the streets
-Flags fluttering in the winds of change
-People crying out for JUSTICE!
-Ceaseless hailing of manifestos
-Opportunists shaking hands with strangers
-Press prints pressing the "op-Pressed"
-Alternative news network goes free (for a week)
-Demeaning caricatures of a "Cheap Red"
-Erasing indelible inks
.... the list goes on....

(Banners, Banners everywhere! I'm sure the printing companies are making millions)

(B.E.R.S.I.H = Free and Fair Elections... at least that was what we hoped for...)

But what does all this mean to me?

Malaysia, a land that I have learned to love as I was growing up. Though I have seen its bites and blisters, even some places I wished I had not seen, yet this is the land of my origin and I believe that it will someday rise to become a great nation in my generation!

Christians, Christians, do you want to see change in your nation?
Are we concerned about what our country is going through?
Or are we only interested in the politics that only affects Christianity?

(Christ and the Ballot Box?)

I urge you my friends to get involved this time around. Read and discover what is going on! Know who you are voting for! Personally, my greatest concern is that the lower and middle class income people would get a fair leverage in terms of the socio-economical state from where they are in. Let Malaysian Taxes be for the Malaysian People! (Not getting lost in corruption at the high places!)

The votes we Christians cast isn't just done because of our responsibility as a good citizen, but a vote of wisdom that we allow God's hand to move and shape the up coming governance!
Commit the elections into our prayers!
May there be a move for the better as the reshuffling of the deck begins!

Complete Make Over

2008-02-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

Incredible! I was offered by my own niece to have a complete make over! She asked me for S$ 1000... I curiously asked why... She said, "I need S$1000 to have a complete make over of your image!" Dazed in my mind my thougts reacted, "Why would I need a make over? Do I look that bad?" Then I came to my senses! Yes... I'm 24 this year... I still look like a teenager!

Stangely, I do find that most of the people I am around with now have changed quite a bit. In the way they wear, the way they speak, the things they like and what they want. Of course I don't see myself "conforming to the ways of the world" but I think what my little niece (who is obsessed with Taiwanese artists by the way...) does carry a point. I need to change! (At least a little bit). I'll be working soon, this Monday I'll be joining the marketplace for the first time! I'm going to have to be more matured and dress properly for work! Even when I go out, I'd probably have to change my clothes! And yes, the next point she brought to me was that its gonna cost me!

As I visit Singapore these few days, I've come to see why my niece said that to me. Here, even the teenagers act like adults. (Of course with the few punky looking kids around). What really struct me is that these people really have a diciplined healthy lifestyle! I went to the gym with James this morning and I realised its not just my wardrobe that needs change.. I need to also pump up my fitness level. I've been on the steady decline these days and today I found that my dad could even lift himself up easier that I can! Had my medical check up earlier this week, I'm scoring just a little higher on the over weight line! I used to give excuse that I have big muscular built around my chest, but I know now I'm just denying the fact that I've got lots of fats in many other regions as well!

From today onwards, I'm committed to keep myself healthy and active as God had commissioned me to take care of this Temple He has entrusted to me!

1) I have stretching exercise daily in spite of my job hours
2) I will have a fixed routine to maintain a wholesome health momentumn
3) Once a week I will climb mountain (Saga or Ketumbar)
4) Lay off the Carbs, Fats and Oils
5) Eat lightly and no stuffing myself until I feel too full
6) No sweets more than once a day
7) Fruits and vegetables the way to snack
8) No supper time
9) Sleep Early
10)Be accountable to my progress logs

Target weight : 60kg in 3 months

Employed

2008-01-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

I'm actually blogging this because, since I've posted my nickname as "I got the Job! Praise God~!" on my MSN account, I've been bombarded with the same questions and I've repeated it over 7 times liow... so to save some typing time.. I'd best setup a blog entry:)

First of all, I want to Thank God for the Job offer! It was something that I quite eyed for even when I was doing my job search. Even when I stumbled on this company and the position that they were hiring, it was one of the 3 that I really put effort to customize my CV to fit the application for the position offered. Something clicked with me! The little experience that I have with water treatment from my Industrial Training days were of good use! I'm sure by divine purpose, this was granted to me... for how long? I don't know... but I really Thank Him who takes care of the bread and butter I need!

I've just got the confirmation letter on my Job offer today! After carefully looking through the contract and the letter of appointment, I have decided that I will take the position as a Water Treatment Engineer in Hydro K Sdn. Bhd. Its a subsidiary under Taiko Marketing Malaysia.

Ok, here is the gist of the questions...

What company is this?

HydroK is actually a chemical supplying company that builds water treatment systems for plants and mills and they also sell chemicals to service the facility they erected for their customers. There are a few specifications the water quality must be at before it can be used in milling and production processes in factories, so the company provide services to treat such water.

HydroK is under Taiko Marketing. Its an International Company that's stretched its base in several ASEAN countries.

What is the nature of your job?

The position is given as a Water Treatment Engineer. Basically it deals with some sales and services. When the water treatment facilities are provided, there must be someone who knows to manage it. I will be the one who does the training and from time to time do tests to maintain the systems in the mills.

Thus this job may require me to travel and meet clients and even go to the mills and eventually be an on-site "consultant" to our clients. It means that I may have to relive the "Gua Musang" experience again from time to time.

But as for now, as I am new, I will be based at head office and will tag along with my managers and supervisors to meet clients and get myself familiar with the 130 range wide of chemicals that the company is selling. Maybe only specialized on the ones that does water treatment.

Where will you work?

Yes, I am based in Shah Alam! I will be based there initially to familiarize myself with the work I'll be undertaking. Soon I will have to travel even further to client's offices and plants.

Oh ya~! I do seem to like the environment there:) Conducive for work!

So far? How are you traveling?

I am currently traveling on my trustee Comel motorcycle:) Eventually I may need to get a car because of the nature of my work. But until I can afford one, I will ride my Black Stallion till it has served its purpose well...

How much are they paying you?

Its a secret... no la.. wanna know.. ask me personally la.. hehe... but the bad thing is salary only reviewed once a year

What are the additional Benefits?

Standard lo... Medical coverage, Employee insurance (extended to immediate family), 18 per annum paid leaves, sick leave paid up to 28 days, 60 hospitalization days, etc...

When will you start?

Starting after CNY... 11th Feb 2008!

Any other questions... post on the comments:)

Cheers!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

2008-01-11T13:37:00.000+08:00

"Absolute Ludicrous!" -everquint-

I took 6 days to finish this little book (which could have taken only a day) and found it to be entertainingly absurd! I thought it was a good read as a whole, very enlightening and funny too! It tried so hard to cramp all sorts of scientific jargons that goes beyond all physical laws that at the end of the day brings to no logical background. It is much to the imagination of the reader to try his best to depict what Douglas was trying to say. Much of it makes no sense anyway...

One prime characteristic about this book is the advocacy of its own senselessness! The Earth was destroyed by a "ridiculous catastrophe" that at the end of the day was just a mistake the Vogons made and that the planet's destruction didn't matter at all. There was much about the Ultimate Question to Life and Existence of the Universe that in the end led to no where. Everything was meaningless and improbable. It also talks about the theory of infiniteness and probabilities (and that wildly imaginative Improbability Drive). Weird theories about God and Creation as most of all that happens in the Universe are by chance and probability. One thing that I couldn't stand reading was the argument of the Creation of the Babelfish that took the theory of the Non-existence of God.

Amidst all the cramped jargons were many carelessly-defined-terminologies that read like a child's play of Technological Fantasy. In its rich forms of description, as a reader, I found it really hard to imagine what was in the author's mind. Mysterious creatures that had no physical entity, possessing only a blue shade of light that had its own consciousness. Units of speed that is relative and circumstantial that in the end has no real physical measurements. A million years sound like something that happened yesterday... Nothing in the book really makes any sense.

In conclusion, this book carries a totally sarcastic approach to God, Meaning, Life and all the Physical laws known to mankind. Still, I'm looking forward to read its sequel "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Dead Poet

2007-10-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry Bloggy,
For leaving you empty,
I can't say that I'm busy,
Its just that I've been lazy,

I'll write something soon?
Maybe something about the moon?
Come give me some inspiration,
Relief my mental exhaustion!

Camp Cameron Re-viewed 1

2007-06-22T01:51:00.000+08:00

A screenshot of senses

An afternoon following a midday shower
Rushing sounds of a restless river
Like a fleet of calvary galloping in bronze armour
a bridge overhead succumbed to a moderate tremor

The peaks of mountains far out in a distance
If one is quiet enough to listen
The song of trees in the wind they shuffle
As every blade of leaves begin to ruffle

The grey clouds Slowly blown away
Clear skies make way for the gleaming ray
In the wet grass the livestock come out to play
The farmer's fowls go clucking away

Slowly the sun hides into the trees
My face refreshed in the evening breeze
The mountains enveloped by mist eventide
Their peaks and their foots the fog divide

The orchestra of the jungle sings as moonlight glistens
Surely filled with creepy inhabitants
Reminds me of our visitors every night
Sometimes gave the girls an awful fright

Silent Street

2007-03-29T15:06:00.000+08:00

Slowly he walks treading a narrow path of muddy road, he leaves with him light imprints onto the ground that perhaps others may follow. He has few companions, but with them he's very comfortable. The road seemed trying in the beginning, but years down that marshy path has taught him to endure. Many a time, he fell hard and skin his knees. Many a time, the rocky grounds were unstable and he felt insecure. Yet, every time he went through these things, he had a Friend to pick him up and lead him on again.

Many who came alongside him asked him why is he walking there. There's certainly a better way, and what they showed to him was no lie. For parallel to this road, there's a neatly tarred highway. It was a fast and easy track. Many people chose to walk there. Road bumps were fewer, the course was much steadier, many things tangible felt substantial. It was the easy way.

But he knowing where he's heading down this narrow road declines their offer, faithful to the path that he's on. Trusting that this path takes him to a far more promising destination compared to that of the highway. He knows, his path is The Way. He knows what he believes is The Truth, and he certainly knows that where he's going is The Life. He knows, yet only he knows.

Very few of us now are constantly reminded of Matt 28:19 and 20. The last few words recorded in Matthew left with us by Christ Jesus. The Great Commission. Like how Mr. Lian puts it, "GO and make disciples of all nations", makes it sound like a special task. The word "GO" is read as if Christians must be "sent out" to fulfill The Great Commission. Please refer to Mr. Lian (Our Bible Study Teacher) what the Greek meaning of the word is, but it does not imply what we frequently derive as "send out". As Christians we are to share the Gospel to everyone around us. Not being afraid to love the people around us and tell them about Jesus Christ and the Salvation that He has given to us all! We have failed to realize this urgency and sometimes it is because we already feel the comfort of the company that we are in, even though the company is but a few people.

When was the last time you've talked to your friend about your faith? When was the last time you mentioned Jesus Christ to a friend? Do your friends around you know you are a Christian? Does your life speak Christ to them? Are you a living breathing model of Christ that people recognize and would want to follow?

Here's something that might help us all...
(Romans 1:14) I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise.
WE OWE THEM THE GOSPEL~!!!
Paul writes here that he owes Greeks and the Barbarians (All Gentiles),
Wise or unwise (Phd Holder or that HoBo down the street),
Momma always say... if you owe someone something, go repay him at once when you've got the means to...
Until we realize that our friends need God, or else they're on the Highway to Hell... then we see the urgency. A lot of us allow them to pass us by, they become our friends, worked and played with them, but yet we've never had the urge to repay that debt we so owe them... the Gospel.

As a confession, in my many years of walking with the Lord, I've only been spoken to a few non-Christians about God and Christ. Sharing the Gospel had never been an urgency. Even in my campus days, I've not done much as a Christian student, carriying out my obligation to tell my friends about the Gospel. In this pluralistic society where tolerance dominate, we tend to "respect" one another's religion by not talking about religion at all. We don't want to "offend" our friends. We don't want to be called the "fanatic". I personally had fallen into that trap, I'm finding my way out. How? By making the first step to reach out. My campus days are not over yet, and so does many of us. I believe it is a strategic time being in campus where our friends are, as Mr. Lian puts it, too old to be given orders and too young to be expected of anything. It is here that men and women will turn to God when given a chance.

I'm not making anymore excuses. In the words of Will Hung (a great philosopher), "I have no professional training..."
We DON'T need professional training to share the Gospel.
If we Love our friends enough, we will tell them about it. Not just in words, but also in our actions. The way we live our lives, our integrity, our principles, our priorities and our honesty. The quality of your life is what others look at.

But he was always watching one of his companions. He always thought he was a little bit too loud about telling others why they should be on this narrow path instead of the 4 lane highway. But today he understood what it meant to bring across a friend travelling full speed to eternal doom, and suddenly to change course to follow him to eternal life. "Oh... such Joy to see one soul saved." For once he walked a silent street, today he breaks silence by proclaiming Salvation!

ABC's of staying focus

2007-02-16T19:25:00.000+08:00

Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits
Believe in yourself
Consider things from every angle
Don't give up and don't give in
Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
Family and Friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches
Give more than you planned to
Hang on to your dreams
Ignore those who try to discourage you
Just do it
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier
Love your God with all your heart, soul and mind
Make it happen
Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
Open your eyes and see things as they really are
Practice makes perfect
Quitters never win and winners never quit
Read study and learn about everything important in life
Stop procrastinating
Take control of your own destiny
Understand yourself in order to understand others
Visualize it
Want it more than anything
Xccelerate your efforts
You are unique of all God's creations nothing can replace you
Zero in on your target and go for it!

Thanks Charles~!

Beauty of the Night

2007-02-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

Late last night, I saw a face,
A familliar radiance, I longed to meet,
Its full glory brought evening's grace,
Yet memories made it bitter sweet.

The cool of the north wind billowing,
Listen to the tree leaves brushing,
The clouds in the sky quietly shifting,
Yet she stands still brightly shining.

Caught up in the satin purple sky,
Writ largely, she takes centerstage,
Beauty that can wet a man's eye,
Lasting beauty gone beyond age,

As the stars cast their own glow,
She still comes to steal the show,
Yet this glory, only for a night,
For in 15 days she will again hide,
Likened to her grand Entree,
So also she does in her Degress,
She gestures a little curtsey,
And a graceful smile on her face.

So see you again in a month or so,
For month after month, you watch me grow,
Your gleaming beauty I'll always recall,
Lasting memories ever since I was small.

Hitting the RESET button

2007-01-23T10:03:00.000+08:00

File not found errors, slow program run, frequent disconnections...

Cleaning up disk space,
Throw unwanted files and folders,
Sort documents into different folders according to their classification
Uninstall junk softwares,
Run SpySweeper to remove trojan/spywares
Run a full system defragmentation,
Hit RESET~!!!

This is the season where I've come to a pitstop and start to reflect on recent events. Doing a little self analysis on the way and also resorting my life and gather my thoughts back to where they once were. Pin pointing my feelings and highlighting my emotions, Listing my To-Dos and mind mapping my responsibilities.

I've come to realize, I've lost initiative to strive for excellence. I'm contented at where I am, but I think being where I'm at will lead me nowhere. Too relaxed during the holidays and my focus is all over the place. I don't know waht's going on for what reason and what areas of my life is affected. This is why, from today onwards I've decided to get back in gear and step on the gas pedal. But before I can do that, I've got to determine where I wanna go. Destination please~!?
(Kinda late for the start of the Sem huh? 4th Week already~!!)

PRIORITIZE~!!!

I've lost all sense of what's more important. Worst, I've forgotten who is MOST important. I think I've ignored who I truly believe in long enough. I'm asking for Your forgiveness for my lack of interest in coming back into Your presence the way I used to. O' Lord, how I wish to converse with You once again like I've used to. I realized that I've taken You (and Your grace) for granted and that my reduced conversations with you were based on the assumptions that You would understand. But it has shown me how much it drifts me away from being right beside You. I know Your hands still hold me, but yet I do not know Thee... Help me to know what it's like to fall in love with You all over again.

Without God, a man can live a life without directions. I've not experienced that fulfilling experience again since I've started this semester. I've got too much time, but I'm wasting it away. Kim Cheng has challenged me to take me Sleep and do something Deep. While I'm here, I've got lots of investments to do. But I've not started anything yet. And even as a student, I've not been fulfilling my responsibilities as a Undergraduate of University of Malaya. Study? "Later larh.." I guess this "Later-larh..." attitude has got to go!

Being overlly sensative may sometimes be a burden. Thinking too much and putting circumstances on assumptions has bogged me down to wonder what's happening. Is there something wrong with me? Has anything changed? What more can I do? Asking stupid questions get stupid answers. At times, all it takes is allowing nature to take its course.. humans are often good at altering it based on their own ideals. I believe God has set all this for us, so what is there to worry? As long as all Glory is given to God in all that takes place, there's not greater satisfaction even if it doesn't go my way!

Past 2 days has been days of ramblings. Probably it was a time for me to churn out what's inside, putting it on a table and sort out what goes back in and what has to stay out. For a sentimental person like me who archives almost anything in life, its hard to hit the DELETE button. What has been said or written has a Value to me... though sometimes these Values are just Burdens that occupy space on my Physical Memory. I think the next keyword is...

LET GO~!!!

Laying down my burdens and setting them down is indeed a humbling process. It indicates a sign of weakness, that this traveller has had too much to bear and he takes this little break. Everyone else just seem to be moving on fine with those heavy burdens on their back.. some look at me on the way and scoffs "Weak-ling!! See my burderns I bear is far greater than yours! Get up, pick them all up again and move along~!!"
Challenged? Tempted? Feel like taking them all up again and continue this journey? Now that I'm humbled, I think isn't it Wiser that I call upon a God who loves me and take these burdens away? All my food supplies, ration, med kits, shelter, and other "necessary items" to be taken off my back and rely on Jehovah Jireh~!? Wouldn't that be easier? I'd even probably overtake these "scoffers" when I'm ready to move on, and perhaps tell them about their unnecessary burdens they carry and lead them to my Saviour!
I guess now its just the time for me to get up and go.. but sometimes getting up also has this little pauses.. to stretch and bend, carck your bones and flex your muscles before you actually take the first step away? I hope I don't take too long doing it... I guess its time to...

MOVE ON~!!!

Take a look at the map, ask for directions, set a path plan, tell my guide I'm ready.. Let's go...

Our Identity in the Trinity

2007-01-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

The mystery of the Trinity to many of us is still very unclear. Even Christians are unable to properly define the Trinity because it seems mathematically incorrect. How can 1 + 1 + 1 be 1? Three in Persons? One in Spirit? I thought this was classic monotheism? Why is there a Triune Godhead? I’m not writing this to tackle any of these questions, but I’m here to point us to an understanding of how this Trinity is unto us. How are we identified within the Trinity?

We are:-

Temple of the Holy Spirit.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
(1 Corinthians 6:19)

Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We are asked to honor it because now that we belong to God, and that the Spirit of God dwells within us. This is why Paul has continually urged the churches to keep our bodies righteous before God so as not to have this temple within us defiled.

The Power of the Holy Spirit makes manifest the presence of God in our lives in many ways; by receiving the Gifts of the Spirit as well as the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), guiding us in our Prayers coherent with the will of the Father (Romans 8:28), alerting us of our trespasses against God the Father, and much much more.

While still in this lifetime, we know that it is impossible for a man to keep the laws of God simply because of the sinful nature that we were born with. This is why God must then be indwelling within our lives making us a new creation, birthed in Spirit.

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature …… But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law”
(Galatians 5:16-18)

The Holy Spirit was sent to us as a guide as believers of Christ. We are aided by the Spirit to discover our identities in God and through it we glorify God with our praises and also in worship.

Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, ”Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
(1 Corinthians 12:3)

We are all blinded as creatures that lack understanding. We will not be able to understand God if He were not revealed to us by the Spirit. Without the experience of the Spirit, God would be reduced to a human concept. (1 Corinthians 2:10-16).

Body of Christ

Therefore, my brethren, ye also have become dead to the law by the body of Christ, that ye should be married to another, even to Him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
(Romans 7:4)

For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.
(1 Corinthians 12:12)

The Church of Jesus Christ is the Body of Christ as He is the head of the church. Whatever the body does exalts the head, and what ever the head desires the body to do, the body acts. This is in the understanding of the direct will of God (guided by the Holy Spirit).

Many Christians claim Christianity as a private affair. “It’s between me and God, so what do I need a Church for?” This is their failure to understand that the whole intent of God’s creation since His Word was first spoken was the creation of the Church that will in the end be glorified together with Christ. Only from the Church, God is creating an assembly of men and women who would choose to love Him and for that, they will live in eternity in His presence.

Sons of God

Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God! Therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not.
(1 John 3:1)

Therefore thou art no more a servant but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.
(Galatians 4:7)

”..that, being justified by His grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”
(Titus 3:7)

God also appears to us as a Father. In our prayers we often mention our Father in heaven, yet many times we really don’t appreciate the privilege of being able to call the Lord God almighty our Father? I don’t know about you, but it simply amazes me that we are able to call Him that! We are children of the promise! And it doesn’t stop there! We are even called to be heirs of God’s kingdom. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, so that makes us Kings and Lords of His dominion.

Mr Lian always tells us that someday we are to be rulers of the universe! That is why this lifetime is like a training ground for us. In understanding our status as Christians and what we are moving towards. What phase of Eternal Life we are going through now and how God works in our lives, we would be able to watch our walk with God more closely… not only in this lifetime… but for Eternity!

Believe it or not…. We have a Destiny~!!

Tagged by Kok How

2007-01-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

Four things many don’t know:-
I fell into a drain once
I have flexible facial muscles
I have a fascination with little animals
I can sing, but I can’t rap

Four movies I can watch over and over:-
Beauty and the Beast
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
The Fugitive

Four places I have lived:-
Riviera, Cheras
H5 tower Pandan Jaya
Taman Bukit Teratai (Where I’m at now)
Bestari (4th) Residential College, UM

Four TV shows I love:-
Sponge Bob Square Pants
The Nanny
Discovery Channel
X-Play

Four places I have been on vacation:-
Perth, Australia
Banda Seri Begawan, Brunei
Bali, Indonesia
Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

Four of my favourite foods:-
(any) Chicken Rice
(any) Nasi Lemak
Ngau Lam Mee at Petaling Street
Nippon Sushi

Four places I’d rather be:-
New Zealand
Europe
Korea
Home (its where my heart is)

Four songs currently listening to:-
Josh Groban – Closer Album
Gary Chaw – Romeo and Juliet
Jay Chou – Fantasy Album
Cold Play – Speed of Sound

Four other people who will be tagged:-
Mei Si
Kimberly
Ivy Se Hoo
Jun Yi

Sweeter as the years go by

2007-01-02T01:06:00.000+08:00

Of Jesus’ love that sought me,

when I was lost in sin;

Of wondrous grace that brought me back to His fold again;

Of heights and depths of mercy, far deeper than the sea,

And higher than the heavens, my theme shall ever be.

Sweeter as the years go by,

Richer, fuller, deeper, Jesus’ love is sweeter,

Sweeter as the years go by.

Its the beginning of a new year~! Celebrations are on the way World Wide~! All around the World people are counting down in their respective timezones. This year there's even a greater celebration, for the muslims all over the world are already celebrating the Hari Raya Haji!

Celebrations everywhere!!! It reminds me of how Humanity is celebrated. As much as those who would cast a wet blanket at me right now to remind me of the sufferings elsewhere in the world... let us for one moment be reminded of the greatness of the civics men have established over history. The celebrations of the calendar dates, ceremonies as well as the fancy display of lights and decoratives everywhere marks a significance in the delight of LIFE itself.

As the hymn goes on singing "Sweeter as the years go by", this year I want to dedicate myself to drawing ever more closer to Jesus my Saviour, Lord, King, Brother and Friend. I believe its a challenge of faith for me to walk closely in His guidance. May my will be as His so as I would carry out His plans for me with His strength that comes in the joy it brings.

I don't know what will become of this year... but I'm starting off this year with Anticipation instead of Fear!

O' Lord, that I remain faithful to walk in Your ways.
Help me lead those behind me. That I leave springs of water on grounds I tread.
May my life be an inspiration to others as You have inspired me.

Goodbye 2006

2006-12-31T19:17:00.000+08:00

31st December 2006

Done with another year. Its been a good beginning and I think its been a better ending. Surely I thank God most of all for His faithfulness to me throughout this year. Like the man who looked back at the footprints in the sand, sometimes I felt as if He wasn't there with me when trouble times came, but amidts a few trying times throught this year, He has shown His goodness and His presence in my life ever so evidently!

This year I've got the opportunity to strenghten ties with more of my old friends and also got to know a few new ones. I'm really thankful for all my friends who've been there with me, through joy and sadness, leisure and pressure, for the sharing in open and in secret, for laughters that make my jaws ache and quietness for a listening ear... there are so many times in my ups and downs this year that I thank God for sending a friend to be with me!

Family!!! This year I've done somethings that I've never thought possible to express to my family members. For each of my family members I've done something for them on their birthdays. For my mom, a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. For my dad, a swanky steak dinner at Rendezvous. And for my dear sister Ivy, a surprise trip down to Singapore to celebrate her 21st Birthday! Big girl already...

Summary of '06

Started this year as President of PKVUM. Heavily tasked, pretty draining but exciting!
Come February, it a lovey dovey month with Valentines Day in place and all. Came pretty close to getting hooked up with someone. Close...
Had a great Easter party in Mid-March and me for the first time playing "Jesus". Wasn't a walk in the park...
Exams - Exams and more Exams in April!
Spent 2 and a half months in Industrial training after that at a Palm Oil Mill... a Great Experience living in the countyside (Gua Musang, Kelantan)
June, something happened that made me think the world was crashing down on me (~~ Why does the sun keep on shining?~~~), only to find myself landing on a pillow that broke my fall.
Come a New Semester!! Less work load, new Juniors, new challenges, more support.
Debaters calling me back to join them but I declined... once again. Helped them at Haluansiswa and was tempted to join them again.
Projects and more PKV projects
Mid-Sem came, thought I'm gonna do badly this sem for sure~!! So bucking up!!
One week holiday that was half spent in Cameron. Here, there were rumours spreading about me getting too close to someone.
September was a whole month of thinking.. could she be The One? Mid September the question popped up. Friends are asking, parents are curious, buddies are provoking!
Question 2 popped up again in a dramatic way the day 5th Semester ended~! She said "yes".
Study - Dating - Study - Study - Dating - Study - Study - Study - Dating - Study - Exam~!!
Holiday~! One whole month of "Honeymoon". Was down in Singapore to celebrate [V]s birthday!
Late December and my supposedly Final Sem just started and with it came the Winter Holiday Seasons... (I wish there was really snow here... really hot and damp in KL~!!!)
Resolutions for the New Year?? ---- Yet to be made
-- End of 2006 .... awaiting 2007~!! --

Have a wonderful year ahead my friends~!!!

Signing off the last Blog Entry of 2006~!
-everquint-

-END-

Loosing sight of the enemy

2006-12-13T01:58:00.000+08:00

Its been a long long time since I've heard, talked, read or even spell this word... and particularly, its gonna be the first time I'm using it on my blog. Little of him has been discussed even in churches, to many his name brings an aura of fear... though we know we should not fear for the battle has already been won... he has become invisible in our thoughts, but still he's very real, just that often times we forget...

Ok by now... some of you would have been asking who "he" refers to... "he" as I wanna put it is such a low-life that does not deserve a capital letter if the word he begins in a sentence though it defies the laws of written English. he is namely satan..
Oh yeah... gotta credit David Choong for the book "God at Work". It struck me here that there is the existence of evil at work too...

satanism has been so gorily depicted in films, stories and even tales of old so much so that it has veiled us from seeing his true nature that many of us have forgotten about... the great deceiver (well, ok didn't really want to put the word great there also... hehe... giving too much credit).
It has been made so "Obvious" that the subtle is neglected. This is also a LIE in itself.

But its true that he is like a roaring lion awaiting for his victims to be defenseless then devour...
he is so much a part of our society today and all that goes on in our mundane lives yet we cannot see him nor see his evil deeds...
The phrase "power of good and evil" seems only to exist in our fairy tales... there's no realistically tangible evidence in our everyday lives...

Today we see the power of evil is also at work in our lives, yet it most often goes unnoticed.
Ever heard a whisper in your head telling you to do something you shouldn't?
Ever thought of cheating in even the little tests?
Ever thought of getting away with not paying for your meal?
Ever thought of giving a bribe to your friendly neighbourhood traffic policeman?
Ever thought of putting the blame on your little brother and getting away with it?

What are his fiery darts?
The enemy doesn't just lunges big hoops of flames causing us to instantly crash and burn, but they hits us fiery darts and lets us slowly bleed to our death. These darts are called LIES.
Lies is the deadliest weapon because it confuses the mind and hurts the soul. Lies puncture our armors slowly, doesn't seem to hurt or bothers us at first. Probably feel a sting or two and we feel uncomfortable about something being said or done to others. But if we don't find the root of why we do certain things that we know it is NOT right yet we allow ourselves to "indulge", we will never be able to identify that these are lies we live by and commit ourselves to discipline.
One of the biggest lie today is Self Deception. When we deceive ourselves, we can even repel rebuke. We will turn a deaf ear to correction and we continue to walk in a path we think its "right".

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 4:17

When individuals start cheating themselves, they start cheating others around them as well. Some people call them hypocrites (Which I think most of us are), and some are out right liars. Cumulatively, it spawns a society full of liars, cheaters and even mockers. Now we get a macroscopic view of he problem. Corruption, bribery, tax evasion, organized crime, and even murder. Small little things in life that sparks a chain of events can result in heavy consequences. A little giving in and ignorance is all it takes to create a fault, destined for a tragedy.

There are demons at work!
They are out to get us!
We need not fear because we know the Truth!
But we have to be vary of their presence lest we are caught off guard!
Be vigilant with our thoughts!
Be watchful of our actions!
Have we forgotten?
The great tempter is roaming over the earth waiting to devour!

Tale of 2 tourists

2006-12-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

It was 6.40am. The pesky buzz of "Encore", sung by JayZ with Linkin Park was screaming in his ear. "Argghh.. I need some more sleep~!!", He said to himself and gently pushed the side buttons of his phone to Snooze the ringer. ZZZzzz... He fell back into deep slumber.

6.48am, "Ding Ding Ding Ding... Thank You Thank You~~~...", off the alarm ringer went again. "Who would have thought Motorola would make the snooze for only 8 minutes? So odd!!" He thought to himself, "And its got no option to set it longer or shorter! 8 minutes? So weird~!"
Dazed and feeling a little blur he made his way into the bathroom to take an early warm shower.

After a quick shower, he was reminded of a comment someone once said to him, it was more like a question. "Where are you from sir?", asked the man at the ticketing counter. "Oh! We're local, from Kuala Lumpur," he replied feeling a little awkward. "Sorry sir, I thought both of you were from Hong Kong." the man commented. Then he just smiled and thought to himself, "was that a positive comment? Or do I just look weird?"

Because of that, he made up his mind to do something different today. He sent an early SMS to his darling that read...
"Morning dear, did you rest well? I was just thinking of doing something cheeky today. Wanna dress up like tourists? Add a sunglass or a cap perhaps? See ya later~!"
She didn't reply so he assumed she'll surprise him.

She came to his house about 7.30am dressed in pink with a neatly folded pink scarf. It was given to her by a dear friend. A beautiful scarf to be worn by a stunning mantrap. He was dressed in a hawaiian shirt and had a sombrero shape-like hat. No, he lost his sunglasses a few months ago. Much regretted.

She had some business to settle so they went to her uncle's place to get books from her cousin sister and he had a short chat with her uncle. (Ooo.. getting to know the family better ehh..) They both left the house at 8.10am and it was still early (so they thought). They parked straight into KLCC's underground parking lot. Both of them were really excited for the day's events and they got out of their car quickly and tried to hurry to get THE tickets.

Well, yeah as many of you would have guessed. THE tickets were to allow them to go up to the skybridge. Something they've done before, but not satisfied the last time. For today it was clear blue sky and the view from up there would have been nothing but Spectacular!!

Then they made their way to the ticketing booth and was there about 8.30am sharp. Early... but not early enough~!! There were soooo many REAL tourists there already waiting for the free tickets to go up the skybridge... aww (sob**sob**) both of them were devastated! They couldn't achieve what they came here to do. But little did they know... this was only the Beginning~!

Perhaps it was because of this disapointment she made up her mind to spend quality time here with him since they were already here anyway. It was their first time at KLCC so early in the morning without anything to do! All dressed up, for NOTHING?
"No way~!" she exclaimed, "we're not gonna be so dressed up so early in the morning for nothing!".
So she asked him to take her to the park, since the sunshine would have done them much good! Both he and she headed towards the park with her trusty camera.

As they closed in to the park looking like a couple of tourists, they started pointing high and low. Up at the twin towers he exclaimed, "Whoa~! those are the 2 tallest twins in the world~!"
"Wah, look, the sunlight is reflected by the windows of the high rise building lar!" she shouted in awe as she examines the aluminium platings and the glass panels off the building surface.
"Wah!....wah!...wah!!!", and the "Wah!"s kept on going as they headed towards the fountain..
"Wah, thats a fountain? so many holes at the bottom but no water flushng up geh??"
"Wah, but its such a big pool of water for a fountain!". "Wah, the water so clear la!"...
"(Sam-Pat betul lerr)," some of the other local visitors thought to themselves.

Then she took out her Secret Weapon. A gadget that freezes time and seals it as long as bits and bytes exists. A Nikon Coolpix that is willing to their "Cool" shots. It was kind of their first time taking pictures together so they were quite shy about it. But to start the lenses clicking, he was willing to let her shoot him a few times.

The "Korean" Guy

But it wasn't fun taking pictures of only him, so he persuaded her to let him take pictures for her instead, so she reluctantly agreed, then only willingly took one picture for her.

The "Korean" Girl

Pretty soon the camera lenses got warmed up and so did she, it was time for him to convince her that they should take a picture together. She became so shy, so he kinda had to force take a picture that looked plain weird.

"Let me tell you something...", he said
"Is he trying to kiss me?", she thought **blushes**

Then as the sun started scorching the earth, so did it heat the atmosphere and the shots were getting warmer. Though they didn't manage to get up to the skybridge today, this was the best view they could get of the bridge from ground level.

Aiya~! Whose hands are those?
Kacau-ing the view only~!!

And the Sam-Pat-ness (38-ness) continues as they kept playing with the camera.

Kawaii-neh~!!

Why so mad lehh...??
Aww, darling sayang!

Well when 2 Sam-Pat (38) people get together armed with a camera in hand this is what you get...

Eii, he can roll! She can't...

Budak Getah

The next Bond Girl?

But as the morning progresses, the sun rays were getting a little too intense for these tourists and their legs were growing weary from walking around the park. He took her by the hand and led her to a shaded bench and they rested there. Rested from the walk and also rested from their talk. It was a sudden mood change, all along earlier in the day it was cheerful, loud, noisy and funny but now things were going mellow. Their voices were lower, their speech became slower... it was a new morning, the sun has already rose to a good angle, good enough to cast a shadow off a slanting tree by these two, and good enough to produce a Rainbow as the spinklers went off to water the trees in the park simulating the morning dew.

The rainbow always reminded him of a New Promise, a hope to hold fast to.
"I wish this moment never ends", he whispered to her.
"Can we freeze time?" She asked in reply.
"We can't, but we can always look back in time," he answered and took her camera from her hand and took a snapshot that would remain in their memory as well as in data form.

Sands of time can never stop falling,
But we can always look back to cherish a moment.

This I promise you

Its getting late! No matter how much sticky tape the janitor had put on these benches to keep couples from leaving would never work. Its almost 10am, they've gotta go! Otherwise his phone will keep buzzing because he was expected to be with his buddies soon after. Both of them were running on empty tanks, her stomach was growling, his was already singing "Ooohh... Gardenia~~!!"

They walked back into KLCC hurriedly and went back into the Atrium. Both forgotten where they had come from so they were just wandering around that area for a few minutes. She stumbled on to a watch shop that sold fancy looking watches going cheap!
He asked her, "Why not take a look, you've been looking for a watch for quite some time right?"
They began looking for a suitable pair. It was 2 pieces for RM 30, so it was well for him to get one too.. Quickly they decided on 2 pairs and he bought it for her and one for himself. It wasn't a pair of look-a-likes because they considered the praticalities that if its different, they could swap watches whenever they liked.

After that little distraction, it was high time they find their vehicle! He was running late! She was hungry! They were LOST! Two blur "tourists" traced their way ack to the parking lot but they had forgotten which floor the car was parked. He paid the parking ticket as a gamble to get out of the car-park before the grace period expires. She helped him hunt for the car.

As they wandered aimlessly amongst the parking lots, a kind stranger offered his help.
"Excuse me, where are you both off to? Are you lost?".
She with in her panicky state resolved herself to a calm cool behaviour and replied,
"Oh no sir, we're just looking for our car." Smiled, turned away... blushed a little and the two burst out in laughter as they saw the man going in through the glass doors.
"We're really lost aren't we?" He said to her.
"Haha, I guess so," she replied.
He apologized and regret that he should have parked outside near the KLCC park.
"It's okay la, fun isn't it?" and she continued laughing.

Very soon, he was convinced that they were at the wrong floor and they needed to go one more down. Once they were down, they immediately spotted their car and quickly jumped into it. "I guess we've got one more thing in common," she commented. "We're both blur when it comes to remembering where we've parked our car!".
"That's a serious problem isn't it?" He replied, "we'd better fix that hunh?".
She gently replied, "we don't have to, I'm happy to have a company just as blur as me!"

[Fragile] - Handle with care

2006-11-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure how true this news is, but I just heard that the 8th College President just passed away yesterday in a freaky way. He just went in his sleep after watching TV with his friends in 8th college. All of a sudden, he was just taken away like that. It doesn't scare me much in that way, for the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. It just makes me ponder over what I have now and what I would have left in this world after I move on? What would I take into eternity with me?

Sense, Smell, Touch, Feel, Taste, Thought, LIFE. The consciousness of the existance of Self.

Today I looked back into the looking glass and saw myself. Who have I become. Who am I becoming? My year as a 21 year old has gone and passed. But I've treasured every moment of it. I've learnt so much more than that of the other 20 years cumulatively! .

I've learnt how to be a leader, a big brother, a teacher, a good friend, a listener, and to love others like Christ did. Of course, there may have been ups and downs. To come to think of it I'd probably recall 4 ups and 2 downs that were intensely significant. But in general, I think I've grown more maturely to walk the path of a man. It was part of shaping my character, grinding off the rough areas and chipping back on what doesn't belong. I've learnt to let go of somethings and embrace a few new ones. I'm thankful that now my life shares with someone else other than me and my family. It feels different, unexpected yet a thrilling experience that I'm giving time to adjust to. Amidts all these things that has been going on in my life, it seems like I've still got a long way to go.

But what "if" something would have gone wrong? Or time's up? What would I have gained? What would I have lost? What would I be like in eternity? What can I take with me? What do I leave behind?

Ye Mortals that are likened to a brittle wick,
Cease to breathe by a simple flick,
Even to a drop of water on a pebble break,
When ye perish, not thy choice to make.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You~!

2006-11-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding~~
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're far too kind~~!"

I wanna thank all my friends whom which I've recieved many many well wishes.
Simple ones, Funny ones, Philosophical ones, Weird ones, Poetic ones, Lovely ones, Long distant ones, Sophisticated ones. Thank you all~!

Though there's the exam papers bore in thoughts all day long, I hardly had the mood to really celebrate my birthday, and knowing that everyone around me was either too far or too busy I wasn't really expecting much this year. The day went on just as any ordinary morning, just that the hand phone was heavily bombarded till late afternoon.

But retiring to the evening, it was nice to have a quiet dinner. I needed to babysit the kiddos cuz my parents and my neighbour attended a wedding dinner. So I packed chicken rice for them earlier. It was nice to share sometime "babysitting" the kids when I brought them to KLCC park. Just felt a little bored at home cuz I wouldn't let them play the computer... (they've played it for 6 hrs in the morning~!!). Had a lovely night drive round town and back. Wasn't raining, really cooling. All the while there was still Monday's test in my head and I was already feeling a little dozy from the day. All in all, thanks dear. Really appreciate all you've done~!

Well, I'm 22 now~! Its 11 x 2 hehe... Significant number 11.

All through the day many a cheerful ring,

My little gadget continues to sing,

Friends with all their well wish bids,

And an afternoon well spent with kids.

Much solitude even as evening draws nigh,
Left my spirits in a irksome sigh,
The moon absent in the November sky,
Am I expecting something? I wonder why?
Then came a familiar glow,
Not from the sky, but here below,
Brought to me my feed for the eventide,
And some time well shared late into the night.

To the Lord above I say thank you~!
For friends who stick through and through.
Once again as I reflect on those around.
They've always put my feet back on the ground.
Dear friends, I can't thank you enough.
Thick or thin, smooth or rough,
May His love we continue to share,
Amongst ourselves, and to others out there~!

Birthday --- Exams

2006-11-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Every year without fail I run into this dilemma of 2 worlds. To celebrate or to dread studying.
Yup, I'm taking the liberty this year here just to share a little bit of what I go through in the recent years.

I love the number 11. Ok, November 11 is special to me (Obviously... if u don't yet know.. its my BIRTHDAY~!!). And to add to that effect, I was born at 11:13pm at Hospital Besar Cina Kuala Lumpur. Yeah, I guess you could say my dad was 2 minutes late to register me exactly at 11:11pm, but I'm still glad.

The date itself is very easy to remember, and you've guessed it, my SMS inbox is being bombarded by friends from every circle. Friends of Old and friends of Late, from old church, old school mates, Serayians and Victorians, PKVians, Old fellow Campers, UM-ers, Bestarians, and family members. Just wanna shout out a word of THANK YOU to all of you~! (Yeah, thx Kim - all the way from Auzzieland~!)

But the sad part is, ever since High School days, espcially when we're taking Major Exams (SPM and STPM), my Birthday Falls on the Exam period~!! I think I was taking Biology STPM on my 19th Birthday. Ever since I've been in University of Malaya, I've always had posponed birthday celebrations. At those times, It just doesn't feel the same like the old days.

My most memorable birthday was when I turned 18 in 2002. I was in lower 6 and most of us were already in the holiday mood drawing to the close of the academic year. My old school friends with some of my new Victorian friends threw a party for me at my house~! I enjoyed it very very much! It was fun having the whole house noisy with chatters and laughters. Then they brought out the "Secret Recipe Chocolate Banana" cake~! HUGE pile of cream and fudge~! I loved it so much~! It was sooo big we couldn't finish it thought there were so many of us. Those were the days... (or rather that was the day...)

Yup, yet again today and for the past 2 years, Exams and Birthdays clash. My 21st birthday was another quiet one. Just me and my family minus Ivy who was in Singapore, sat at Kim Gary's Mid Valley on table 11 and had a decent meal. (Thanks Ashley for the nice card u made and the guys back from the old school for the cross necklace you people gave, dad and mom for the gold ring)

Today has just begun. My friend is getting married today~! So it means my parents will be going to her wedding and I'll be babysitting the kiddos at home. (Congrats Krystal~! Have a wonderful wedding~!). Well, the day has just begun. At least 1hr and 21 mins through by now already. Who knows what's in store.. haha :)

Birthdays remind me of alot of my friends. Its true when they say no man is an Island. We're all born in a sea of faces. People we meet and get acquainted becomes part of our lives. How well we be friends depends on how much time and exprience we share with them. Throughout our lives we will continue to engage with one another giving and taking from one another till we depart from this world. It also reminds us of what really matters that we do here on earth. Is it worth it all? Can I make a grown man cry? Or a sobbing toddler cease her tears?

What are we doing here?...

Let's study..

Stillness

2006-11-02T01:01:00.000+08:00

In the midts of silence you hear nothing,
Grass fields of tranquility, there's wind blowing,
An easy breeze after the rain but no trees brushing,
It is still, calm and serene.
Time for solitude and placid.
Nature is quiet, not even whispering.

Much like this blog for quite a while, nothing has been written, nothing expressed. Tonight to break literary absence it would be good to see a few words here.

I've been working on an entry that has forced me to put it into drafts for 4 times now. There are things that I'm still very uncertain of and must be really cautious when engaging such an issue. I think being careless about what is about to be written here is most cataclysmal. Keeping readers in suspense? Not really, haven't found the time to do some research about it anyway.. piled with lots to study and work at hand.

Times have certainly changed for me. I feel like a different man ever since our lecture weeks ended on 20th October. There are certain readjustments for me that I'm forced to make... at least I force myself to make. Its to pave way for what is to come. Everytime I talk about the future, it comes with little uncertainty. Yes today I will tell you again, I'm not even sure what way am I paving for myself. But I'm positive that God indeed has great plans for all of us and that we should commit our desires to Him that He may see it come to pass according to His will. I've learnt to embrace the future with anticipation rather than fear. What is to come, must come because the future is in His hands.

I think I'm very much a man who reacts differently to circumstances, obligations and environment. My stepping down as president has softened myself much more now that I'm no longer in leadership. There isn't a rush inside anymore to have things done or rather see to it that things get done. I believe I've learnt alot from this experience over the past 1 year and I'm sure such an experience would be put to better use in near future. I'm truly glad that there is a bunch of young willing servants who rose to take responsibility over PKVUM and though I'm put off the stage, I promise to continue to inspire~!

There comes a point when a traveller must meet a crossroad and choose his path. Knowing that one road leads to another and that it may not meet once again with the road he formerly negated. But a decision in confidance is but all it takes to keep on moving, aware of someone who loves him is always looking out for him. That is his comfort.
I've made a decision, a commitment, a promise that I intend to keep.

O' Lord, see me to the end~!

Time Gap

2006-09-20T12:24:00.001+08:00

Sparingly using a little of my time,
To come up with a simple rhyme,
Class cancelled, a test posponed,
Some ticking-tocks I can call my own,
Time, something I can now afford to abuse,
But only if I could have better used,
Not for long can I keep this up,
Better be wise, don't spill the cup,
My tummy groaning in desperate hunger,
Wonder if the guys are eating? Can't wait much longer,
"Some people" get to eat Italian,
I think I'll only get to savour sub-Asian,
Can we go now? Its singing Gardenia~!
Time's up, gotta face realia~!

Ivan, Grab a Grub and Go Study~!!!

Breaking Silence

2006-09-16T02:07:00.000+08:00

Lately there has been flares of questions that heat deep into my heart. Mostly those questions are of external factors, namely from the people around. But me being a good thermos is able repel such heating by choosing to deny certain things that ought to be faced with some level of seriousness.

Further more it is 2 thermos that are repelling flaring questions about "us". On my part this thermos is completely shut. Her part, she's got a good line of defence utilizing denial as a thick thermal barrage. The more intense the flames become, the more we take cover.

But there must come a time when one must start to open to allow a wee hole in the flask to examine the temperatures outside and test if what they say is true? Considering how hot the temperatures they say it is if they are indeed factual. These questions must then be allowed to enter in and be confronted with seriousness.

How is it then when one starts considering, influences the other to consider as well? She's got it sealed tight, unready to peek out. Perhaps a proposition to its reality would break her silence?
Today this thermos is now broken, consumed in flames with questions of "its" probability. The point is now to puncture a hole in her barrage and perhaps, only perhaps, she may shatter her defences as well.

Dear readers, I'm not talking about thermodynamics... Its a change in the point of view that must take place if there were to be a conclusion to questions.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

2006-09-02T01:30:00.000+08:00

A little something to inspire Malaysians. I'm not sure if they really published this in The Star newspaper

The Voyage

Sail therefore a mighty vessel,
In its own time, in its own course,
Enduring storms, inhaling in serenity,
Bearing in its load, scores of privateers,
From different races, religion, and peers,
Working in harmony in well earned unity.

Achievements never come overnight,
Nothing was gained without a fight
We see how all things came to be,
As we stroll back into our history.

In the past foreign ships came into sight,
Sails reaching celestial heights,
Gloriously cruising in unstoppable momentum,
Didn’t know they’ve come to take our freedom.

Oppressed we were, submitting to them,
Circumstances made us powerless to overcome,
Robbed our supplies, plundered our feed,
We toiled hard to gratify their greed.

Arose therefore warriors of hope,
To claim once more of what they took,
Brilliant leaders then appeared,
To take freedom by the pen with less blood smeared.

Conciliate then a peaceful treaty,
To honour and respect each party,
Agreeing to work parallel with one another,
Instead of one over the other.

Since then, greater we have become,
On the mast we’re able to see how far we’ve gone,
As we unite and set sail together,
Solving hardships we will endeavour,
Across rough seas was part of the voyage,
In history to us, a timeless passage.

Therefore strive on, and make it known,
Show the world how much we’ve grown,
Pushing the limits, crossing the boundaries,
For the end of the horizon lies countless mysteries.

Until we scorch the sky and fathom the sea,
Patriotic citizens we pledge to be.
For the love of one nation,
This be our bastion.

-everquint-

Thought Coherency

2006-08-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

It follows nicely what I've posted earlier, just about 16 hours ago. After Bible Study with Mr. Lian it all came together matched conveniently with my thoughts former. Like I said, its more convenient.. not coincident.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Now, there is nothing on earth that happened in coincidence! Mr. Lian suggested that there is no such thing as luck. Everything can be explained and calculated! A mathematician would say that a roll of dice is by chance.. If you roll a fair dice square enough, the chance for each number to be shown on top would always be 1/6. Throw it frequently enough, it proves that the mathematician is right! There is chances of change~!

But a Physicist would never agree. A dice throw is heavily dependant on all interacting forces that can be precisely calculated, velocity and force of throw, mid air interacting forces, impact and the degree of spin, then the bounce rates of the materials, centrifugal spin velocities... all that and much more can be calculated. And if for one case that such a throw would result in number 3, a perfect replication of this throw would give us 3 again! So is there chance?
I like how Mr. Lian put it. “Chance is the admission of our human finiteness. We don’t compute what actually happens behind that chance.

I believe, God is in control of all things.

Luke 12:7

“But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are more valuable than many sparrows”

And such is my confidence.

Perfect Fit

2006-08-15T07:23:00.000+08:00

The words of my friend Kay Jin still lingers in my thoughts. "Do you believe in coincidance?" he asked. "Certainly there is a divine plan," I replied. "But for what, I may not know yet". Perplexed by the thoughts of a divine arrangement kept me thinking and reflecting on how my life came together like a script perfectly written. I'm not saying my life is perfect, yet how amazingly all things come together around me keeps me believing that there is a Soveriegn God.

As I look back in the days of my High school, my friends always asked of my confidence. "Why aren't you troubled of where you're going? Isn't there something you would like to do? Where do you see yourself in future?". The same friend who asked me these questions is here with me today in UM.

All my life, I've seen how God has led me and my family into difficult cirumstances so we may learn and He would display His awesome wonder of redeeming what's lost. Sadly. it is at troubled times His words speak louder. My family's Exodus from Church to Church has helped us see a bigger picture. Myself in UM has pushed me into a position to be a servant of servants. Relationships cornered me to reexamine my Relationship with Him. In lack I've seen abundance. Indeed. God is in control.

"Don't you think some times we are like stringed puppets on a stage set to entertain the audience of One?" another friend may ask. "A play written by a friend whom I know loves me, I would gladly and willingly follow. May it be bright days or, storms, blessings or perils, I am amenable."

As sacrifice leads to greater sacrifices, will I be able to finally give my all? I know someday the phone will ring, will I be able to say "yes" when I pick it up?

There's a garment already prepared for me. I will grow into it that it may come to me as a perfect fit.

Servant-Hood

2006-08-04T19:26:00.000+08:00

I think it was timely that Rev. Steven Kum came here to speak to us about Servant-hood. I think it was refreshing for those who were involved with so many activities in the past few weeks and also a future motivation and a challenge for those who are new to the CF and are thinking of service here in their campus. Many a time, we tend to start off on the wrong foot as we come to serve God and I think what Steven Kum did today helped some of us to re-gather thoughts of what does it mean to really be a servant of God.

Today I discovered the difference between being a servant and having servant-hood. So it seems that a servant is a man who serves. But having servant-hood is an inner self-sacrificial attitude that yearns to serve the master.

In devising how Mr. Lian would argue this point, I'll try to clarify the divide of service and servant-hood. Service is an act, a servant doesn't necessarily have a heart of a servant (servant-hood), but a person with an in-dwelling heart of a servant carry out the act of service due to the nature of servant-hood within. So we can safely say that, the nature of servant-hood produces its fruits which is the act of service, but the act of service alone doesn't mean the servant has the nature of servant-hood. Service is merely the fruit of servant-hood.

Isaiah 6:1-8

1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.

2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying.

3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."
6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.

7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Here the prophet Isaiah was first commissioned by God to carry out His work. A servant's encounter with his Master. See that the Master is Holy and even the angels declare of His Holiness with their wings covering their heads and feet for even they are unworthy to see Him!
Isaiah was in awe of such glory and was humbled to see the Lord come and felt unworthy when the Lord drew near.

I think the first thing about servant-hood is to know who you are serving. Knowing your Master and acknowledging His sovereign will over our lives is prime step. Often times we start our service because we are asked to and that we feel that there is a need to fulfill that obligation, yet we tend to forget who we are doing it for at the end of the day. Sure it seems like serving others and perhaps will rub off some joy in the process, but we miss the true joy of knowingly serving our Master. The Joy of the Lord is my strength~!! If we were to serve in such an attitude knowing who we are serving, the Joy of serving God gives us strength.

Common day psychologists will tell you that service with a smile brightens those around you and yourself. Smile gives you the vibrant energy to keep going at what you're doing. What more can the Joy of the Lord do for you? At the expense of your labour, you not only keep going, but it becomes pleasurable to you! Talk about enjoying what you do.

Secondly is that we must be cleansed. Isaiah was cleansed with a burning coal upon his lips. He needed to be atoned of his sins that he may do the will of God. We tend to carry a lot of excess baggage that weighs us down even when we are serving. The promise of redemption that God has given to us on the Cross of Calvary is not always the first place we go to before we start off with our service. We tend to drag along a lot of guilt and ill feelings about ourselves and thinking we're incompetent. Have we forgotten the Grace of God that has been freely given to us? In our innocence before God, we are to serve.

Thirdly we avail ourselves to do His work. I remember Cheffrost is always challenging the juniors to check their capabilities versus their availability. Often times, our capabilities may be great but we do not avail ourselves to the service of God. It is better even if we are incapable of many things and that in our weakness avail ourselves and let God use us for His Glory! In a sense, we now serve as humble servants who depend on His leading and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He becomes our inspirator. Forever Relying On God (F.R.O.G.). God is searching for hearts that are willing.

In verse 8, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!". Isaiah was willing. Are you?

*Actually, every time I hear of the name Steven Kum, I'm reminded of Melalyn about her comments of him.. hehe (ask her to tell you if u're curious)*

Southern Thoughts

2006-07-31T00:40:00.000+08:00

Was down in Singapore for the whole weekend and for most of the time that I spent travelling, I invested them in quiet thoughts. There wasn't much to think about but as it went on and on it went deeper and deeper into a maze of principles, ideas and memories.

Singapore tells of many stories in my life. I've been there since I was a little kid and I'm a frequent visitor to that little island. (Though still unfamiliar with the roads..) Stories of old, stories of late. Yet to think of it, it has never really given one to smile about. (Except for that BEAUTIFUL fireworks display at Esplanade 2 years back).

Got involved with the Big walk by Touch Community Services (FCBC) charity event. I think what they are doing there was a good effort to aid the society in a mega scale. There was an estimate of 20,000 participants and I made one more count! We walked from City Hall, passed the Esplanade, crossed over to the Fullerton, round the Central Business District (CBD) then followed down Boat Quay, back to the Fullerton and based back at the Padang at City Hall. All in all took us about 2 hours. Hot and tiring but it was good to catch up with Sunny Tan and made a few new friends. Sunny is down in Singapore making a living. It's his first month and its been good. Didn't ask him much about Mabel, but Eng Huan* said it was an inside joke. Was it her who drove simple care-free Sunny down south? Perhaps love really does take people into extremities.
Eng Huan*, (dude sorry if I got your name spelt wrongly.. well at least I tried.. haha)

There's something in the atmosphere of Singapore that lures me into power and greatness. It seemed like a good fruit to take a bite in and that its telling me if I were to take a bite off it, I'll taste the juicy sweetness within. All the luxury, comfort and security that I can achieve with my potential only if I work hard enough. I do envy the richness of the land. When I start to compare it with Malaysia, makes me want to pack my bags and leave this place. Life is good, who doesn't want it? Come on, take a look at the exchange rate, Income per capita, consider the purchasing power. (You can buy furniture at half the price in Ikea here if you compare dollar to dollar)

But as my thoughts wandered, I begin to ask myself, is this what I want? The luxury, comfort and security invokes a spiritual complacency. Furthermore, it is always a rat race to keep pursuing riches to maintain such a lifestyle down there, it keeps me away from what I intend to do here in Malaysia with my life. Everytime I'm down south, I reconsider making a living there giving up all that I have here. Now I begin to ask, is this what He wants? I know He has plans for me here and perhaps plans in future to move me elsewhere.

I dare not speak about missions in the open though it is a burning passion yet I fear one that I cannot pay the price for. I've always ask what is the purpose of living in luxury that perishes with your earthly body. Yet for me, a mortal being, I tend to enjoy what is presently available and forgetting what is in the eternal. Is the yearn for immediate satisfaction a crime? Or perhaps to mellow my degree of satisfaction to live in contentment? Oh, how great the greed of man whose bellies are ever famished!
(Aiya... these Chinese especially la... Kiasu wan larr..)

If I go... I'll call it the SUDOXE [su,Dok,si] ...(revert Exodus)... returning to the riches of Egypt

-Awaiting orders to heed Your call-

Candy

2006-07-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

A little boy not too long ago saw a piece of candy in a candy shop. At first sight he thought it was beautiful with all its blazing colours tipped off with a delightful sugar coated rainbow on top. Everyday he would walk that road and would peer into that shop to see that candy. He wondered if anyone has already ordered it for reservation or just that no one else looked at it the way he did. It was there, hasn't anyone bought it?

He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.

When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.

The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.

The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.

There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.

When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.

Good Bye

2006-07-16T02:09:00.000+08:00

There are many ways to say good bye, throwing a farewell party, having a simple dinner, over the phone or blowing good bye kisses at the air port. The out come is still the same. One minute they're there, the next minute, they're gone.

There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.

Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?

There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.

Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference

Broken Vow

2006-06-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

I like these songs by Josh Groban, I feel theres a message behind his songs and I think its subtle enough that sometimes even Christians overlook.

Broken Vow

How Paul illustrates that the church is the bride of Christ is very interestingly portrayed in love songs that are sung. A lover who is unselfish and wants the best of his other half. He was even willing to let her go. Let her be herself and all that she wants to be. But amidts his unselfish love for the other, he calls her back into his arms and in the process is really hurt by such rejections that he is receiving.

To put it in harsher bible words, something like Jeremiah who marries a prostitute, and he discovers the pain that God feels when the children of Isreal forsakes God Almighty. Like a whore who looks for pleasures beyond that of her lover's.

He is calling, are we responding? Or are we like whores who say we belong to Him but our eye is not single? Is it not written, " If thine eye be single, you body will be full of light."? Or are we double standard Christians who proclaim Christ but do not live for Christ?

We must learn to love the pleasures of what our lover can give us. A Godly thirst and a passionate hunger to be with Him in Christ. Till He becomes our ultimate satisfaction.

This should be our response,

My Confession - Coming humbled before the Cross

Remember when it rained - Such is a desire, such is a passion.

Demands

2006-06-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

What can a servant demand?
Whom can he authoritatively ask favours from?
Why should he be given a chance even to speak?

For one to make demands, he must be in a position to do so. But what justifies such a position?
Perhaps for a politician = great political influence
for a business man = great wealth and success
for an experienced engineer = a mega scale project portfolio
for a doctor = great number of lives he has saved

But what of a servant? Even the head of servants must listen to orders. If given orders from his Master, would he then be given the power to demand of other servants?

I think in this age of liberalism, we have lost sense of servants and masters. Everyone is a master for himself. Liberated he does all he likes. Pleasures of his own for his own glory forgetting a debt he owes his master.
Now that he has forgotten that he is a servant, he responds in his own greatness to demand of others to accomplish his will, but not the will of his master.

I'm questioning the existance of 2 points of power to demand.
One given authoritatively,
Another by selfish ambitions.

Now what of this leadership? As cheif servant, whose will am I accomplishing?
Mine?
Theirs?
or His?

A great man indeed I am not,
By the heel as I run, I'm caught,
To stop and give this a little thought,
Is there worth at all, the fight we've fought?
Was it for our own glory?
Are our offerings to You worthy?
To me, why have You given such?
Me a rusty dime, I don't worth much.
Am I in a position to demand?
If given authority by Your command?
Is there something I don't see?
Oh Lord, you lead me, you lead me.

Surreal Illusions

2006-06-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

Its almost been like a dream to be here. I've been through a lot of tough times and also joyful times, but nonetheless plenty of lifelong experiences to bring with me as I continue this journey.
Come to think of it, it has been almost 6 weeks and there was lots to learn. Learning is indeed a painful experience and at the same time it brings an odd sense of delight when you know that what you've learnt builds character.

Now I'm left with 2 weeks remaining and I've planned out a whole range of activities here to keep my mind, body and soul occupied. Its an adventure, a physical experiential adventure as well as a spiritual exponential adventure. Indeed the tasks at hand seems daunting, but I feel encouraged by the people around me and those far from me. Thank God for close friends.

Would like to stay for some poetry, but time is of the essence.. perhaps another day~!

Inspired, yet limited... God you lead my words

Touch and Go

2006-06-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

Yup, I was back in KL but it was certainly a touch and go thing. But I'm glad to make it back to do some important things here before I continue my 4 weeks back in Gua Musang. I've missed out on alot and I guess its time to catch up on somethings and get myself boosted again.

Came back on Thursday night and it was great cuz mom had made me some soup which I craved for nearly 3 weeks now. It was satisfying and I needed nothing else for dinner.
Went to Ps. Kelly's place and I once again found myself in the midts of Christian Fellowship that edifies one another. Certainly it was a good time of praise and worship as well as sharing. I was daring enough to share about my own seekings and my thoughts on Isaiah 6. I think God really spoke to us that night because the songs that were sung and the things Ps. Noah and Ps. Kelly and also my personal sharing with them was in coherence.

Spent some time with my parents that Thursday night and really missed them. Though we were not allowed much time to be together but I just let my heart pour out on the things I will be doing and what God has put in my heart the past 4 days.

Friday was almost a full day near UM area.. went to the faculty in the morning to check my results .. I think it was pretty good... except for 1 paper... may have to re-sit that one.
Found out who my industrial attachement lecturer was and we're supposed to contact her ASAP.. which we've not done yet..
Went out with Christopher and Lydia for lunch then went to the Ikano power centre and then The Curve
Came home about 5.30pm and wanted to sleep a while but received a call about 6.10pm and rushed back to UM in response to that call.. I'm glad I answered that call back to Uni, I think there was much to be settled that day and I really Thank God that we did clear somethings that should have been clarified earlier. I felt a great sense of release and a certain joy over it, but there's still something missing... perhaps it will remain missing.
Having see Sae-rom and her brother Elmo (cute name~!) and some of the other PKVians again was indeed good for me in a sense that, I've been so socially deprived back in Gua Musang, I just wanted to talk my heart away with them.. I had fun that night~!

Saturday was a busy busy day..
Went out with the Beautiful Gates people and took them to the KLCC for the book fair. It was nice having them around and just helping them to get about, but I didnt really get to socialize with them because most of them spoke only mandarin, I felt so deprived of the ability to communicate... A few PKVians and a few of Mei Si's friends from different universities. Only Johnson and I were the guys from PKV... but we had fun.
After that we went into Suria for a while and tried to get them some food before they left, but it was so crowded there so Mei Si packed KFC for them to take with them to bring back to BG

Mei Si, Yee Voon, Mei Han and I went to watch the Da Vinci Code.. missed the show a little bit cuz we were late .. up till now, I've not eaten nor drank anything.. Yee Voon was merciful enough to spare me some fries and water in the show... haha Thanks alot~!
The show was okay, but I think those who read the book would have gotten a better picture of what went on in that show... Screenplay was average, not much of emotions involved.. Storyline, its the book.. quite true to the book but it lacks some description of what went on behind certain scenes... (they had to cut .. it was freaking 2 and a half hour long)
Towards the end of the show, Yee Voon and I were already starting to doze off.. haha not that it was bad, rather it was quite draggy.
I certainly hope the audiences watching that show would be able to differentiate fact from fiction

came back at about 6.30 and was expected to go out again to Amcorp Mall at 7.15 .. so not much breaks in between and we're rushing off again.
Celebrated Yee Voon's birthday with Goon, Tux, Chong Ee, Gin Li, Fanny, Ginny and Leena.
It was wonderful to see them all together again, though we're missing some of us out, but I really missed them all~!
Went to A&W later to have round 2, then CE showed his masterpiece presentation specially done for Yee Voon .. so touching~!

Well, that's all till now.. I'm sitting in front of the computer blogging... its 1.30am now ... will be leaving tomorrow at 6.30 morning .. haha
Better get some sleep before I do that~!

Lack of time...

2006-05-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

I was going to post a long blog here, but sadly.. haha I've got no time to blog now lehh.. so many things to type in 2 hrs only ... limited cybercafe time la...

well.. perhaps more time to blog the next time..

PKVians are back and ready to perform.. I hope .. haha

I'm well...

Waking up to the aroma of "Waste PO Sludge"

2006-05-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

Okay, this blog was supposed to be a parody to Lydia's blog but I feel it crumble beneath it all~!

There were so many things on my mind to blog about through the 2 weeks but all of a sudden, as I stare at this computer screen in this awfully ventilated cyber cafe, my brains malfunctioned. Further more, its wise to blog first before you check your mails... or other blogs.. or any other things.. Ideas just fade away with the presence of new thoughts~!

Well, first off, PO means Palm Oil .. we call our products CPO here (Crude Palm Oil)
Every morning the routine is such that I will have to collect a sample from the Separator (separates sludge from oil) and do a test... I've gotta bake the Sludge to remove water traces to analyze water content, it smells like rotten cookies~! (well we nicked name it "cookies" already)

Its been laid back here, but in saying so, the phrase "working like a cow/dog" still very well applies .. hehe .. you've gotta toil hard in the day, then its silence at night ... lots of time for yourself.

Ppl here are UNDERPAID~! My sis sits in an office airconditiond for 7 hrs answering phone calls and is paid RM80 a day ... my co workers here gotta work minimum 8 hours and is paid RM 18 basic... some of them work up to 16hrs a day if they are called into overtime~! which happens all the time ... and are paid only at RM3.47 per extra hour~!
well.. I'm not expecting much of a pay.. so its ok for me...

My host (my friends father) was actualy a Christian... we were talking the other night about religions .... It wasn't really much of a discussion, rather a lecture. More it a one sided view on religion.
At first I thought Mr. Michael was a free thinker. He started off with "it doesn't matter what you believe in". He talked alot about his past, he was a Methodist and his grand father was a pastor. Then he talked about his own seekings. He compared many religions and he came to the conclusion that the Quran holds the absolute truth!

This was where the talk got even more interesting. I came to find that he was a rogue Muslim. He believed in the Quran but does not associate himself with other muslims and he is dissapointed with the Muslims today.

I didnt want to say much. Nor was I given a chance to say anything. But I believe that God has opened a door for me to touch a life. It scares me at this point because I'm not even sure what to say.

O'Lord that You will be my guide and guard my heart and mind. That You would lead my lips

One thing he put as a bottomline. To deny the deity of Christ. Because it was written in the Quran. He holds on to its absolutes and is already influenced by it to think from that point.
He said God needs no intercesors.. (as Christ was to him). I've really gotta watch my talk.. perhaps I'll be able to make him think otherwise someday.

I think I'll write what I do best..

Days are early,
and so are the nights,
Waken to natures awesome beauty,
Slumber in Evening's cool delight.
Toil by dawn, surrendred by dusk,
The stench at work, a pure disgust,
Such is the life in a little town,
But with Him around, I do not frown,

Missing the days back in the city,
Where people are always busy, busy, busy.
Dare to say I miss the hustle,
Thinking much about having a waffle.
But now alas, I'm already here,
Maketh me the best of it,
Succumbed to change I was ready to bear,
Learn something new, adjust abit.

In its cloudless gleam,
The moon lit so dim,
No doubt a clear sky,
Is this how the twilights die?
Shattered within in thoughts and desires,
Drown in floods, burnt with fire,
All that's left is an owls night call,
My dear, my dear, do you miss me at all?

My brains are drained, I can write no more,
In the heat of this cybercafe, I can script no further,
Well, most of it was for my heart to pour,
My thoughts, my thoughts, come gather, come gather!

Jesus, my Savior and Lord~! A name beyond names, I will never deny~!
Dear Lord, My love for you a new~!

8 Weeks

2006-05-07T12:23:00.000+08:00

This is it~!

Gua Musang, here I come~!

8 weeks seems to be a long time. So many things are yet uncertain about where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.. Guess there's nothing more but to go there and let God lead me.

One of the biggest thing for me about going there is not because of the Training, but its more spiritual. I'm going there expecting something from God, perhaps in its silence and serenity, I'll find my self truely escaped from the "systems" that govern society in the big cities. Without such a hold on me, perhaps... just hopefully perhaps, I may truely discover my identity in Him.
Lord I'm looking for a new revelation of You~!

---

Separate ways,

For alot of my friends, PKVians or Ex-Classmates, we'll be away for this whole semester break.. I miss my ex-class mates cuz this is about the only time in the year that we can really get together before another year begins.. for the PKVians, I'm so used to seeing them all the time, not seeing them is... different.

I'm blessed, for today I was able to see someone go. I wasn't much of a Good Bye, no long Sayo-naras or lenghty waves.. but to see her off was to me a reminder of the things which are ahead of me and that each of us also has our own responsibilities.That's reality I guess... Though, I know I'll miss her much.

---

Last Words

This may be my last blog entry before I leave for the 8 weeks. May not be able to continue to blog like this once I'm there. Not sure If there'd be any convenient access to the internet.

May God be with all of us and may this Holidays/Training/Coursework/Special Semester... be a fruitful one~! Commit it to the Lord, have Him in your thoughts daily~!
Seek and Ye shall find~!

Chef-mastery

2006-05-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

This old fasion rice cooker was a gift from my grand mother for my parents wedding. It has served us, fed me to who I am today. Without which I would not have tasted life as it is been and will be for me.
I can't say thank you to a pot, but I'm thankful for the riches of His providance and for those who took care of me thus far (my parents).

It is also partialy it's (the green thing up there) fault that because of "it", many of my friends know me as a "rice basket" a.k.a "Fan Thung" (cina speaking)
I love rice.. I cant go a day without eating rice.. not satisfied till I get enough of it before the day ends.. its heaven to have nasi lemak every morning for breakfast .. (I actualy dont mind)

Got to really learn how to cook these days...
Going to Gua Musang without such a skill is a handicap
Gotta befriend some of the locals there and ask them to teach me their traditional ways of cooking ... I'm sure they make really nice food there...

I was in Borders today with Amy and Macy ... stumbbled upon a few cook books... one by Anthony Bourdain.. then it dawned on me.. "Hey, dont leave the kitchen to the Girls~!"
Gotta survive there also and if I and Tux dont learn to really cook.. we're not gonna eat Nasi Kandar for 8 weeks straight (though rice larr.. but every meal .. a bit too much liow lor)

I tried cooking today... wont tell what I cooked... cheated a lil la.. Dad helped wan... my great teacher now...

Realized cooking is much like chemistry, know your ingredients, know what you want to "synthesize", follow procedure, a hint of spicy creativity .. some minor "data" adjustments ..(haha), control temperature, observe timing, at the end of it all settle it all down and make it look beautiful...

That's what I call cooking-chemistry..

It is finished

2006-05-02T20:33:00.000+08:00

Bloggy bloggy~! .. how have you been?
For long I've ignored your little window,
So much I've touched and seen,
My little brain my biggest memory theft,
Tonight I'll word what's left,
Only as fragment historical shadows.

It all started with Organic Chem 2,
then came Maths Asas next in que,
Industrial Chemistry followed suit,
Gave me a few days break but still enroute,
Then Analytical Chemistry came to haunt,
That wasnt the end of the daunt~!
Polymer took the Best of me today~!
(Actualy cuz I only gave 1 and half day to study lar)
Right now I can finaly shout "HooRay~!!!"

Actualy this blog wasnt made to rhyme,
but words came from time to time,
know not when, know not why?
Perhaps its just a hearts cry?

Though my mind feels liberated,
My heart and soul remains captivated.
Prisoner of my own words,
Yet a prisoner gladly be.

Hmm but going to Gua Musang soon already, kinda feel uneasy about the whole thing, being away for so long and all that~! I'll certainly miss the ppl here.
Seems like there is so much to prepare but unsure of what to bring.
So many things would be left here to be done but I wont be around, PKV activities still in mind.
What to expect? Who is my lecturer taking care of me? What must be done before I go?
Registration also not open for me yet??

----

Checked out from college today~!
No longer staying in 4th liow~!
Its the end of my college life~!
Now there's a problem~!
Where am I going to stay~?!
(At this point... some ppl will say that I deserved it... "ha.. didnt find earlier lor..")

----

Ivy~! Are you coming back??~!!!
Missed you so much lerr~!
Hope to see you on Zacky's Birthday...
What are you gonna get ur lil bro?

----

Aitez~! this concludes the journey of year 2,
Lots of Red, Greens and Blue,
Many a test, plenty of trails,
Walked for miles and miles,
New faces came and gone,
Perhaps we'll meet later on,
Learning a new lesson,
To being a better person,
Perhaps to love as well,
or in love, dwell?
Leadership in humility?
May You always humble me.
Laugh and Play,
Fast and Pray,
In gratefulness, Thank You!
Without You dear Father, I know not how to pull through~!

Fruitful Week

2006-04-07T01:52:00.000+08:00

I think when they say "Man perform better under pressure", there is alot of truth in that statement.

This week has certainly been one of the longest week in this semester. Thought its just Thursday now.. it felt like its been a well over a week since I came back from church on Sunday.
I had so many datelines piling this week and there were so many things left undone. Assignments were done till the wee hours of the morning

Sunday night had to go to UM at night for a Group Discussion for my Spoken English for Professional course .. before that it was good that I visited Jeff first at the hospital.

There was a test on Monday so had to study (Dont ask me for the results)

Then the completion of the Flory temperature due Tuesday.. I've learnt alot from that

Had Tuesday to do Agenda for committee meeting also, apologize for the delay (should be prepared well over a week in advanced, n Thanks Cheffy for sending it out for me.. no internet access in college)

Wednesday was lab reports day. I cant believe I actualy wrote 4 reports in a day~! Altogether was 7 reports to had up. On Wed night after Committee Meeting, had to finish up my tutorial for Polymer

Thursday morning had to do another Tutorial for Polymer (Different Lecturer), preparing for the discussion and the discussion was done .. I would say.. it was quite ok lar...

Today~!... I had a break with Razif at the Science Fac Cafe cuz class was canceled .. was thinking that someone else would accompany me .. but.. wasnt free..

Had dinner with Mom and Dad.. KL was really really Jammed.. took them almost 2 hours in the car to get to me.

Went out for a mid-night drive with Ikmal.. sending his sister to IJN .. he just needed a company... its nice to catch up with friends.

Tomorrow morning I'll be in MVEC promoting MAA insurance with MeL*, Macy and Steph .. one more friend I think... 11am till 8pm

Well this weekend, I foresee myself studying Organic at the same time struggle to finish my ISE assignment .. which I've not touched yet.

I personaly think I've achieved more that my whole semester put together in a weel. The next few weeks will be that way.. pushing myself to study.. I really need to now.

Lord, I give thanks to you,
For this semester you have been true,
Never giving me more than I could chew,
You lift me up whenever I felt blue.

Endings usualy come bitter sweet,
Through this sem, it came bit by bit,
At times, thrown into ecstacy,
A jolt of pain, plunges into agony.

But through it all You were there,
One so sure, You always care,
Such beauty and so much Love,
Such passion that comes from above!
Such is the way, teach me dear Lord,
To love like you did, Unconditional, without a cord.

7 Viruses, 6 Birthdays, 1 marriage proposal and an accident

2006-04-01T12:02:00.000+08:00

Its been a wild wild week~!
Yesterday night couldnt get enough sleep
But today bright as can be
My eyes are clear, but still quite lazy.

UM computers are infected with Brontox Virus.
So far I've come to know 7 ppl who were already infected. Me, Tux, Victor, Clara, Keat Leong, and 2 juniors in college.
So everyone using the computers in UM.. Beware~!
It seems that they lurk into your computer via thumbdrive.. and if you are not careful what you open in your thumbdrive you'll get it. Its best you have AVG to protect your PC from it because to date, the other Mega Antivirus companies (McAfee, PCcillin, Norton, Sophos) cant trace this virus.
Use AVG to scan for the virus in your Thumbdrive

6 Birthdays this week and I've celebrated 4 of them...
Happy Birthday again to:

Christopher Choong (Bra-Boy)
Adelene Joyce Williams
Macy, Law Mei Si
Hosanna Chung
Lee Mun Yee
Fui Yen (Singapore)

Its always great to have friends to celebrate with you on your Birthday~!

Fui Yen got more that she asked for this years Birthday...
Melvin finaly proposed to Fui Yen in marriage .. (haha received news from Ivy)

There were candles, violin player and a lovely night sky... so romantic ..(but got a gang of girls there also lar who felt awkward after they surprised her)

Gotta ask Ivy to tell u this tale cuz I'm a second degree witness .. haha

It was terrifying to receive news that my senior had met with an accident.

It was a tuesday afternoon that I heard from Tuxoon that Jeffrey was hit by a car.
I wasnt sure yet what had happened so I was trying to get some info from Erica. They were there visiting him. On that day itself, Jeff underwent surgery.. they had to screw his fractured bones together again.. (when I heard this I knew how serious this was)

I've already spoken to Jeff and as always, I still find him very positive about the circumstances
He told me his heroic tale on the phone.. haha (ok.. the heroic part was added by me.. he humbly denied it)
His pregnant colleague was crossing the street when suddnely she fell.. Jeff saw her falling and wanted to turn back and help her... when he walked onto the street, a Cefiro came and crashed into him, threw him from the first lane to the 3rd lane ... next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.
It wasnt much of a display of the act of heroism .. but the heroic heart that this man has that made that difference. I salute him for that~!

I'd best be leaving now.. gotta go to the dentist today.. got a chipped tooth that I gotta repair .. :P
Dont get funny Ideas and ask me to show it to you.. haha

Man's Best Friend

2006-03-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

Three months ago, a stranger came and took shelter at my home. He was shivering, hungry and tired. Lost and alone with no where to go because the place he called home was destroyed by yellow giants that breathed dark smoke through their noses.
Now, he is no stranger anymore, but a friend. But it is today that it was his last day being with us, for today he was taken away.

I will tell you a tale of a creature that changed our perception on how we look at things. A gentleman, loyal friend and a survivor of odds. His (or rather "its") name is Buddy.

Late last year, Buddy came and sought refuge at my house porch from the December rain. At the back of the hill that I'm staying near, there were lots of new development going on and I think that must have caused it to move out to seek refuge among us humans. We we're curious why this dog never left after the rain. We decided to leave it alone and perhaps it will leave later.
The next morning, we saw this lean golden brown dog still sleeping under the hood of the car, perhaps he finds it warm under the engine. Again we left it alone and thought it would leave.

Days go by and still this dog refused to take its leave and continued to sleep at the same spot. Whenever we walked out of the door, it would be alerted and will make way for us to walk past him so as to not obstruct our coming and going. (Such gentleman -- or rather gentledog)

Christmas came and Ivy came back from Singapore and learnt of this dog that was staying outside our porch. It never bothered us so we didnt think of forcing it to leave.. but mom actualy didnt like pets. Ivy started to call it "Buddy", after that we all also started to address him as "Buddy". So that was how "Doggy" got its name "Buddy"

As days went by, it became much closer to family. I wasnt around much as I was in UM during the weekdays, but it seems that he recognises me. Dad began feeding it, mom didnt wasnt really bothered about the dog because he always avoided us so as not to obstruct our activities. When mom goes out to dry the clothes, he will move aside and watch her hang up the wet clothes in the sun. He would also walk beside us when we go down the street just as close company.

There were many nights especialy in February, I would just sit out in the moonlight in the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep but he was there. I began to move closer to him and he would let me pet his head. I've been in really close proximity and he would actualy move closer. A true friend even in the late hours.

I would begin to whisper my prayers to God and he would sit by me to listen. I dont know if he understands anything at all (well I doubt it anyway) but his presence being so close makes me feel that there is a friend close by. At times like these I would gaze into its eyes and wonder, if there is a soul in such a creature. Meek and Loyal, a true friend who sits quietly beside you and listens to what you say.

I wonder do "All dogs go to heaven"??

Late February, Buddy got involved in an accident. He was hit by a truck while it was resting in the middle of the street. His fore-right limb was crushed and he could not walk properly after that. Thankfully he was spared of his life, but we got a little worried because his wounds were open and there was no way that we could assist him because we were afraid to go near him. I've tried to draw closer to him after that but he would evade me. Perhaps he thought that it would trouble us more to care for him. So for the rest of the days Buddy grew thinner because it couldnt move much and spent most of the time resting behind our cars.

Today, a day to be remembered. It was the day we last see Buddy. The dog catchers came and took him away. Just when Buddy was getting better, just when he was almost fully recovered from his open wounds (though he may never walk again). Although handicapped, Buddy did put up a great struggle from 5 men who poised to capture him ... dead or alive. It was a struggle between life and death, decides if he would continue to live here or die tonight.

There is so much more I want to talk about Buddy.
He's changed my way of looking at animals
He's changed my mothers affections towards pets/pests
He's drawn out a deep sense of care for animals from my dad
He's became my lil brother's "first pet"

Good friend, I will surely miss you~!

-in rememberance of Buddy-
24th March 2006

Moving on

2006-03-17T03:44:00.000+08:00

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,Phillipians 3:13 (ASV)

There are things in life that you cannot hold back in memories for too long without letting go and moving on. There comes a time where a decision has to be made to make progress,

Your regrets, your remorse. Give them to Me, because you cannot live with them.

All seems like foolishness, but may it pass, may it pass

Sharp Words

2006-03-07T09:14:00.000+08:00

Words uttered can never be taken back
Words that cut opens new wounds
Like a man shredding a feather pillow and trying to pickup the feathers again in the streets
I'm sorry I had to say those things
I'm sorry you had to hear them from me

Does Transparency Pay?

Lord, u lead and u reign

Gua Musang

2006-03-06T00:52:00.000+08:00

That's where I'll be going soon~! (with Soon) .. haha sorry for the pun

I've just got off an interview with Mr Micheal .. or uncle Mike .. nice man he is, got lots to share about his past experiences. I think from what he says, in taking us, he will expect much out of us because this is a infant growing organization.. so lots of research and self-understanding is much needed to improve efficacy of plant operation. I think there will be a few traits that we may have to learn at first but I think when we get the hang of it, we will have to start off with the real reasons we are placed there... to do research

It looks like a long way from home, but I guess its time to step out of the comfort zones! Life is going to be harder there, perhaps it will push me from where I am now further to be able to withstand the pressures of the working world in future... I realized I can't be stuck in academics all my life... I think that's where most students fear most.. transition from student to a full working adult~!

I'm comforted much knowing that my God is with me all the way and that he has provided for me so as to take up such a challenge. I'm ready for it... perhaps the few weeks of isolation from modernity would help me lear a thing or two .. and maybe with the less distractions I may get to know Him more and more~!

I know I'll certainly miss all my friends for those long weeks, surely we would be dying to meet one another after the long semesters and now the holidays ... I guess this year I may not see some of them back in KL~! *Sigh*

I've made a decision, I'm sticking with it.. so don't ask me again "why Kelantan?". Its a challenge I want to take up, and its a challenge I'll get~!

"God be with me!" --- oh yeah .. it was good that it rained here today too~! Thank God~!

Heavenly Beauty

2006-03-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

As I gaze into the cloudless sky,
Countless stars, way up high,
The crescent moon, smiling west,
A joyful night, a glee celest.
Such was the clarity,
in a wide spaced beauty,
yet such was also the darkness,
not being able to see beyond us.

Much like what's deep inside,
Sitting between a great divide,
Beyond that beauty, is there no vision,
No focus, no goal, just driven by passion,
Fear is birthed by her mother, Uncertainty,
What lies beyond that beauty?
What waits for me?
In the deep darkness, I cannot see,
Until I'm there, will I also find beauty?
Perhaps beauty in another way,
But for now I'll live from day-to-day.

Freedom

2006-03-04T02:24:00.000+08:00

Its a thousand words

Coded Language

2006-03-01T03:07:00.000+08:00

Can one learn to truely understand another?
Can one know exactly what the other person is saying?
Can one read a person's body language and tell what the other is hinting?
Can one see between the lines of what the other is really writting about?
Can one understand why was something said or written by another?
Can one feel how the other person feels in all of his/her expressions?
Can one learn to truely understand another?

I've come to a point where I find myself unable to really listen.

Are you telling me something?
Are you trying to prove a point?
Are you educating me?
Or are you just testing me?

Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. - Pearl Buck -

Questionable Quotes

Kids

2006-02-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

When I say Kids, I don't mean young goats. Rather the implications of young humans taking on the character of little goats~! (So bad a caretaker)
Its all about the way you talk to them sometimes. Gotta be firm ut not too pushy, I'm trying to strike a balance here now..

Yes, I'm stuck with 3 kids for 3 days cuz my parents went to Bangkok with my neighbours on a weekend holiday. So its my turn to be the "babysitter" for the few days (which I gladly agreed at first, I think they well deserve this break).

I was back in time before they got home from school, so 1 point for me! (YaY!)

Took them out to McDonalds for lunch (their request .. so thought I'd make a good impression)

Let them watch TV and play a little bit while I did my work in the evening.

Had to rush out to buy groceries cuz I found out the cupboards were empty (I promised them pasta tonight)

Made "nice" pasta for them, so another point for me ( though they didn't finish em all up)

Pushed them so hard to get them to be ready for tuition. (They were PLANNING to be late!!!)

Got them just in time for tuition, so another point for me (Yippie! Getting good at this)

Had some personal time while they were away.. and watched a super clear DVD of Oliver Twist (Good Show, I liked the emotions and the psychology of it)

Picked them up from tuition perfect timing (though it disrupted my show... half a point maybe?)

Tried to push them to wash up and go to bed, this was tough. Had to really know how to talk to them properly.

Went out with my friends while they were watching TV about 11pm (Bad babysitter, lepaking -- minus 1 point)

Came back aout 12.30 to find them still glued to the Dumb-Black-Box (TV) Bad Bad babysitter -- minus the half point!!

Finally they're asleep (about 12.45am)

Well lots to do again tomorrow, gonna have to feed them, wash clothes, send them to tuitions, bring them out for some fun, and clean up after them...
Busy busy day.. but not with my own work.. haha

I think I'm just not ready yet for parenting.
(I'm amazed how MeL* keeps that balance)

Silent as it is

2006-02-20T12:36:00.000+08:00

The fall of a petal,
A chilling cold breeze,
So swift yet gentle,
Silent as it is

The sun’s bright awakening,
Time and again from the east,
The glow of a tranquil evening,
Silent as it is.

Whisper, whisper,
In the thick pale mist,
No one hears her,
Silent as it is.

Broken, shaken,
Her silence stolen,
Unnoticeably abrupt,
Discreetly interrupt,
The earth starts shifting,
The tides start rolling,
The sea turns rough,
Shorelines engulfed,
Mayhem, Destruction,
Misery, Devastation.

Be Quiet, Be Still,
Once again all at peace,
May they then gradually heal,
Silent as it is.

A poem I've written over a year ago, just wanted it to be in my blog again in reflection of the Tsunami 2004

Conversations in my head

2006-02-19T12:56:00.000+08:00

Circumstances ground begins tough to swallow,
For what more ahead even harder to follow,
I fear what lies within is really hollow,
And not knowing what will become of tomorrow.
Where lie thee in my need?
Why do you leave me bleed?
Fear birthed amidts uncertainty,
Drives me to the the brim of sanity.

Can you not Follow??

What drownth ye in all thy sorrow?
Wherst from this spirit ye borrow?
Have thou not seen I have cleansed thy feet?
Do the same, May this act repeat.
Fore bareht ye the task ahead,
Set off the journey, I'll make it straight
Toil ye must in the heat of noon day,
But come the evening, gather to pray.

I have you in certainty!
Come follow me!

Sorry

2006-02-13T02:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes sorry isn't enough
Sorry has to come with repentance
Sorry has to seal that action from repetition
Sorry has to have a heart felt grieve
Sorry is but a step in the remission of guilt

I come O Lord thankful of your Grace,
In guilt O God I've hidden from your face,
Ensure me Lord once again,
My heart, my mind in tarnish taint,
Lift me up so I may not faint,
I'll walk with you, in your Grace remain.

"Its hard to say I'm sorry" - Chicago

Relativism

2006-02-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

Compass of extremes,

Ps. Sivin Kit just gave us a short exposition about "Relativism ... and beyond".
I have learnt a great deal about Relativism these 2 weeks and about how people think based upon their precepts and fore-knowledge. I'm beginning to see how many people look at things influenced by their cultural, religious and education backgrounds, and the funny thing is, they dont even know it~!

What mattered to me wasn't about either being a Relativist or an Absolutist. It was about seeing Christ beyond what these 2 terms meant. For me no compass of extremes can envelop the nature of God. A compass of extremes is infact a limited measure.
Can there be infinite absolutes?
Can there be infinite relativism?
Like how Ps Sivin Kit put it, if a man says that he holds ONLY to relativism, does he already not express the absolute element when he says ONLY? Certainly a direct contradiction. So then can we say that being absolute is the way every man should hold on to? The person will also holds himself back and say, "Depending on the circumstances". (a common safety net)
But for us Christians, its BEYOND all that.

Something I couldn't really agree with Ps. Sivin was that, he said that the Church points to the truth. I would say to an extent that this is true, provided the Church as it is today are in some kind of unification of understanding of truth.

-- To be Continued --

12th Feb 2006

Thanks Ps Sivin on that comment and for that HUGE angpow~! (Didn't really get to read the whole thing)

True Truth (if I may use such a term) is Absolute! God is Absolute! Does the church know True Truth? It just bothers me sometimes to see inconsistancy among the churches today. Perhaps this inconsistency has already begun even in the days of the apostles. It was eveident that in Paul's days, the churches in Corinth and Ephasus were having problems of their own adopting the Christian doctrine in their multifaceted cultural background.

Today, Christians also have different stands of alcoholism and gay rights. What does the True Truth really say about it?

Now back to something I can agree with Ps Sivin is that, he mentioned that the Church does not claim to have the Truth, merely a signpost to indicate the location of the truth. While he was sharing this, a picture came to me. I wish to draw it out here, maybe in another post.

This was how it is to be explained.

At the top was the Church, out of the Church was pointing to many-many directions, but there was one arrow that points down somewhere. This arrow was unique, it can't be moved, it cant be changed, it seems almost like the anchorage of the Church. No matter where the Church moves, the arrow points it down.

Gradualy the Church is drawn towards the direction of where the arrow is pointing. As it moves closer, all the other arrows that point outwards seem to just fade away .. or combines itself with the arrow pointing downwards, they didnt matter anymore.
One day the Church of Jesus Christ will, by His grace, be brought to the knowledge of True Truth and all that is around that seems to matter so much at this point of time will make no sense when we are there.

Well, as long as a Church fully understands their existance here on earth and puts God as a point of referance, I would call it a reliable sign post.

Missing Donkey

2006-01-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry Steven, this is the last time I'm tying your name to Donkey.

I'm glad I could make it for such a gathering. A gathering to say goodbye, but at the same time, much felt emotions of missing someone. I can see among the seniors that they really will miss a friend, someone whom they have spent so much time together, doing lots of silly stuff together at the same time having meaningful conversations together.

I thank God I've came to know of such a friend. He has been a great influence (good or bad .. u decide). But one thing is for sure, his life challenged me to think, challenged me to step out, challenged me to look ahead, challenged me to be different if I have to.

I wish you all the Best at all you do~!
Let God lead your life~!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

(Proverbs 3 : 5 & 6)

Loving God

2006-01-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

It is 2am and certainly a wonderful night. As I look up into the heavens, I see a clear and brightly litted sky with shimmering stars and a faded moon glow.
A peaceful sight to behold. Peace, peace...
I reaffirmed my surrender to Him once again.

Lately there was a young hound who finds refuge at my house's porch. A shaky character, I suspect its from the jungle behind my neighbourhood. Lean, young and handsome, yet it is afraid of human. Today I tried to befriend it by sitting with it for quite a while. He began to draw closer to me and licked me, raised its paws and greeted my waiting hand. For the first time I felt we connected. I'm trying to earn its trust.

Then a thought came to me, many wouldn't approach a stray dog, let alone touch it. For those who have allergies or a phobia, thats another story. But I guess, if we can't even learn to love a creature as such, though not well groomed, shabby, untrained, maybe infected with disease.

How are we to love those people out there who are considered outcasts?

I don't mean to equate them or put them lower than dogs. But its the same kind of love that we all share. Are we helping because its a moral obligation as a society, or part of humanity? Are we there to show care just because someone else asked us to do it? Are we just trying to impress others with our pseudo-sympathy?

By no means so, we should love as the Lord loveth, not as something we have or ought to do, but a natural compassion and a genuine kindness. Truthfully I am struggling. Not that I don't care enough, I just cannot love the unlovable the way the Lord wants me to love.

I'm moved by how much love from people like Ps. Hsia and Ms. Chong Kar Yi has for the disabled. And to think that there are many out there who are in need of special care. Not forgetting those who are out in the rural areas. Can I love that much? Love enough to take their afflictions as my own? Enough to share their pains? Enough even just to understand the things they go through? What is this kind of Love?

Lord teach me to Love.
Unconditionally,
Truthfully,
Passionately,
Beautifully.

A year ago

2006-01-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

This is what I wrote in my friendster a year ago on my 20th Birthday. I dont want to loose it online because I want to write a new one to replace what was on my profile. I think keeping one copy here would be a safe place to keep it on the net.
Now that I'm 21, I guess its time to write a new one.

A Scream pierced Silence like Paper with a Knife,
Seconds before a new born breathed life.
A Scream from a new mother like never before,
Late one night on November 1984.

Nurses took and bathed the child,
Ever so tenderly, ever so mild.
The Doctor said, "He needs special attention,
He's suffocated with severe Mal-Nutrition."

Nevertheless, hard times pulled through.
Over weeks and months, better he grew.
Now 20 years later he's drastically changed,
Now thankful to God for what he became.

My 20th Birthday most meaningful to me,
I've learnt to treasure my friends and family.
Also the second chance in life God graciously given,
Otherwise you'll all know me only in heaven!

I would thank my good friends one by one,
But this poem is too hurriedly done,
If I get the chance, I'll shake your hand,
and say, "Thank you for showing me what it means to be a friend".

Lastly I'd say a prayer just to end,
A message to Heaven now I want to send.

Thank You Lord For all You've done,
You've made me who you wanted me to become.
Use me Lord in all I can possibly do,
I live this life only to serve You~!
Amen~!

Looking back into this piece of work... I've found much errors... haha
But I love to write, I'll keep writting

Night Flares

2006-01-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Its the first Blog entry for the New Year.

These nights aren't giving me a chance to sleep tightly. Most occuring obscure thoughts keep my mind awake. I can't seem to put a pin on where my mind is wandering off to. So many things flash through in and out. It sometimes tingle my emotions, sometimes they just depress my heart, yet some pains me to think about them.

Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Perhaps something I've never learnt to listen or pay attention to. I'm praying much these days, not sure why, I mean I ought to all the time anyway, but it seems to me that now I have a compelling drive to start seeking. He's got my attention now anyway.

Though the clouds hover,

Though they appear lower,

Much is the moon light,

Still reflecting bright,
Even amidst the tears of the skies,
Its glow never dies,
Much like the thoughts within,
My concentration wearing thin,
Though my mind is tired,
And should have long retired,
These thoughts keep haunting,
No idea why they keep coming,
Have to start putting them together,
To something I can decipher,
I'm sure they mean something,
Until then they'll keep flaring.
Oh God what are you telling?
Must I still wait for what is coming?
Is there a deeper calling?
Or is my mind just failing?
Sorry, I lack understanding.
All this seems so confusing.

-A Peace of my Thoughts-

en.Zyme

2005-12-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

The longest conference I've ever had, having spent 6 days of disengagement with the rest of the world and being stuck there with the same almost 500 people. It was certainly an amazing eyeopening experience. The best thing is that we are all one in the Body of Christ and it strangely felt like home.

God's working in the conference did something in me that helped me change my worldview on certain things. There was much to be learnt and some of which that lingered in my mind were;

That God assured me that I am His son~!
Worship is not merely an act of singing praises unto Him, its a lifestyle~!
There is a battle taking place in the spirit, therefore Pray~!
God uses even the insignificant people to do His purposes
Living selflessly, doing His will instead of our own
Learn to be spiritualy discipline by earnestly seeking Him
Selah - Don't keep walking, take a stop
Reflections - take time to recollect
Be Fruitful and Multiply

On the 2nd Night of the conference, God really had to deal with me. My partiality in spirit had to be smitten. I was selfish to live the way that I am. My ambitions were not glorifying to Him. I knew that for a long time but I've never really let go. I've always had this picture of a man standing one foot in the shadows and the other in the light. I've never budged from that position for quite a while now.

They say there comes a time when a man learns to die to himself and never again to live for his own. To take up the cross and to follow his Master, doing His will and not of our own. I knew I had to Die~! Die the Death of my selfishness and my humanistic desire to live. The time came when I asked Him to pin me to the wall, let me not move so that He may deal with me. I knew my flesh would struggle from giving up my life~! But I had to Die~!

Giving up my life to Him was never easy. Till today I still need His gracious workings to deal with my life for I know that the enemy has spotted me, I believe that they are threatened by my decision to follow Him. I've came to realize that the days ahead of me will not be quiet. The Trumpets will sound and the Battlecry will roar - it is War~!

I rise to Your call at daybreak
A pale blue glaze the heavens make
I lift may hands in morning praise
I thank You again for Your amazing Grace

I leave my shelter and into the field
Indeed the seeds were of plenty yield
I take to arms my laden equipment
And with it a frothy instrument

Towards the sun my back would face
My shoulders broil in the fiery blaze
To the still well I moved to be
There You draw water, a drink for me

For hours toil made heaps of grain
Still for me it is none to gain
Yet a sight to joy despite the pain
Because alone it's You I long to remain

As dusk settles to mark the day end
I start to reflect on how it began
In Your bosom may I truely rest
To be close to Father, the sweetest caress

If there be among you who are reading this, please keep me in prayer at this time. I need the upholding of my fellow brothers and sisters so I may keep steadfast to my calling.

Testing

2005-10-29T01:36:00.000+08:00

I'm Blogging through my PDA!

Revolutionary ain't it?

Walk

2005-10-28T17:29:00.000+08:00

I went for a Jog yesterday evening, then after a while it turned into a walk.
It was quite lovely, the clouds were heavy above, windy cool air, it was fresh~!

But there were many things in life to reflect on, mostly because I was looking back into the days when I spent most of my childhood playing in these fields and walking these lanes. It was certainly a path down memory lane once again.

To see a mother in her 50s walking with her all grown up daughter,
A father holding 2 of his children's hands and walking together,
A grand father riding on a motor cycle with his grand son,
To see the kids playing soccer in the field,
Another bunch of them climing giant rocks,
A few of them playing badminton,
To (well... at least tried) climb a tree I've climbed as a kid,
Walk up the little hill behind my house,
Watch the sun go down on Klang Valley.

I've almost forgotten to go slow in life, I guess there are days to rediscover what you've discovered as a kid, suprisingly we'll learn to see things in a new perspective as we gather more experiences then look back and see how far we've come. Its also about remembering where we came from

Miss USA (Texas 2004) : Never forget where you came from~!

Dice

2005-10-24T02:12:00.000+08:00

I feel like a little dice,
Can't say that it is nice,
Dont like being tossed around,
Just wanna be at one place where I can be found,
Play with me and you'll see results,
Perhaps you'll start to adore,
Perhaps you thought there should be more,
But its all I can offer,
Six is my highest number,
Fair be it to see my demise,
Would you then find another dice?

Cold

2005-10-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

Its been Icy cold these days. The reason is because of the rain that has been pouring non stop since yesterday. It made us put a hold down on our Wednesday Jog, postponed. Not sure until when.
Its even a torture to take a bath now. The water freezing cold I dare not touch~! That's why I have yet to take my bath later, not even sure if I'll do. :P (Stinkz)

But somehow the rain brings in some ways, inspirations. It is days when my brain is cooled down (refreshed in some ways) I feel mentaly alive~! Probably because of the O2

Its the season again,

Down pours the rain,

A cheerful dance on my window panes,

Little rivers running down slopy lanes.

Cheerful sounds of falling water,

Mutes the sounds of city clatter,

Drips the sound of a leaking gutter,

As the steady rhythm go "pitter-patter".

A get away from the heat of September,

A pleasant cool this mid-October,

Prepares the mind for exams in November,

So we can all play when begins December.

I thank God for the decent weather,

My thoughts again I begin to gather,

Time to think about what really matters,

And more of my future endeavours.

Have a Lovely rainy season My Friends~!

Away

2005-10-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

Wierd~!?

I found myself going to Joanne's farewell and yet I've hardly got to know her. Only tonight I knew there was "something" going on between her and David ... hehe (I may be wrong ... but it seems that way just now)

But I guess seeing her going away seems to remind me how much Home meant to me.
My dad, my mom, my sister, my brother.
A place where I really know who I am and where I came from.
A place where there will be people who will accept me for whoever I am and who I am to become.
A place where I find my own solitary confinement
A place to be tested and burned
A place to be at rest
A place where I call Home

Burdened yet Inspired~!

2005-10-09T21:49:00.000+08:00

I guess inspirations come when it is least expected~!
But I've learnt also not to write only when I feel inspired, rather write what I feel at this point about something. I'll have an article (a story rather) coming up on my blog soon :P

Its been about a week I've been very heavy ladened~! I felt very confused about all that has been going on, I've been asked about many things and one of it was to be PKV's Pres. for the next term ( a position I'd gladly take but poised to put myself in a difficult situation). Even now I'm not sure what others are thinking of me...

what kinda expectations? or unexpected?
who do they think I am? or I'm not?
what do they think I can do? or cant do~!?

I feel the Eyes are Looking~!
I'm stage fright~!
Spot-light shy~!
.... or Am I Delusioned to believe so?

Lord I just wanna leave it all to You~!

Beating the Clock

2005-09-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

Its beating the Clock again and again for me these few days.
Today I've clocked in and out about 7 hours spent on finishing up my assignment, wasn't easy but I did take a few breaks here and there

I've still got a tutorial to finish by Monday yet I may not have the sufficient time to do so as I will be performing for 4th college in acoustics tonight. Guess I'd better get some sleep before I collapse

Good Night Everyone~!

A week of Learning

2005-09-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

~ Phewh ~!

Its been a whole week full of learning~! And one thing I've learnt very well this week and a half... is to find peace in my God~!

Even when the holidays started, I was already beginning to feel weary. So many things on my mind that I just couldn't put off. Assignments, Tutorials, Exams, Debates and AWN. I was beginning to feel so heavy inside, tired physicaly, mentaly and emotionaly. Didn't know where to run and hide~!

Monday 5th September took the whole day researching for my assignment number one... was busy in and out.. rested a lil ... then worked all the way till late night ..... I think it was 3 am

Tuesday 6th September during the one week holiday, I was rushing to get my assignment done before AWN so I could enjoy the camp (So I thought) I woke up in horror to find myself SICK~! Had fever and my nose was Running all over the place~! ((Did anyone see my nose?)) " Good Ness~~~!!" Thougt I, "how on earth am I to concentrate??"

Thursday 8th September went to the library early in the morning to look for my assignment details... then went for the DEBATES~! It was 2 stressful sessions and so much of researching .... I told them I can't come for Debate practice from Friday till Sunday because I had a Camp... They said they wanna DROP me from the team~! I was so lett down~! Plus Point to DEPRESSION~!

Healing @ AWN

But it all came to an end when I DECIDED not to FEEL the way I was feeling... and the day came for AWN

Friday 9th September had breakfast myself while waiting for ApEK with his Chun CAR ... Drove to Janda Baik while feeling Tired and Lousy ...but I thought to myself... I'll need to be enthusiastic~! No more feeling the way I felt... I left all my thoughts of assignments at home~! I was FREE...~!

Throught the CAMP I've learnt so much~! Some of them were,

- To let go and let God

- To find Refuge in Him

- Killing chicken is NOT easy

- Somewhat small fry Heroism

- Legacy Live (Leaving footprints)

- You are what you Think you are

I enjoyed myself at AWN and I went there without a hint of regret~!

Back on Schedule

Throughout the week there were many important lessons I was learning and God was really speaking to me. To re-enforce what I've learnt in AWN, He cornered me by making the messages SO CLEAR~!

Tuesday 13th Septmeber. I was doing my morning devotion and I read something from Spurgeon .. (Psalms 84:6) ... I was about men who passed though a valley of weeping and made fountains on the way ...

This further made it clear to me to Leave a Legacy ... Spurgeon commented that travellers in the wilderness naturaly feel safer when they are following a path were there were still foot prints left on the ground~! I felt the NEED to shine the light to my Juniors~! "Oh .. precious ye of generations to be"

That night itself I learnt lesson2 ... at Bible study ... to have the Peace of Christ ... that pretty much confirms what I MUST learn~! To just rely on God and amidst times of distress, GO TO HIM ... he is ever LOVING~!

The later days I found myself investing into the lives of my juniors ...

Wednesday I went for a Jog with Adelene and Adele ... and just to free ourselves and go for a good workout was delightful.

Thursday I was asked to sing for our college Tanglung fest and I got to know some of the Junior Guys from my block and I started speaking to them in Mandarin... (You all know how weak my Mandarin is)and this could be a good start for me to touch their lives. I even met a girl from my college who was also from Victoria Ins.

Friday after BE we were out with Kenneth and we just shared our stories back in Victoria Ins .. and I thought to myself... hey.. I'd better start impacting my VI juniors~! (Alicia for example)

After BE, one of my juniors came up to my room and shared all his troubles he had for the past 2 weeks, it was good just to hear him out and just re-enforce God's control over his life again... and that he need not fear what's ahead... even though they look so grim.

That night It was nice to meet Anna again and Senorita at the BMCG ... it encourages me to see them come

That's about all I want to share for today .. I need to get some sleep now... I've forgone 2 hours of sleep just to be online to write my REFLECTIONS on the 2 weeks that has passed...

** I've really been DROPPED from the NHSD competition because of lack of commitment ... it doesn't really matter anyway now..... I've thought about it... I've been in the DEBATES and I felt very Self Serving ... Now I see the need to SERVE OTHERS ... ( I got the news while I was writting this ... saddened in a way ... but... )

My 2 cents on Freedom & Choice

2005-09-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

Freedom, in my humble opinion, exists only when a condition or a state of matter has an alternative to its path of progress. Take for example, a state where there is NO freedom would be matter obeying the Laws of Gravity or when a particle is given an isolated space to only move in one path, its said to be obtaining one degree of freedom, the freedom only to move in a straight line. More alternatives would measure up to greater degrees of freedom. Say in a certain room with four walls, a particle would only be allowed to freely move within that given space. Therefore, freedom can only exist depending on the existence of its alternatives within a set boundary. Anything outside that boundary would be “forbidden” by Law.

Choice, a point of determination between two or more different pathways. Yet unlike freedom, choice comes with a little decision making involved. Meaning it would require some mental analysis or some kind of calculated trajectory of some sort. Unlike a gas particle, it has no choice, even in 3 degrees of freedom, it only moves in random motion within its given freedom. No choice. But for a man to be in a room, just like the particle, it is give freedom to roam within the room, yet he can Choose to walk out of the room. That would have defiled the Freedom given to him.

So far we’ve established,

Freedom: Exist in existence of alternatives and no laws to hold it back within its rightful boundary
Choice: Exist in existence of alternatives with mental judgement. A decision

Thus Freedom and Choice isn’t mutually exclusive, yet as much as Choice exist in the realm of freedom (or its degree of freedom), choices would also mean to choose out of that given Freedom. If an act like this sparks a New alternate approach to a given situation where no other individual have seen before but felt inspired to follow bringing together a massive number of individuals to take that approach out of that “given” freedom, if would have started a revolution (be it a good one or a bad one). Thus potentially increases the degree of Freedom in its progress.

For all that has been said my friends, Choose Wisely!
Be it within the Freedom we’re allotted to or not, choice in itself equates to Power.

2005-09-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

Science CG 1~!

Really miss our ex-CG leader~! Without him around, somehow science faculty is much more quieter ... when I say much more... I really mean MUCH MORE~! hehe

The other day Erica and Jeff treated me "dinner" .. so nice of them, gonna miss having them around in the faculty. But I guess I've not seen the last of them both .. hehe.. somehow these people linger on around UM... probably misses us as much as we miss them

God Bless you all and may all your future pursuits be pursuits of God~! :)

The Lord smiles upon you

Re-Bloggerized

2005-09-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a pretty wierd day for me.
Hectic week.
Crazy month.
Dried up year.

It's good that I'm back here, keying in my emotions, putting once again my feelings deep inside into digitized words again. Feels Good.... only, those darn MSN "chat chimes" are definitely a nuisance at this moment...

In Desperation for Inspiration~!

Till I feel inspired ... I'll write again...~!