Was down in Singapore for the whole weekend and for most of the time that I spent travelling, I invested them in quiet thoughts. There wasn't much to think about but as it went on and on it went deeper and deeper into a maze of principles, ideas and memories.
Singapore tells of many stories in my life. I've been there since I was a little kid and I'm a frequent visitor to that little island. (Though still unfamiliar with the roads..) Stories of old, stories of late. Yet to think of it, it has never really given one to smile about. (Except for that BEAUTIFUL fireworks display at Esplanade 2 years back).
Got involved with the Big walk by Touch Community Services (FCBC) charity event. I think what they are doing there was a good effort to aid the society in a mega scale. There was an estimate of 20,000 participants and I made one more count! We walked from City Hall, passed the Esplanade, crossed over to the Fullerton, round the Central Business District (CBD) then followed down Boat Quay, back to the Fullerton and based back at the Padang at City Hall. All in all took us about 2 hours. Hot and tiring but it was good to catch up with Sunny Tan and made a few new friends. Sunny is down in Singapore making a living. It's his first month and its been good. Didn't ask him much about Mabel, but Eng Huan* said it was an inside joke. Was it her who drove simple care-free Sunny down south? Perhaps love really does take people into extremities.
Eng Huan*, (dude sorry if I got your name spelt wrongly.. well at least I tried.. haha)
There's something in the atmosphere of Singapore that lures me into power and greatness. It seemed like a good fruit to take a bite in and that its telling me if I were to take a bite off it, I'll taste the juicy sweetness within. All the luxury, comfort and security that I can achieve with my potential only if I work hard enough. I do envy the richness of the land. When I start to compare it with Malaysia, makes me want to pack my bags and leave this place. Life is good, who doesn't want it? Come on, take a look at the exchange rate, Income per capita, consider the purchasing power. (You can buy furniture at half the price in Ikea here if you compare dollar to dollar)
But as my thoughts wandered, I begin to ask myself, is this what I want? The luxury, comfort and security invokes a spiritual complacency. Furthermore, it is always a rat race to keep pursuing riches to maintain such a lifestyle down there, it keeps me away from what I intend to do here in Malaysia with my life. Everytime I'm down south, I reconsider making a living there giving up all that I have here. Now I begin to ask, is this what He wants? I know He has plans for me here and perhaps plans in future to move me elsewhere.
I dare not speak about missions in the open though it is a burning passion yet I fear one that I cannot pay the price for. I've always ask what is the purpose of living in luxury that perishes with your earthly body. Yet for me, a mortal being, I tend to enjoy what is presently available and forgetting what is in the eternal. Is the yearn for immediate satisfaction a crime? Or perhaps to mellow my degree of satisfaction to live in contentment? Oh, how great the greed of man whose bellies are ever famished!
(Aiya... these Chinese especially la... Kiasu wan larr..)
If I go... I'll call it the SUDOXE [su,Dok,si] ...(revert Exodus)... returning to the riches of Egypt
-Awaiting orders to heed Your call-
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Candy
A little boy not too long ago saw a piece of candy in a candy shop. At first sight he thought it was beautiful with all its blazing colours tipped off with a delightful sugar coated rainbow on top. Everyday he would walk that road and would peer into that shop to see that candy. He wondered if anyone has already ordered it for reservation or just that no one else looked at it the way he did. It was there, hasn't anyone bought it?
He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.
When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.
The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.
The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.
There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.
When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.
He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.
When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.
The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.
The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.
There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.
When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Good Bye
There are many ways to say good bye, throwing a farewell party, having a simple dinner, over the phone or blowing good bye kisses at the air port. The out come is still the same. One minute they're there, the next minute, they're gone.
There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.
Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?
There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.
Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference
There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.
Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?
There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.
Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference
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