Pav and FionOn the other end of the spectrum, we see that there are still quite a significant number of young adults who stay unmarried, yet they are living under the same roof as a couple. The Japanese and our close neighbours - the Singaporeans are seeing a population decline because the citizens are not willing to have babies. Partly because it is expensive to raise a young one in a high standard economy, but partly it is also because the couples are unwilling to marry. Why is there such a reluctance?
Premarital cohabitation - "More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had unmarried parents (that's up 25% from 2002).
There has always been a strong debate in the idea of cohabitation opposed by the religious traditionals and defended by the modern contemporary, but the general acceptance on this idea is growing larger very quickly. This idea spreads like a parasite in the morality of human beings. Given what ever reasons - financial, relationships, practicality - a man and a woman cohabiting is never a good option. It stirs in the minds of the individual that living together doesn't require marriage. It goes beyond just sex before marriage, rather we could start acting like "husband and wife" without signing with the registrar of marriage. This "acting" gives the couple the option to get "in" or "out" of a relationship whenever fancy. This decays one principle - that only married individuals should stay together under one roof.
Lost meaning - There are a great number of people has no real idea of what a marriage is. This includes married individuals who have been married over 10 years. People think that marriage is just about living together and have children - and being tied to an extended family (Parents / Grandparents) that comes with your partner. Some just want to get married because they need to buy a house together and that merging their bank accounts together would help them with their maximum home-loan amount. No wonder unmarried individuals prefer to stay unmarried - simply because they see these "excess baggage" that comes with marriage unnecessary. What does marriage really mean then? Let me answer this in my next article.
Unwilling change - "My dad told me on the day of my wedding, 'Never go in a place that you wouldn't take your wife.' " - David Gibbs
With marriage comes a change in lifestyle. You are a wild running stallion when you single, but when you tie the knot, you're but a couple of chariot horses. Statistically over 76% of unmarried men above the age of 30 will give you the answer of being unable to change their lifestyle at the moment to accommodate a wife in their lives. "I have not done half the things I want to do in my life, how would I get them done if I got married now?" - Brother, show me a bucket list and I'll show you how you can chase the wind. Men (and even some women) sees marriage as a big boulder tied to their ankle. They have forgotten that it is not a dead boulder that they are tied to, it is a living human being that they love that they are bounded to. And if somehow both these humans can work through the changes in their lifestyle - put one feet in front of the other at the same time - they can fulfill even greater tasks together! Two chariot horses can do much more meaningful work than a wild running stallion.
Cost of wedding - If you are an average Indian family, the bride's father had better have the Dowry to pay for his daughter's marriage. If you are an average Chinese family, the groom had better have at least RM 30,000 in his pocket. GLAM & PRIDE - 'nuff said
Lack of social pressure - This came up as one of the few factors of why couples refuse to get married. It reads that these couples don't feel "pushed" to get married either by family or friends. A reminder to all those young uncles and aunties - the next time you see your eligible-yet-unmarried-nephew at any family function, ask them the "When?" question.
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