Candy

A little boy not too long ago saw a piece of candy in a candy shop. At first sight he thought it was beautiful with all its blazing colours tipped off with a delightful sugar coated rainbow on top. Everyday he would walk that road and would peer into that shop to see that candy. He wondered if anyone has already ordered it for reservation or just that no one else looked at it the way he did. It was there, hasn't anyone bought it?

He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.

When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.

The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.

The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.

There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.

When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.

Good Bye

There are many ways to say good bye, throwing a farewell party, having a simple dinner, over the phone or blowing good bye kisses at the air port. The out come is still the same. One minute they're there, the next minute, they're gone.

There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.

Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?

There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.

Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference

Broken Vow

I like these songs by Josh Groban, I feel theres a message behind his songs and I think its subtle enough that sometimes even Christians overlook.

Broken Vow

How Paul illustrates that the church is the bride of Christ is very interestingly portrayed in love songs that are sung. A lover who is unselfish and wants the best of his other half. He was even willing to let her go. Let her be herself and all that she wants to be. But amidts his unselfish love for the other, he calls her back into his arms and in the process is really hurt by such rejections that he is receiving.

To put it in harsher bible words, something like Jeremiah who marries a prostitute, and he discovers the pain that God feels when the children of Isreal forsakes God Almighty. Like a whore who looks for pleasures beyond that of her lover's.

He is calling, are we responding? Or are we like whores who say we belong to Him but our eye is not single? Is it not written, " If thine eye be single, you body will be full of light."? Or are we double standard Christians who proclaim Christ but do not live for Christ?

We must learn to love the pleasures of what our lover can give us. A Godly thirst and a passionate hunger to be with Him in Christ. Till He becomes our ultimate satisfaction.

This should be our response,

My Confession - Coming humbled before the Cross

Remember when it rained - Such is a desire, such is a passion.

Demands

What can a servant demand?
Whom can he authoritatively ask favours from?
Why should he be given a chance even to speak?

For one to make demands, he must be in a position to do so. But what justifies such a position?
Perhaps for a politician = great political influence
for a business man = great wealth and success
for an experienced engineer = a mega scale project portfolio
for a doctor = great number of lives he has saved

But what of a servant? Even the head of servants must listen to orders. If given orders from his Master, would he then be given the power to demand of other servants?

I think in this age of liberalism, we have lost sense of servants and masters. Everyone is a master for himself. Liberated he does all he likes. Pleasures of his own for his own glory forgetting a debt he owes his master.
Now that he has forgotten that he is a servant, he responds in his own greatness to demand of others to accomplish his will, but not the will of his master.

I'm questioning the existance of 2 points of power to demand.
One given authoritatively,
Another by selfish ambitions.

Now what of this leadership? As cheif servant, whose will am I accomplishing?
Mine?
Theirs?
or His?


A great man indeed I am not,
By the heel as I run, I'm caught,
To stop and give this a little thought,
Is there worth at all, the fight we've fought?
Was it for our own glory?
Are our offerings to You worthy?
To me, why have You given such?
Me a rusty dime, I don't worth much.
Am I in a position to demand?
If given authority by Your command?
Is there something I don't see?
Oh Lord, you lead me, you lead me.

Surreal Illusions

Its almost been like a dream to be here. I've been through a lot of tough times and also joyful times, but nonetheless plenty of lifelong experiences to bring with me as I continue this journey.
Come to think of it, it has been almost 6 weeks and there was lots to learn. Learning is indeed a painful experience and at the same time it brings an odd sense of delight when you know that what you've learnt builds character.

Now I'm left with 2 weeks remaining and I've planned out a whole range of activities here to keep my mind, body and soul occupied. Its an adventure, a physical experiential adventure as well as a spiritual exponential adventure. Indeed the tasks at hand seems daunting, but I feel encouraged by the people around me and those far from me. Thank God for close friends.

Would like to stay for some poetry, but time is of the essence.. perhaps another day~!

Inspired, yet limited... God you lead my words

Touch and Go

Yup, I was back in KL but it was certainly a touch and go thing. But I'm glad to make it back to do some important things here before I continue my 4 weeks back in Gua Musang. I've missed out on alot and I guess its time to catch up on somethings and get myself boosted again.

Came back on Thursday night and it was great cuz mom had made me some soup which I craved for nearly 3 weeks now. It was satisfying and I needed nothing else for dinner.
Went to Ps. Kelly's place and I once again found myself in the midts of Christian Fellowship that edifies one another. Certainly it was a good time of praise and worship as well as sharing. I was daring enough to share about my own seekings and my thoughts on Isaiah 6. I think God really spoke to us that night because the songs that were sung and the things Ps. Noah and Ps. Kelly and also my personal sharing with them was in coherence.

Spent some time with my parents that Thursday night and really missed them. Though we were not allowed much time to be together but I just let my heart pour out on the things I will be doing and what God has put in my heart the past 4 days.

Friday was almost a full day near UM area.. went to the faculty in the morning to check my results .. I think it was pretty good... except for 1 paper... may have to re-sit that one.
Found out who my industrial attachement lecturer was and we're supposed to contact her ASAP.. which we've not done yet..
Went out with Christopher and Lydia for lunch then went to the Ikano power centre and then The Curve
Came home about 5.30pm and wanted to sleep a while but received a call about 6.10pm and rushed back to UM in response to that call.. I'm glad I answered that call back to Uni, I think there was much to be settled that day and I really Thank God that we did clear somethings that should have been clarified earlier. I felt a great sense of release and a certain joy over it, but there's still something missing... perhaps it will remain missing.
Having see Sae-rom and her brother Elmo (cute name~!) and some of the other PKVians again was indeed good for me in a sense that, I've been so socially deprived back in Gua Musang, I just wanted to talk my heart away with them.. I had fun that night~!

Saturday was a busy busy day..
Went out with the Beautiful Gates people and took them to the KLCC for the book fair. It was nice having them around and just helping them to get about, but I didnt really get to socialize with them because most of them spoke only mandarin, I felt so deprived of the ability to communicate... A few PKVians and a few of Mei Si's friends from different universities. Only Johnson and I were the guys from PKV... but we had fun.
After that we went into Suria for a while and tried to get them some food before they left, but it was so crowded there so Mei Si packed KFC for them to take with them to bring back to BG

Mei Si, Yee Voon, Mei Han and I went to watch the Da Vinci Code.. missed the show a little bit cuz we were late .. up till now, I've not eaten nor drank anything.. Yee Voon was merciful enough to spare me some fries and water in the show... haha Thanks alot~!
The show was okay, but I think those who read the book would have gotten a better picture of what went on in that show... Screenplay was average, not much of emotions involved.. Storyline, its the book.. quite true to the book but it lacks some description of what went on behind certain scenes... (they had to cut .. it was freaking 2 and a half hour long)
Towards the end of the show, Yee Voon and I were already starting to doze off.. haha not that it was bad, rather it was quite draggy.
I certainly hope the audiences watching that show would be able to differentiate fact from fiction


came back at about 6.30 and was expected to go out again to Amcorp Mall at 7.15 .. so not much breaks in between and we're rushing off again.
Celebrated Yee Voon's birthday with Goon, Tux, Chong Ee, Gin Li, Fanny, Ginny and Leena.
It was wonderful to see them all together again, though we're missing some of us out, but I really missed them all~!
Went to A&W later to have round 2, then CE showed his masterpiece presentation specially done for Yee Voon .. so touching~!

Well, that's all till now.. I'm sitting in front of the computer blogging... its 1.30am now ... will be leaving tomorrow at 6.30 morning .. haha
Better get some sleep before I do that~!

Lack of time...

I was going to post a long blog here, but sadly.. haha I've got no time to blog now lehh.. so many things to type in 2 hrs only ... limited cybercafe time la...

well.. perhaps more time to blog the next time..

PKVians are back and ready to perform.. I hope .. haha

I'm well...

Waking up to the aroma of "Waste PO Sludge"

Okay, this blog was supposed to be a parody to Lydia's blog but I feel it crumble beneath it all~!

There were so many things on my mind to blog about through the 2 weeks but all of a sudden, as I stare at this computer screen in this awfully ventilated cyber cafe, my brains malfunctioned. Further more, its wise to blog first before you check your mails... or other blogs.. or any other things.. Ideas just fade away with the presence of new thoughts~!

Well, first off, PO means Palm Oil .. we call our products CPO here (Crude Palm Oil)
Every morning the routine is such that I will have to collect a sample from the Separator (separates sludge from oil) and do a test... I've gotta bake the Sludge to remove water traces to analyze water content, it smells like rotten cookies~! (well we nicked name it "cookies" already)

Its been laid back here, but in saying so, the phrase "working like a cow/dog" still very well applies .. hehe .. you've gotta toil hard in the day, then its silence at night ... lots of time for yourself.

Ppl here are UNDERPAID~! My sis sits in an office airconditiond for 7 hrs answering phone calls and is paid RM80 a day ... my co workers here gotta work minimum 8 hours and is paid RM 18 basic... some of them work up to 16hrs a day if they are called into overtime~! which happens all the time ... and are paid only at RM3.47 per extra hour~!
well.. I'm not expecting much of a pay.. so its ok for me...


My host (my friends father) was actualy a Christian... we were talking the other night about religions .... It wasn't really much of a discussion, rather a lecture. More it a one sided view on religion.
At first I thought Mr. Michael was a free thinker. He started off with "it doesn't matter what you believe in". He talked alot about his past, he was a Methodist and his grand father was a pastor. Then he talked about his own seekings. He compared many religions and he came to the conclusion that the Quran holds the absolute truth!

This was where the talk got even more interesting. I came to find that he was a rogue Muslim. He believed in the Quran but does not associate himself with other muslims and he is dissapointed with the Muslims today.

I didnt want to say much. Nor was I given a chance to say anything. But I believe that God has opened a door for me to touch a life. It scares me at this point because I'm not even sure what to say.

O'Lord that You will be my guide and guard my heart and mind. That You would lead my lips

One thing he put as a bottomline. To deny the deity of Christ. Because it was written in the Quran. He holds on to its absolutes and is already influenced by it to think from that point.
He said God needs no intercesors.. (as Christ was to him). I've really gotta watch my talk.. perhaps I'll be able to make him think otherwise someday.


I think I'll write what I do best..

Days are early,
and so are the nights,
Waken to natures awesome beauty,
Slumber in Evening's cool delight.
Toil by dawn, surrendred by dusk,
The stench at work, a pure disgust,
Such is the life in a little town,
But with Him around, I do not frown,

Missing the days back in the city,
Where people are always busy, busy, busy.
Dare to say I miss the hustle,
Thinking much about having a waffle.
But now alas, I'm already here,
Maketh me the best of it,
Succumbed to change I was ready to bear,
Learn something new, adjust abit.

In its cloudless gleam,
The moon lit so dim,
No doubt a clear sky,
Is this how the twilights die?
Shattered within in thoughts and desires,
Drown in floods, burnt with fire,
All that's left is an owls night call,
My dear, my dear, do you miss me at all?

My brains are drained, I can write no more,
In the heat of this cybercafe, I can script no further,
Well, most of it was for my heart to pour,
My thoughts, my thoughts, come gather, come gather!


Jesus, my Savior and Lord~! A name beyond names, I will never deny~!
Dear Lord, My love for you a new~!

8 Weeks

This is it~!

Gua Musang, here I come~!

8 weeks seems to be a long time. So many things are yet uncertain about where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.. Guess there's nothing more but to go there and let God lead me.

One of the biggest thing for me about going there is not because of the Training, but its more spiritual. I'm going there expecting something from God, perhaps in its silence and serenity, I'll find my self truely escaped from the "systems" that govern society in the big cities. Without such a hold on me, perhaps... just hopefully perhaps, I may truely discover my identity in Him.
Lord I'm looking for a new revelation of You~!

---

Separate ways,

For alot of my friends, PKVians or Ex-Classmates, we'll be away for this whole semester break.. I miss my ex-class mates cuz this is about the only time in the year that we can really get together before another year begins.. for the PKVians, I'm so used to seeing them all the time, not seeing them is... different.

I'm blessed, for today I was able to see someone go. I wasn't much of a Good Bye, no long Sayo-naras or lenghty waves.. but to see her off was to me a reminder of the things which are ahead of me and that each of us also has our own responsibilities.That's reality I guess... Though, I know I'll miss her much.

---

Last Words

This may be my last blog entry before I leave for the 8 weeks. May not be able to continue to blog like this once I'm there. Not sure If there'd be any convenient access to the internet.

May God be with all of us and may this Holidays/Training/Coursework/Special Semester... be a fruitful one~! Commit it to the Lord, have Him in your thoughts daily~!
Seek and Ye shall find~!

Chef-mastery

This old fasion rice cooker was a gift from my grand mother for my parents wedding. It has served us, fed me to who I am today. Without which I would not have tasted life as it is been and will be for me.
I can't say thank you to a pot, but I'm thankful for the riches of His providance and for those who took care of me thus far (my parents).

It is also partialy it's (the green thing up there) fault that because of "it", many of my friends know me as a "rice basket" a.k.a "Fan Thung" (cina speaking)
I love rice.. I cant go a day without eating rice.. not satisfied till I get enough of it before the day ends.. its heaven to have nasi lemak every morning for breakfast .. (I actualy dont mind)


Got to really learn how to cook these days...
Going to Gua Musang without such a skill is a handicap
Gotta befriend some of the locals there and ask them to teach me their traditional ways of cooking ... I'm sure they make really nice food there...

I was in Borders today with Amy and Macy ... stumbbled upon a few cook books... one by Anthony Bourdain.. then it dawned on me.. "Hey, dont leave the kitchen to the Girls~!"
Gotta survive there also and if I and Tux dont learn to really cook.. we're not gonna eat Nasi Kandar for 8 weeks straight (though rice larr.. but every meal .. a bit too much liow lor)

I tried cooking today... wont tell what I cooked... cheated a lil la.. Dad helped wan... my great teacher now...

Realized cooking is much like chemistry, know your ingredients, know what you want to "synthesize", follow procedure, a hint of spicy creativity .. some minor "data" adjustments ..(haha), control temperature, observe timing, at the end of it all settle it all down and make it look beautiful...

That's what I call cooking-chemistry..

It is finished

Bloggy bloggy~! .. how have you been?
For long I've ignored your little window,
So much I've touched and seen,
My little brain my biggest memory theft,
Tonight I'll word what's left,
Only as fragment historical shadows.

It all started with Organic Chem 2,
then came Maths Asas next in que,
Industrial Chemistry followed suit,
Gave me a few days break but still enroute,
Then Analytical Chemistry came to haunt,
That wasnt the end of the daunt~!
Polymer took the Best of me today~!
(Actualy cuz I only gave 1 and half day to study lar)
Right now I can finaly shout "HooRay~!!!"

Actualy this blog wasnt made to rhyme,
but words came from time to time,
know not when, know not why?
Perhaps its just a hearts cry?

Though my mind feels liberated,
My heart and soul remains captivated.
Prisoner of my own words,
Yet a prisoner gladly be.


Hmm but going to Gua Musang soon already, kinda feel uneasy about the whole thing, being away for so long and all that~! I'll certainly miss the ppl here.
Seems like there is so much to prepare but unsure of what to bring.
So many things would be left here to be done but I wont be around, PKV activities still in mind.
What to expect? Who is my lecturer taking care of me? What must be done before I go?
Registration also not open for me yet??


----

Checked out from college today~!
No longer staying in 4th liow~!
Its the end of my college life~!
Now there's a problem~!
Where am I going to stay~?!
(At this point... some ppl will say that I deserved it... "ha.. didnt find earlier lor..")


----

Ivy~! Are you coming back??~!!!
Missed you so much lerr~!
Hope to see you on Zacky's Birthday...
What are you gonna get ur lil bro?


----

Aitez~! this concludes the journey of year 2,
Lots of Red, Greens and Blue,
Many a test, plenty of trails,
Walked for miles and miles,
New faces came and gone,
Perhaps we'll meet later on,
Learning a new lesson,
To being a better person,
Perhaps to love as well,
or in love, dwell?
Leadership in humility?
May You always humble me.
Laugh and Play,
Fast and Pray,
In gratefulness, Thank You!
Without You dear Father, I know not how to pull through~!

Fruitful Week

I think when they say "Man perform better under pressure", there is alot of truth in that statement.

This week has certainly been one of the longest week in this semester. Thought its just Thursday now.. it felt like its been a well over a week since I came back from church on Sunday.
I had so many datelines piling this week and there were so many things left undone. Assignments were done till the wee hours of the morning

Sunday night had to go to UM at night for a Group Discussion for my Spoken English for Professional course .. before that it was good that I visited Jeff first at the hospital.

There was a test on Monday so had to study (Dont ask me for the results)

Then the completion of the Flory temperature due Tuesday.. I've learnt alot from that

Had Tuesday to do Agenda for committee meeting also, apologize for the delay (should be prepared well over a week in advanced, n Thanks Cheffy for sending it out for me.. no internet access in college)

Wednesday was lab reports day. I cant believe I actualy wrote 4 reports in a day~! Altogether was 7 reports to had up. On Wed night after Committee Meeting, had to finish up my tutorial for Polymer

Thursday morning had to do another Tutorial for Polymer (Different Lecturer), preparing for the discussion and the discussion was done .. I would say.. it was quite ok lar...

Today~!... I had a break with Razif at the Science Fac Cafe cuz class was canceled .. was thinking that someone else would accompany me .. but.. wasnt free..

Had dinner with Mom and Dad.. KL was really really Jammed.. took them almost 2 hours in the car to get to me.

Went out for a mid-night drive with Ikmal.. sending his sister to IJN .. he just needed a company... its nice to catch up with friends.

Tomorrow morning I'll be in MVEC promoting MAA insurance with MeL*, Macy and Steph .. one more friend I think... 11am till 8pm


Well this weekend, I foresee myself studying Organic at the same time struggle to finish my ISE assignment .. which I've not touched yet.

I personaly think I've achieved more that my whole semester put together in a weel. The next few weeks will be that way.. pushing myself to study.. I really need to now.


Lord, I give thanks to you,
For this semester you have been true,
Never giving me more than I could chew,
You lift me up whenever I felt blue.

Endings usualy come bitter sweet,
Through this sem, it came bit by bit,
At times, thrown into ecstacy,
A jolt of pain, plunges into agony.

But through it all You were there,
One so sure, You always care,
Such beauty and so much Love,
Such passion that comes from above!
Such is the way, teach me dear Lord,
To love like you did, Unconditional, without a cord.

7 Viruses, 6 Birthdays, 1 marriage proposal and an accident

Its been a wild wild week~!
Yesterday night couldnt get enough sleep
But today bright as can be
My eyes are clear, but still quite lazy.

UM computers are infected with Brontox Virus.
So far I've come to know 7 ppl who were already infected. Me, Tux, Victor, Clara, Keat Leong, and 2 juniors in college.
So everyone using the computers in UM.. Beware~!
It seems that they lurk into your computer via thumbdrive.. and if you are not careful what you open in your thumbdrive you'll get it. Its best you have AVG to protect your PC from it because to date, the other Mega Antivirus companies (McAfee, PCcillin, Norton, Sophos) cant trace this virus.
Use AVG to scan for the virus in your Thumbdrive

6 Birthdays this week and I've celebrated 4 of them...
Happy Birthday again to:

Christopher Choong (Bra-Boy)
Adelene Joyce Williams
Macy, Law Mei Si
Hosanna Chung
Lee Mun Yee
Fui Yen (Singapore)

Its always great to have friends to celebrate with you on your Birthday~!


Fui Yen got more that she asked for this years Birthday...
Melvin finaly proposed to Fui Yen in marriage .. (haha received news from Ivy)

There were candles, violin player and a lovely night sky... so romantic ..(but got a gang of girls there also lar who felt awkward after they surprised her)

Gotta ask Ivy to tell u this tale cuz I'm a second degree witness .. haha


It was terrifying to receive news that my senior had met with an accident.

It was a tuesday afternoon that I heard from Tuxoon that Jeffrey was hit by a car.
I wasnt sure yet what had happened so I was trying to get some info from Erica. They were there visiting him. On that day itself, Jeff underwent surgery.. they had to screw his fractured bones together again.. (when I heard this I knew how serious this was)

I've already spoken to Jeff and as always, I still find him very positive about the circumstances
He told me his heroic tale on the phone.. haha (ok.. the heroic part was added by me.. he humbly denied it)
His pregnant colleague was crossing the street when suddnely she fell.. Jeff saw her falling and wanted to turn back and help her... when he walked onto the street, a Cefiro came and crashed into him, threw him from the first lane to the 3rd lane ... next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.
It wasnt much of a display of the act of heroism .. but the heroic heart that this man has that made that difference. I salute him for that~!


I'd best be leaving now.. gotta go to the dentist today.. got a chipped tooth that I gotta repair .. :P
Dont get funny Ideas and ask me to show it to you.. haha

Man's Best Friend

Three months ago, a stranger came and took shelter at my home. He was shivering, hungry and tired. Lost and alone with no where to go because the place he called home was destroyed by yellow giants that breathed dark smoke through their noses.
Now, he is no stranger anymore, but a friend. But it is today that it was his last day being with us, for today he was taken away.

I will tell you a tale of a creature that changed our perception on how we look at things. A gentleman, loyal friend and a survivor of odds. His (or rather "its") name is Buddy.

Late last year, Buddy came and sought refuge at my house porch from the December rain. At the back of the hill that I'm staying near, there were lots of new development going on and I think that must have caused it to move out to seek refuge among us humans. We we're curious why this dog never left after the rain. We decided to leave it alone and perhaps it will leave later.
The next morning, we saw this lean golden brown dog still sleeping under the hood of the car, perhaps he finds it warm under the engine. Again we left it alone and thought it would leave.

Days go by and still this dog refused to take its leave and continued to sleep at the same spot. Whenever we walked out of the door, it would be alerted and will make way for us to walk past him so as to not obstruct our coming and going. (Such gentleman -- or rather gentledog)

Christmas came and Ivy came back from Singapore and learnt of this dog that was staying outside our porch. It never bothered us so we didnt think of forcing it to leave.. but mom actualy didnt like pets. Ivy started to call it "Buddy", after that we all also started to address him as "Buddy". So that was how "Doggy" got its name "Buddy"

As days went by, it became much closer to family. I wasnt around much as I was in UM during the weekdays, but it seems that he recognises me. Dad began feeding it, mom didnt wasnt really bothered about the dog because he always avoided us so as not to obstruct our activities. When mom goes out to dry the clothes, he will move aside and watch her hang up the wet clothes in the sun. He would also walk beside us when we go down the street just as close company.

There were many nights especialy in February, I would just sit out in the moonlight in the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep but he was there. I began to move closer to him and he would let me pet his head. I've been in really close proximity and he would actualy move closer. A true friend even in the late hours.

I would begin to whisper my prayers to God and he would sit by me to listen. I dont know if he understands anything at all (well I doubt it anyway) but his presence being so close makes me feel that there is a friend close by. At times like these I would gaze into its eyes and wonder, if there is a soul in such a creature. Meek and Loyal, a true friend who sits quietly beside you and listens to what you say.

I wonder do "All dogs go to heaven"??

Late February, Buddy got involved in an accident. He was hit by a truck while it was resting in the middle of the street. His fore-right limb was crushed and he could not walk properly after that. Thankfully he was spared of his life, but we got a little worried because his wounds were open and there was no way that we could assist him because we were afraid to go near him. I've tried to draw closer to him after that but he would evade me. Perhaps he thought that it would trouble us more to care for him. So for the rest of the days Buddy grew thinner because it couldnt move much and spent most of the time resting behind our cars.

Today, a day to be remembered. It was the day we last see Buddy. The dog catchers came and took him away. Just when Buddy was getting better, just when he was almost fully recovered from his open wounds (though he may never walk again). Although handicapped, Buddy did put up a great struggle from 5 men who poised to capture him ... dead or alive. It was a struggle between life and death, decides if he would continue to live here or die tonight.

There is so much more I want to talk about Buddy.
He's changed my way of looking at animals
He's changed my mothers affections towards pets/pests
He's drawn out a deep sense of care for animals from my dad
He's became my lil brother's "first pet"

Good friend, I will surely miss you~!

-in rememberance of Buddy-
24th March 2006

Moving on

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,Phillipians 3:13 (ASV)

There are things in life that you cannot hold back in memories for too long without letting go and moving on. There comes a time where a decision has to be made to make progress,

Your regrets, your remorse. Give them to Me, because you cannot live with them.

All seems like foolishness, but may it pass, may it pass

Sharp Words

Words uttered can never be taken back
Words that cut opens new wounds
Like a man shredding a feather pillow and trying to pickup the feathers again in the streets
I'm sorry I had to say those things
I'm sorry you had to hear them from me

Does Transparency Pay?

Lord, u lead and u reign

Gua Musang

That's where I'll be going soon~! (with Soon) .. haha sorry for the pun

I've just got off an interview with Mr Micheal .. or uncle Mike .. nice man he is, got lots to share about his past experiences. I think from what he says, in taking us, he will expect much out of us because this is a infant growing organization.. so lots of research and self-understanding is much needed to improve efficacy of plant operation. I think there will be a few traits that we may have to learn at first but I think when we get the hang of it, we will have to start off with the real reasons we are placed there... to do research

It looks like a long way from home, but I guess its time to step out of the comfort zones! Life is going to be harder there, perhaps it will push me from where I am now further to be able to withstand the pressures of the working world in future... I realized I can't be stuck in academics all my life... I think that's where most students fear most.. transition from student to a full working adult~!

I'm comforted much knowing that my God is with me all the way and that he has provided for me so as to take up such a challenge. I'm ready for it... perhaps the few weeks of isolation from modernity would help me lear a thing or two .. and maybe with the less distractions I may get to know Him more and more~!

I know I'll certainly miss all my friends for those long weeks, surely we would be dying to meet one another after the long semesters and now the holidays ... I guess this year I may not see some of them back in KL~! *Sigh*

I've made a decision, I'm sticking with it.. so don't ask me again "why Kelantan?". Its a challenge I want to take up, and its a challenge I'll get~!

"God be with me!" --- oh yeah .. it was good that it rained here today too~! Thank God~!

Heavenly Beauty

As I gaze into the cloudless sky,
Countless stars, way up high,
The crescent moon, smiling west,
A joyful night, a glee celest.
Such was the clarity,
in a wide spaced beauty,
yet such was also the darkness,
not being able to see beyond us.

Much like what's deep inside,
Sitting between a great divide,
Beyond that beauty, is there no vision,
No focus, no goal, just driven by passion,
Fear is birthed by her mother, Uncertainty,
What lies beyond that beauty?
What waits for me?
In the deep darkness, I cannot see,
Until I'm there, will I also find beauty?
Perhaps beauty in another way,
But for now I'll live from day-to-day.

Freedom

Its a thousand words

Coded Language

Can one learn to truely understand another?
Can one know exactly what the other person is saying?
Can one read a person's body language and tell what the other is hinting?
Can one see between the lines of what the other is really writting about?
Can one understand why was something said or written by another?
Can one feel how the other person feels in all of his/her expressions?
Can one learn to truely understand another?

I've come to a point where I find myself unable to really listen.

Are you telling me something?
Are you trying to prove a point?
Are you educating me?
Or are you just testing me?


Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. - Pearl Buck -

Questionable Quotes