Birthday --- Exams

Every year without fail I run into this dilemma of 2 worlds. To celebrate or to dread studying.
Yup, I'm taking the liberty this year here just to share a little bit of what I go through in the recent years.

I love the number 11. Ok, November 11 is special to me (Obviously... if u don't yet know.. its my BIRTHDAY~!!). And to add to that effect, I was born at 11:13pm at Hospital Besar Cina Kuala Lumpur. Yeah, I guess you could say my dad was 2 minutes late to register me exactly at 11:11pm, but I'm still glad.

The date itself is very easy to remember, and you've guessed it, my SMS inbox is being bombarded by friends from every circle. Friends of Old and friends of Late, from old church, old school mates, Serayians and Victorians, PKVians, Old fellow Campers, UM-ers, Bestarians, and family members. Just wanna shout out a word of THANK YOU to all of you~! (Yeah, thx Kim - all the way from Auzzieland~!)

But the sad part is, ever since High School days, espcially when we're taking Major Exams (SPM and STPM), my Birthday Falls on the Exam period~!! I think I was taking Biology STPM on my 19th Birthday. Ever since I've been in University of Malaya, I've always had posponed birthday celebrations. At those times, It just doesn't feel the same like the old days.

My most memorable birthday was when I turned 18 in 2002. I was in lower 6 and most of us were already in the holiday mood drawing to the close of the academic year. My old school friends with some of my new Victorian friends threw a party for me at my house~! I enjoyed it very very much! It was fun having the whole house noisy with chatters and laughters. Then they brought out the "Secret Recipe Chocolate Banana" cake~! HUGE pile of cream and fudge~! I loved it so much~! It was sooo big we couldn't finish it thought there were so many of us. Those were the days... (or rather that was the day...)

Yup, yet again today and for the past 2 years, Exams and Birthdays clash. My 21st birthday was another quiet one. Just me and my family minus Ivy who was in Singapore, sat at Kim Gary's Mid Valley on table 11 and had a decent meal. (Thanks Ashley for the nice card u made and the guys back from the old school for the cross necklace you people gave, dad and mom for the gold ring)

Today has just begun. My friend is getting married today~! So it means my parents will be going to her wedding and I'll be babysitting the kiddos at home. (Congrats Krystal~! Have a wonderful wedding~!). Well, the day has just begun. At least 1hr and 21 mins through by now already. Who knows what's in store.. haha :)

Birthdays remind me of alot of my friends. Its true when they say no man is an Island. We're all born in a sea of faces. People we meet and get acquainted becomes part of our lives. How well we be friends depends on how much time and exprience we share with them. Throughout our lives we will continue to engage with one another giving and taking from one another till we depart from this world. It also reminds us of what really matters that we do here on earth. Is it worth it all? Can I make a grown man cry? Or a sobbing toddler cease her tears?


What are we doing here?...

Let's study..

Stillness

In the midts of silence you hear nothing,
Grass fields of tranquility, there's wind blowing,
An easy breeze after the rain but no trees brushing,
It is still, calm and serene.
Time for solitude and placid.
Nature is quiet, not even whispering.

Much like this blog for quite a while, nothing has been written, nothing expressed. Tonight to break literary absence it would be good to see a few words here.

I've been working on an entry that has forced me to put it into drafts for 4 times now. There are things that I'm still very uncertain of and must be really cautious when engaging such an issue. I think being careless about what is about to be written here is most cataclysmal. Keeping readers in suspense? Not really, haven't found the time to do some research about it anyway.. piled with lots to study and work at hand.

Times have certainly changed for me. I feel like a different man ever since our lecture weeks ended on 20th October. There are certain readjustments for me that I'm forced to make... at least I force myself to make. Its to pave way for what is to come. Everytime I talk about the future, it comes with little uncertainty. Yes today I will tell you again, I'm not even sure what way am I paving for myself. But I'm positive that God indeed has great plans for all of us and that we should commit our desires to Him that He may see it come to pass according to His will. I've learnt to embrace the future with anticipation rather than fear. What is to come, must come because the future is in His hands.

I think I'm very much a man who reacts differently to circumstances, obligations and environment. My stepping down as president has softened myself much more now that I'm no longer in leadership. There isn't a rush inside anymore to have things done or rather see to it that things get done. I believe I've learnt alot from this experience over the past 1 year and I'm sure such an experience would be put to better use in near future. I'm truly glad that there is a bunch of young willing servants who rose to take responsibility over PKVUM and though I'm put off the stage, I promise to continue to inspire~!


There comes a point when a traveller must meet a crossroad and choose his path. Knowing that one road leads to another and that it may not meet once again with the road he formerly negated. But a decision in confidance is but all it takes to keep on moving, aware of someone who loves him is always looking out for him. That is his comfort.
I've made a decision, a commitment, a promise that I intend to keep.


O' Lord, see me to the end~!

Time Gap

Sparingly using a little of my time,
To come up with a simple rhyme,
Class cancelled, a test posponed,
Some ticking-tocks I can call my own,
Time, something I can now afford to abuse,
But only if I could have better used,
Not for long can I keep this up,
Better be wise, don't spill the cup,
My tummy groaning in desperate hunger,
Wonder if the guys are eating? Can't wait much longer,
"Some people" get to eat Italian,
I think I'll only get to savour sub-Asian,
Can we go now? Its singing Gardenia~!
Time's up, gotta face realia~!


Ivan, Grab a Grub and Go Study~!!!

Breaking Silence

Lately there has been flares of questions that heat deep into my heart. Mostly those questions are of external factors, namely from the people around. But me being a good thermos is able repel such heating by choosing to deny certain things that ought to be faced with some level of seriousness.

Further more it is 2 thermos that are repelling flaring questions about "us". On my part this thermos is completely shut. Her part, she's got a good line of defence utilizing denial as a thick thermal barrage. The more intense the flames become, the more we take cover.

But there must come a time when one must start to open to allow a wee hole in the flask to examine the temperatures outside and test if what they say is true? Considering how hot the temperatures they say it is if they are indeed factual. These questions must then be allowed to enter in and be confronted with seriousness.

How is it then when one starts considering, influences the other to consider as well? She's got it sealed tight, unready to peek out. Perhaps a proposition to its reality would break her silence?
Today this thermos is now broken, consumed in flames with questions of "its" probability. The point is now to puncture a hole in her barrage and perhaps, only perhaps, she may shatter her defences as well.

Dear readers, I'm not talking about thermodynamics... Its a change in the point of view that must take place if there were to be a conclusion to questions.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

A little something to inspire Malaysians. I'm not sure if they really published this in The Star newspaper

The Voyage

Sail therefore a mighty vessel,
In its own time, in its own course,
Enduring storms, inhaling in serenity,
Bearing in its load, scores of privateers,
From different races, religion, and peers,
Working in harmony in well earned unity.

Achievements never come overnight,
Nothing was gained without a fight
We see how all things came to be,
As we stroll back into our history.

In the past foreign ships came into sight,
Sails reaching celestial heights,
Gloriously cruising in unstoppable momentum,
Didn’t know they’ve come to take our freedom.

Oppressed we were, submitting to them,
Circumstances made us powerless to overcome,
Robbed our supplies, plundered our feed,
We toiled hard to gratify their greed.

Arose therefore warriors of hope,
To claim once more of what they took,
Brilliant leaders then appeared,
To take freedom by the pen with less blood smeared.

Conciliate then a peaceful treaty,
To honour and respect each party,
Agreeing to work parallel with one another,
Instead of one over the other.

Since then, greater we have become,
On the mast we’re able to see how far we’ve gone,
As we unite and set sail together,
Solving hardships we will endeavour,
Across rough seas was part of the voyage,
In history to us, a timeless passage.

Therefore strive on, and make it known,
Show the world how much we’ve grown,
Pushing the limits, crossing the boundaries,
For the end of the horizon lies countless mysteries.

Until we scorch the sky and fathom the sea,
Patriotic citizens we pledge to be.
For the love of one nation,
This be our bastion.

-everquint-

Thought Coherency

It follows nicely what I've posted earlier, just about 16 hours ago. After Bible Study with Mr. Lian it all came together matched conveniently with my thoughts former. Like I said, its more convenient.. not coincident.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Now, there is nothing on earth that happened in coincidence! Mr. Lian suggested that there is no such thing as luck. Everything can be explained and calculated! A mathematician would say that a roll of dice is by chance.. If you roll a fair dice square enough, the chance for each number to be shown on top would always be 1/6. Throw it frequently enough, it proves that the mathematician is right! There is chances of change~!

But a Physicist would never agree. A dice throw is heavily dependant on all interacting forces that can be precisely calculated, velocity and force of throw, mid air interacting forces, impact and the degree of spin, then the bounce rates of the materials, centrifugal spin velocities... all that and much more can be calculated. And if for one case that such a throw would result in number 3, a perfect replication of this throw would give us 3 again! So is there chance?
I like how Mr. Lian put it. “Chance is the admission of our human finiteness. We don’t compute what actually happens behind that chance.

I believe, God is in control of all things.

Luke 12:7

“But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are more valuable than many sparrows”

And such is my confidence.

Perfect Fit

The words of my friend Kay Jin still lingers in my thoughts. "Do you believe in coincidance?" he asked. "Certainly there is a divine plan," I replied. "But for what, I may not know yet". Perplexed by the thoughts of a divine arrangement kept me thinking and reflecting on how my life came together like a script perfectly written. I'm not saying my life is perfect, yet how amazingly all things come together around me keeps me believing that there is a Soveriegn God.

As I look back in the days of my High school, my friends always asked of my confidence. "Why aren't you troubled of where you're going? Isn't there something you would like to do? Where do you see yourself in future?". The same friend who asked me these questions is here with me today in UM.

All my life, I've seen how God has led me and my family into difficult cirumstances so we may learn and He would display His awesome wonder of redeeming what's lost. Sadly. it is at troubled times His words speak louder. My family's Exodus from Church to Church has helped us see a bigger picture. Myself in UM has pushed me into a position to be a servant of servants. Relationships cornered me to reexamine my Relationship with Him. In lack I've seen abundance. Indeed. God is in control.

"Don't you think some times we are like stringed puppets on a stage set to entertain the audience of One?" another friend may ask. "A play written by a friend whom I know loves me, I would gladly and willingly follow. May it be bright days or, storms, blessings or perils, I am amenable."

As sacrifice leads to greater sacrifices, will I be able to finally give my all? I know someday the phone will ring, will I be able to say "yes" when I pick it up?

There's a garment already prepared for me. I will grow into it that it may come to me as a perfect fit.

Servant-Hood

I think it was timely that Rev. Steven Kum came here to speak to us about Servant-hood. I think it was refreshing for those who were involved with so many activities in the past few weeks and also a future motivation and a challenge for those who are new to the CF and are thinking of service here in their campus. Many a time, we tend to start off on the wrong foot as we come to serve God and I think what Steven Kum did today helped some of us to re-gather thoughts of what does it mean to really be a servant of God.

Today I discovered the difference between being a servant and having servant-hood. So it seems that a servant is a man who serves. But having servant-hood is an inner self-sacrificial attitude that yearns to serve the master.

In devising how Mr. Lian would argue this point, I'll try to clarify the divide of service and servant-hood. Service is an act, a servant doesn't necessarily have a heart of a servant (servant-hood), but a person with an in-dwelling heart of a servant carry out the act of service due to the nature of servant-hood within. So we can safely say that, the nature of servant-hood produces its fruits which is the act of service, but the act of service alone doesn't mean the servant has the nature of servant-hood. Service is merely the fruit of servant-hood.

Isaiah 6:1-8

1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.

2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying.

3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."
6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.

7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"


Here the prophet Isaiah was first commissioned by God to carry out His work. A servant's encounter with his Master. See that the Master is Holy and even the angels declare of His Holiness with their wings covering their heads and feet for even they are unworthy to see Him!
Isaiah was in awe of such glory and was humbled to see the Lord come and felt unworthy when the Lord drew near.

I think the first thing about servant-hood is to know who you are serving. Knowing your Master and acknowledging His sovereign will over our lives is prime step. Often times we start our service because we are asked to and that we feel that there is a need to fulfill that obligation, yet we tend to forget who we are doing it for at the end of the day. Sure it seems like serving others and perhaps will rub off some joy in the process, but we miss the true joy of knowingly serving our Master. The Joy of the Lord is my strength~!! If we were to serve in such an attitude knowing who we are serving, the Joy of serving God gives us strength.

Common day psychologists will tell you that service with a smile brightens those around you and yourself. Smile gives you the vibrant energy to keep going at what you're doing. What more can the Joy of the Lord do for you? At the expense of your labour, you not only keep going, but it becomes pleasurable to you! Talk about enjoying what you do.

Secondly is that we must be cleansed. Isaiah was cleansed with a burning coal upon his lips. He needed to be atoned of his sins that he may do the will of God. We tend to carry a lot of excess baggage that weighs us down even when we are serving. The promise of redemption that God has given to us on the Cross of Calvary is not always the first place we go to before we start off with our service. We tend to drag along a lot of guilt and ill feelings about ourselves and thinking we're incompetent. Have we forgotten the Grace of God that has been freely given to us? In our innocence before God, we are to serve.

Thirdly we avail ourselves to do His work. I remember Cheffrost is always challenging the juniors to check their capabilities versus their availability. Often times, our capabilities may be great but we do not avail ourselves to the service of God. It is better even if we are incapable of many things and that in our weakness avail ourselves and let God use us for His Glory! In a sense, we now serve as humble servants who depend on His leading and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He becomes our inspirator. Forever Relying On God (F.R.O.G.). God is searching for hearts that are willing.

In verse 8, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!". Isaiah was willing. Are you?

*Actually, every time I hear of the name Steven Kum, I'm reminded of Melalyn about her comments of him.. hehe (ask her to tell you if u're curious)*

Southern Thoughts

Was down in Singapore for the whole weekend and for most of the time that I spent travelling, I invested them in quiet thoughts. There wasn't much to think about but as it went on and on it went deeper and deeper into a maze of principles, ideas and memories.

Singapore tells of many stories in my life. I've been there since I was a little kid and I'm a frequent visitor to that little island. (Though still unfamiliar with the roads..) Stories of old, stories of late. Yet to think of it, it has never really given one to smile about. (Except for that BEAUTIFUL fireworks display at Esplanade 2 years back).

Got involved with the Big walk by Touch Community Services (FCBC) charity event. I think what they are doing there was a good effort to aid the society in a mega scale. There was an estimate of 20,000 participants and I made one more count! We walked from City Hall, passed the Esplanade, crossed over to the Fullerton, round the Central Business District (CBD) then followed down Boat Quay, back to the Fullerton and based back at the Padang at City Hall. All in all took us about 2 hours. Hot and tiring but it was good to catch up with Sunny Tan and made a few new friends. Sunny is down in Singapore making a living. It's his first month and its been good. Didn't ask him much about Mabel, but Eng Huan* said it was an inside joke. Was it her who drove simple care-free Sunny down south? Perhaps love really does take people into extremities.
Eng Huan*, (dude sorry if I got your name spelt wrongly.. well at least I tried.. haha)

There's something in the atmosphere of Singapore that lures me into power and greatness. It seemed like a good fruit to take a bite in and that its telling me if I were to take a bite off it, I'll taste the juicy sweetness within. All the luxury, comfort and security that I can achieve with my potential only if I work hard enough. I do envy the richness of the land. When I start to compare it with Malaysia, makes me want to pack my bags and leave this place. Life is good, who doesn't want it? Come on, take a look at the exchange rate, Income per capita, consider the purchasing power. (You can buy furniture at half the price in Ikea here if you compare dollar to dollar)

But as my thoughts wandered, I begin to ask myself, is this what I want? The luxury, comfort and security invokes a spiritual complacency. Furthermore, it is always a rat race to keep pursuing riches to maintain such a lifestyle down there, it keeps me away from what I intend to do here in Malaysia with my life. Everytime I'm down south, I reconsider making a living there giving up all that I have here. Now I begin to ask, is this what He wants? I know He has plans for me here and perhaps plans in future to move me elsewhere.

I dare not speak about missions in the open though it is a burning passion yet I fear one that I cannot pay the price for. I've always ask what is the purpose of living in luxury that perishes with your earthly body. Yet for me, a mortal being, I tend to enjoy what is presently available and forgetting what is in the eternal. Is the yearn for immediate satisfaction a crime? Or perhaps to mellow my degree of satisfaction to live in contentment? Oh, how great the greed of man whose bellies are ever famished!
(Aiya... these Chinese especially la... Kiasu wan larr..)

If I go... I'll call it the SUDOXE [su,Dok,si] ...(revert Exodus)... returning to the riches of Egypt



-Awaiting orders to heed Your call-

Candy

A little boy not too long ago saw a piece of candy in a candy shop. At first sight he thought it was beautiful with all its blazing colours tipped off with a delightful sugar coated rainbow on top. Everyday he would walk that road and would peer into that shop to see that candy. He wondered if anyone has already ordered it for reservation or just that no one else looked at it the way he did. It was there, hasn't anyone bought it?

He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.

When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.

The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.

The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.

There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.

When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.

Good Bye

There are many ways to say good bye, throwing a farewell party, having a simple dinner, over the phone or blowing good bye kisses at the air port. The out come is still the same. One minute they're there, the next minute, they're gone.

There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.

Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?

There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.

Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference

Broken Vow

I like these songs by Josh Groban, I feel theres a message behind his songs and I think its subtle enough that sometimes even Christians overlook.

Broken Vow

How Paul illustrates that the church is the bride of Christ is very interestingly portrayed in love songs that are sung. A lover who is unselfish and wants the best of his other half. He was even willing to let her go. Let her be herself and all that she wants to be. But amidts his unselfish love for the other, he calls her back into his arms and in the process is really hurt by such rejections that he is receiving.

To put it in harsher bible words, something like Jeremiah who marries a prostitute, and he discovers the pain that God feels when the children of Isreal forsakes God Almighty. Like a whore who looks for pleasures beyond that of her lover's.

He is calling, are we responding? Or are we like whores who say we belong to Him but our eye is not single? Is it not written, " If thine eye be single, you body will be full of light."? Or are we double standard Christians who proclaim Christ but do not live for Christ?

We must learn to love the pleasures of what our lover can give us. A Godly thirst and a passionate hunger to be with Him in Christ. Till He becomes our ultimate satisfaction.

This should be our response,

My Confession - Coming humbled before the Cross

Remember when it rained - Such is a desire, such is a passion.

Demands

What can a servant demand?
Whom can he authoritatively ask favours from?
Why should he be given a chance even to speak?

For one to make demands, he must be in a position to do so. But what justifies such a position?
Perhaps for a politician = great political influence
for a business man = great wealth and success
for an experienced engineer = a mega scale project portfolio
for a doctor = great number of lives he has saved

But what of a servant? Even the head of servants must listen to orders. If given orders from his Master, would he then be given the power to demand of other servants?

I think in this age of liberalism, we have lost sense of servants and masters. Everyone is a master for himself. Liberated he does all he likes. Pleasures of his own for his own glory forgetting a debt he owes his master.
Now that he has forgotten that he is a servant, he responds in his own greatness to demand of others to accomplish his will, but not the will of his master.

I'm questioning the existance of 2 points of power to demand.
One given authoritatively,
Another by selfish ambitions.

Now what of this leadership? As cheif servant, whose will am I accomplishing?
Mine?
Theirs?
or His?


A great man indeed I am not,
By the heel as I run, I'm caught,
To stop and give this a little thought,
Is there worth at all, the fight we've fought?
Was it for our own glory?
Are our offerings to You worthy?
To me, why have You given such?
Me a rusty dime, I don't worth much.
Am I in a position to demand?
If given authority by Your command?
Is there something I don't see?
Oh Lord, you lead me, you lead me.

Surreal Illusions

Its almost been like a dream to be here. I've been through a lot of tough times and also joyful times, but nonetheless plenty of lifelong experiences to bring with me as I continue this journey.
Come to think of it, it has been almost 6 weeks and there was lots to learn. Learning is indeed a painful experience and at the same time it brings an odd sense of delight when you know that what you've learnt builds character.

Now I'm left with 2 weeks remaining and I've planned out a whole range of activities here to keep my mind, body and soul occupied. Its an adventure, a physical experiential adventure as well as a spiritual exponential adventure. Indeed the tasks at hand seems daunting, but I feel encouraged by the people around me and those far from me. Thank God for close friends.

Would like to stay for some poetry, but time is of the essence.. perhaps another day~!

Inspired, yet limited... God you lead my words

Touch and Go

Yup, I was back in KL but it was certainly a touch and go thing. But I'm glad to make it back to do some important things here before I continue my 4 weeks back in Gua Musang. I've missed out on alot and I guess its time to catch up on somethings and get myself boosted again.

Came back on Thursday night and it was great cuz mom had made me some soup which I craved for nearly 3 weeks now. It was satisfying and I needed nothing else for dinner.
Went to Ps. Kelly's place and I once again found myself in the midts of Christian Fellowship that edifies one another. Certainly it was a good time of praise and worship as well as sharing. I was daring enough to share about my own seekings and my thoughts on Isaiah 6. I think God really spoke to us that night because the songs that were sung and the things Ps. Noah and Ps. Kelly and also my personal sharing with them was in coherence.

Spent some time with my parents that Thursday night and really missed them. Though we were not allowed much time to be together but I just let my heart pour out on the things I will be doing and what God has put in my heart the past 4 days.

Friday was almost a full day near UM area.. went to the faculty in the morning to check my results .. I think it was pretty good... except for 1 paper... may have to re-sit that one.
Found out who my industrial attachement lecturer was and we're supposed to contact her ASAP.. which we've not done yet..
Went out with Christopher and Lydia for lunch then went to the Ikano power centre and then The Curve
Came home about 5.30pm and wanted to sleep a while but received a call about 6.10pm and rushed back to UM in response to that call.. I'm glad I answered that call back to Uni, I think there was much to be settled that day and I really Thank God that we did clear somethings that should have been clarified earlier. I felt a great sense of release and a certain joy over it, but there's still something missing... perhaps it will remain missing.
Having see Sae-rom and her brother Elmo (cute name~!) and some of the other PKVians again was indeed good for me in a sense that, I've been so socially deprived back in Gua Musang, I just wanted to talk my heart away with them.. I had fun that night~!

Saturday was a busy busy day..
Went out with the Beautiful Gates people and took them to the KLCC for the book fair. It was nice having them around and just helping them to get about, but I didnt really get to socialize with them because most of them spoke only mandarin, I felt so deprived of the ability to communicate... A few PKVians and a few of Mei Si's friends from different universities. Only Johnson and I were the guys from PKV... but we had fun.
After that we went into Suria for a while and tried to get them some food before they left, but it was so crowded there so Mei Si packed KFC for them to take with them to bring back to BG

Mei Si, Yee Voon, Mei Han and I went to watch the Da Vinci Code.. missed the show a little bit cuz we were late .. up till now, I've not eaten nor drank anything.. Yee Voon was merciful enough to spare me some fries and water in the show... haha Thanks alot~!
The show was okay, but I think those who read the book would have gotten a better picture of what went on in that show... Screenplay was average, not much of emotions involved.. Storyline, its the book.. quite true to the book but it lacks some description of what went on behind certain scenes... (they had to cut .. it was freaking 2 and a half hour long)
Towards the end of the show, Yee Voon and I were already starting to doze off.. haha not that it was bad, rather it was quite draggy.
I certainly hope the audiences watching that show would be able to differentiate fact from fiction


came back at about 6.30 and was expected to go out again to Amcorp Mall at 7.15 .. so not much breaks in between and we're rushing off again.
Celebrated Yee Voon's birthday with Goon, Tux, Chong Ee, Gin Li, Fanny, Ginny and Leena.
It was wonderful to see them all together again, though we're missing some of us out, but I really missed them all~!
Went to A&W later to have round 2, then CE showed his masterpiece presentation specially done for Yee Voon .. so touching~!

Well, that's all till now.. I'm sitting in front of the computer blogging... its 1.30am now ... will be leaving tomorrow at 6.30 morning .. haha
Better get some sleep before I do that~!

Lack of time...

I was going to post a long blog here, but sadly.. haha I've got no time to blog now lehh.. so many things to type in 2 hrs only ... limited cybercafe time la...

well.. perhaps more time to blog the next time..

PKVians are back and ready to perform.. I hope .. haha

I'm well...

Waking up to the aroma of "Waste PO Sludge"

Okay, this blog was supposed to be a parody to Lydia's blog but I feel it crumble beneath it all~!

There were so many things on my mind to blog about through the 2 weeks but all of a sudden, as I stare at this computer screen in this awfully ventilated cyber cafe, my brains malfunctioned. Further more, its wise to blog first before you check your mails... or other blogs.. or any other things.. Ideas just fade away with the presence of new thoughts~!

Well, first off, PO means Palm Oil .. we call our products CPO here (Crude Palm Oil)
Every morning the routine is such that I will have to collect a sample from the Separator (separates sludge from oil) and do a test... I've gotta bake the Sludge to remove water traces to analyze water content, it smells like rotten cookies~! (well we nicked name it "cookies" already)

Its been laid back here, but in saying so, the phrase "working like a cow/dog" still very well applies .. hehe .. you've gotta toil hard in the day, then its silence at night ... lots of time for yourself.

Ppl here are UNDERPAID~! My sis sits in an office airconditiond for 7 hrs answering phone calls and is paid RM80 a day ... my co workers here gotta work minimum 8 hours and is paid RM 18 basic... some of them work up to 16hrs a day if they are called into overtime~! which happens all the time ... and are paid only at RM3.47 per extra hour~!
well.. I'm not expecting much of a pay.. so its ok for me...


My host (my friends father) was actualy a Christian... we were talking the other night about religions .... It wasn't really much of a discussion, rather a lecture. More it a one sided view on religion.
At first I thought Mr. Michael was a free thinker. He started off with "it doesn't matter what you believe in". He talked alot about his past, he was a Methodist and his grand father was a pastor. Then he talked about his own seekings. He compared many religions and he came to the conclusion that the Quran holds the absolute truth!

This was where the talk got even more interesting. I came to find that he was a rogue Muslim. He believed in the Quran but does not associate himself with other muslims and he is dissapointed with the Muslims today.

I didnt want to say much. Nor was I given a chance to say anything. But I believe that God has opened a door for me to touch a life. It scares me at this point because I'm not even sure what to say.

O'Lord that You will be my guide and guard my heart and mind. That You would lead my lips

One thing he put as a bottomline. To deny the deity of Christ. Because it was written in the Quran. He holds on to its absolutes and is already influenced by it to think from that point.
He said God needs no intercesors.. (as Christ was to him). I've really gotta watch my talk.. perhaps I'll be able to make him think otherwise someday.


I think I'll write what I do best..

Days are early,
and so are the nights,
Waken to natures awesome beauty,
Slumber in Evening's cool delight.
Toil by dawn, surrendred by dusk,
The stench at work, a pure disgust,
Such is the life in a little town,
But with Him around, I do not frown,

Missing the days back in the city,
Where people are always busy, busy, busy.
Dare to say I miss the hustle,
Thinking much about having a waffle.
But now alas, I'm already here,
Maketh me the best of it,
Succumbed to change I was ready to bear,
Learn something new, adjust abit.

In its cloudless gleam,
The moon lit so dim,
No doubt a clear sky,
Is this how the twilights die?
Shattered within in thoughts and desires,
Drown in floods, burnt with fire,
All that's left is an owls night call,
My dear, my dear, do you miss me at all?

My brains are drained, I can write no more,
In the heat of this cybercafe, I can script no further,
Well, most of it was for my heart to pour,
My thoughts, my thoughts, come gather, come gather!


Jesus, my Savior and Lord~! A name beyond names, I will never deny~!
Dear Lord, My love for you a new~!

8 Weeks

This is it~!

Gua Musang, here I come~!

8 weeks seems to be a long time. So many things are yet uncertain about where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.. Guess there's nothing more but to go there and let God lead me.

One of the biggest thing for me about going there is not because of the Training, but its more spiritual. I'm going there expecting something from God, perhaps in its silence and serenity, I'll find my self truely escaped from the "systems" that govern society in the big cities. Without such a hold on me, perhaps... just hopefully perhaps, I may truely discover my identity in Him.
Lord I'm looking for a new revelation of You~!

---

Separate ways,

For alot of my friends, PKVians or Ex-Classmates, we'll be away for this whole semester break.. I miss my ex-class mates cuz this is about the only time in the year that we can really get together before another year begins.. for the PKVians, I'm so used to seeing them all the time, not seeing them is... different.

I'm blessed, for today I was able to see someone go. I wasn't much of a Good Bye, no long Sayo-naras or lenghty waves.. but to see her off was to me a reminder of the things which are ahead of me and that each of us also has our own responsibilities.That's reality I guess... Though, I know I'll miss her much.

---

Last Words

This may be my last blog entry before I leave for the 8 weeks. May not be able to continue to blog like this once I'm there. Not sure If there'd be any convenient access to the internet.

May God be with all of us and may this Holidays/Training/Coursework/Special Semester... be a fruitful one~! Commit it to the Lord, have Him in your thoughts daily~!
Seek and Ye shall find~!

Chef-mastery

This old fasion rice cooker was a gift from my grand mother for my parents wedding. It has served us, fed me to who I am today. Without which I would not have tasted life as it is been and will be for me.
I can't say thank you to a pot, but I'm thankful for the riches of His providance and for those who took care of me thus far (my parents).

It is also partialy it's (the green thing up there) fault that because of "it", many of my friends know me as a "rice basket" a.k.a "Fan Thung" (cina speaking)
I love rice.. I cant go a day without eating rice.. not satisfied till I get enough of it before the day ends.. its heaven to have nasi lemak every morning for breakfast .. (I actualy dont mind)


Got to really learn how to cook these days...
Going to Gua Musang without such a skill is a handicap
Gotta befriend some of the locals there and ask them to teach me their traditional ways of cooking ... I'm sure they make really nice food there...

I was in Borders today with Amy and Macy ... stumbbled upon a few cook books... one by Anthony Bourdain.. then it dawned on me.. "Hey, dont leave the kitchen to the Girls~!"
Gotta survive there also and if I and Tux dont learn to really cook.. we're not gonna eat Nasi Kandar for 8 weeks straight (though rice larr.. but every meal .. a bit too much liow lor)

I tried cooking today... wont tell what I cooked... cheated a lil la.. Dad helped wan... my great teacher now...

Realized cooking is much like chemistry, know your ingredients, know what you want to "synthesize", follow procedure, a hint of spicy creativity .. some minor "data" adjustments ..(haha), control temperature, observe timing, at the end of it all settle it all down and make it look beautiful...

That's what I call cooking-chemistry..

It is finished

Bloggy bloggy~! .. how have you been?
For long I've ignored your little window,
So much I've touched and seen,
My little brain my biggest memory theft,
Tonight I'll word what's left,
Only as fragment historical shadows.

It all started with Organic Chem 2,
then came Maths Asas next in que,
Industrial Chemistry followed suit,
Gave me a few days break but still enroute,
Then Analytical Chemistry came to haunt,
That wasnt the end of the daunt~!
Polymer took the Best of me today~!
(Actualy cuz I only gave 1 and half day to study lar)
Right now I can finaly shout "HooRay~!!!"

Actualy this blog wasnt made to rhyme,
but words came from time to time,
know not when, know not why?
Perhaps its just a hearts cry?

Though my mind feels liberated,
My heart and soul remains captivated.
Prisoner of my own words,
Yet a prisoner gladly be.


Hmm but going to Gua Musang soon already, kinda feel uneasy about the whole thing, being away for so long and all that~! I'll certainly miss the ppl here.
Seems like there is so much to prepare but unsure of what to bring.
So many things would be left here to be done but I wont be around, PKV activities still in mind.
What to expect? Who is my lecturer taking care of me? What must be done before I go?
Registration also not open for me yet??


----

Checked out from college today~!
No longer staying in 4th liow~!
Its the end of my college life~!
Now there's a problem~!
Where am I going to stay~?!
(At this point... some ppl will say that I deserved it... "ha.. didnt find earlier lor..")


----

Ivy~! Are you coming back??~!!!
Missed you so much lerr~!
Hope to see you on Zacky's Birthday...
What are you gonna get ur lil bro?


----

Aitez~! this concludes the journey of year 2,
Lots of Red, Greens and Blue,
Many a test, plenty of trails,
Walked for miles and miles,
New faces came and gone,
Perhaps we'll meet later on,
Learning a new lesson,
To being a better person,
Perhaps to love as well,
or in love, dwell?
Leadership in humility?
May You always humble me.
Laugh and Play,
Fast and Pray,
In gratefulness, Thank You!
Without You dear Father, I know not how to pull through~!