I think when they say "Man perform better under pressure", there is alot of truth in that statement.
This week has certainly been one of the longest week in this semester. Thought its just Thursday now.. it felt like its been a well over a week since I came back from church on Sunday.
I had so many datelines piling this week and there were so many things left undone. Assignments were done till the wee hours of the morning
Sunday night had to go to UM at night for a Group Discussion for my Spoken English for Professional course .. before that it was good that I visited Jeff first at the hospital.
There was a test on Monday so had to study (Dont ask me for the results)
Then the completion of the Flory temperature due Tuesday.. I've learnt alot from that
Had Tuesday to do Agenda for committee meeting also, apologize for the delay (should be prepared well over a week in advanced, n Thanks Cheffy for sending it out for me.. no internet access in college)
Wednesday was lab reports day. I cant believe I actualy wrote 4 reports in a day~! Altogether was 7 reports to had up. On Wed night after Committee Meeting, had to finish up my tutorial for Polymer
Thursday morning had to do another Tutorial for Polymer (Different Lecturer), preparing for the discussion and the discussion was done .. I would say.. it was quite ok lar...
Today~!... I had a break with Razif at the Science Fac Cafe cuz class was canceled .. was thinking that someone else would accompany me .. but.. wasnt free..
Had dinner with Mom and Dad.. KL was really really Jammed.. took them almost 2 hours in the car to get to me.
Went out for a mid-night drive with Ikmal.. sending his sister to IJN .. he just needed a company... its nice to catch up with friends.
Tomorrow morning I'll be in MVEC promoting MAA insurance with MeL*, Macy and Steph .. one more friend I think... 11am till 8pm
Well this weekend, I foresee myself studying Organic at the same time struggle to finish my ISE assignment .. which I've not touched yet.
I personaly think I've achieved more that my whole semester put together in a weel. The next few weeks will be that way.. pushing myself to study.. I really need to now.
Lord, I give thanks to you,
For this semester you have been true,
Never giving me more than I could chew,
You lift me up whenever I felt blue.
Endings usualy come bitter sweet,
Through this sem, it came bit by bit,
At times, thrown into ecstacy,
A jolt of pain, plunges into agony.
But through it all You were there,
One so sure, You always care,
Such beauty and so much Love,
Such passion that comes from above!
Such is the way, teach me dear Lord,
To love like you did, Unconditional, without a cord.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
7 Viruses, 6 Birthdays, 1 marriage proposal and an accident
Its been a wild wild week~!
Yesterday night couldnt get enough sleep
But today bright as can be
My eyes are clear, but still quite lazy.
UM computers are infected with Brontox Virus.
So far I've come to know 7 ppl who were already infected. Me, Tux, Victor, Clara, Keat Leong, and 2 juniors in college.
So everyone using the computers in UM.. Beware~!
It seems that they lurk into your computer via thumbdrive.. and if you are not careful what you open in your thumbdrive you'll get it. Its best you have AVG to protect your PC from it because to date, the other Mega Antivirus companies (McAfee, PCcillin, Norton, Sophos) cant trace this virus.
Use AVG to scan for the virus in your Thumbdrive
6 Birthdays this week and I've celebrated 4 of them...
Happy Birthday again to:
Christopher Choong (Bra-Boy)
Adelene Joyce Williams
Macy, Law Mei Si
Hosanna Chung
Lee Mun Yee
Fui Yen (Singapore)
Its always great to have friends to celebrate with you on your Birthday~!
Fui Yen got more that she asked for this years Birthday...
Melvin finaly proposed to Fui Yen in marriage .. (haha received news from Ivy)
There were candles, violin player and a lovely night sky... so romantic ..(but got a gang of girls there also lar who felt awkward after they surprised her)
Gotta ask Ivy to tell u this tale cuz I'm a second degree witness .. haha
It was terrifying to receive news that my senior had met with an accident.
It was a tuesday afternoon that I heard from Tuxoon that Jeffrey was hit by a car.
I wasnt sure yet what had happened so I was trying to get some info from Erica. They were there visiting him. On that day itself, Jeff underwent surgery.. they had to screw his fractured bones together again.. (when I heard this I knew how serious this was)
I've already spoken to Jeff and as always, I still find him very positive about the circumstances
He told me his heroic tale on the phone.. haha (ok.. the heroic part was added by me.. he humbly denied it)
His pregnant colleague was crossing the street when suddnely she fell.. Jeff saw her falling and wanted to turn back and help her... when he walked onto the street, a Cefiro came and crashed into him, threw him from the first lane to the 3rd lane ... next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.
It wasnt much of a display of the act of heroism .. but the heroic heart that this man has that made that difference. I salute him for that~!
I'd best be leaving now.. gotta go to the dentist today.. got a chipped tooth that I gotta repair .. :P
Dont get funny Ideas and ask me to show it to you.. haha
Yesterday night couldnt get enough sleep
But today bright as can be
My eyes are clear, but still quite lazy.
UM computers are infected with Brontox Virus.
So far I've come to know 7 ppl who were already infected. Me, Tux, Victor, Clara, Keat Leong, and 2 juniors in college.
So everyone using the computers in UM.. Beware~!
It seems that they lurk into your computer via thumbdrive.. and if you are not careful what you open in your thumbdrive you'll get it. Its best you have AVG to protect your PC from it because to date, the other Mega Antivirus companies (McAfee, PCcillin, Norton, Sophos) cant trace this virus.
Use AVG to scan for the virus in your Thumbdrive
6 Birthdays this week and I've celebrated 4 of them...
Happy Birthday again to:
Christopher Choong (Bra-Boy)
Adelene Joyce Williams
Macy, Law Mei Si
Hosanna Chung
Lee Mun Yee
Fui Yen (Singapore)
Its always great to have friends to celebrate with you on your Birthday~!
Fui Yen got more that she asked for this years Birthday...
Melvin finaly proposed to Fui Yen in marriage .. (haha received news from Ivy)
There were candles, violin player and a lovely night sky... so romantic ..(but got a gang of girls there also lar who felt awkward after they surprised her)
Gotta ask Ivy to tell u this tale cuz I'm a second degree witness .. haha
It was terrifying to receive news that my senior had met with an accident.
It was a tuesday afternoon that I heard from Tuxoon that Jeffrey was hit by a car.
I wasnt sure yet what had happened so I was trying to get some info from Erica. They were there visiting him. On that day itself, Jeff underwent surgery.. they had to screw his fractured bones together again.. (when I heard this I knew how serious this was)
I've already spoken to Jeff and as always, I still find him very positive about the circumstances
He told me his heroic tale on the phone.. haha (ok.. the heroic part was added by me.. he humbly denied it)
His pregnant colleague was crossing the street when suddnely she fell.. Jeff saw her falling and wanted to turn back and help her... when he walked onto the street, a Cefiro came and crashed into him, threw him from the first lane to the 3rd lane ... next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.
It wasnt much of a display of the act of heroism .. but the heroic heart that this man has that made that difference. I salute him for that~!
I'd best be leaving now.. gotta go to the dentist today.. got a chipped tooth that I gotta repair .. :P
Dont get funny Ideas and ask me to show it to you.. haha
Friday, March 24, 2006
Man's Best Friend
Three months ago, a stranger came and took shelter at my home. He was shivering, hungry and tired. Lost and alone with no where to go because the place he called home was destroyed by yellow giants that breathed dark smoke through their noses.
Now, he is no stranger anymore, but a friend. But it is today that it was his last day being with us, for today he was taken away.
I will tell you a tale of a creature that changed our perception on how we look at things. A gentleman, loyal friend and a survivor of odds. His (or rather "its") name is Buddy.
Late last year, Buddy came and sought refuge at my house porch from the December rain. At the back of the hill that I'm staying near, there were lots of new development going on and I think that must have caused it to move out to seek refuge among us humans. We we're curious why this dog never left after the rain. We decided to leave it alone and perhaps it will leave later.
The next morning, we saw this lean golden brown dog still sleeping under the hood of the car, perhaps he finds it warm under the engine. Again we left it alone and thought it would leave.
Days go by and still this dog refused to take its leave and continued to sleep at the same spot. Whenever we walked out of the door, it would be alerted and will make way for us to walk past him so as to not obstruct our coming and going. (Such gentleman -- or rather gentledog)
Christmas came and Ivy came back from Singapore and learnt of this dog that was staying outside our porch. It never bothered us so we didnt think of forcing it to leave.. but mom actualy didnt like pets. Ivy started to call it "Buddy", after that we all also started to address him as "Buddy". So that was how "Doggy" got its name "Buddy"
As days went by, it became much closer to family. I wasnt around much as I was in UM during the weekdays, but it seems that he recognises me. Dad began feeding it, mom didnt wasnt really bothered about the dog because he always avoided us so as not to obstruct our activities. When mom goes out to dry the clothes, he will move aside and watch her hang up the wet clothes in the sun. He would also walk beside us when we go down the street just as close company.
There were many nights especialy in February, I would just sit out in the moonlight in the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep but he was there. I began to move closer to him and he would let me pet his head. I've been in really close proximity and he would actualy move closer. A true friend even in the late hours.
I would begin to whisper my prayers to God and he would sit by me to listen. I dont know if he understands anything at all (well I doubt it anyway) but his presence being so close makes me feel that there is a friend close by. At times like these I would gaze into its eyes and wonder, if there is a soul in such a creature. Meek and Loyal, a true friend who sits quietly beside you and listens to what you say.
I wonder do "All dogs go to heaven"??
Late February, Buddy got involved in an accident. He was hit by a truck while it was resting in the middle of the street. His fore-right limb was crushed and he could not walk properly after that. Thankfully he was spared of his life, but we got a little worried because his wounds were open and there was no way that we could assist him because we were afraid to go near him. I've tried to draw closer to him after that but he would evade me. Perhaps he thought that it would trouble us more to care for him. So for the rest of the days Buddy grew thinner because it couldnt move much and spent most of the time resting behind our cars.
Today, a day to be remembered. It was the day we last see Buddy. The dog catchers came and took him away. Just when Buddy was getting better, just when he was almost fully recovered from his open wounds (though he may never walk again). Although handicapped, Buddy did put up a great struggle from 5 men who poised to capture him ... dead or alive. It was a struggle between life and death, decides if he would continue to live here or die tonight.
There is so much more I want to talk about Buddy.
He's changed my way of looking at animals
He's changed my mothers affections towards pets/pests
He's drawn out a deep sense of care for animals from my dad
He's became my lil brother's "first pet"
Good friend, I will surely miss you~!
-in rememberance of Buddy-
24th March 2006
Now, he is no stranger anymore, but a friend. But it is today that it was his last day being with us, for today he was taken away.
I will tell you a tale of a creature that changed our perception on how we look at things. A gentleman, loyal friend and a survivor of odds. His (or rather "its") name is Buddy.
Late last year, Buddy came and sought refuge at my house porch from the December rain. At the back of the hill that I'm staying near, there were lots of new development going on and I think that must have caused it to move out to seek refuge among us humans. We we're curious why this dog never left after the rain. We decided to leave it alone and perhaps it will leave later.
The next morning, we saw this lean golden brown dog still sleeping under the hood of the car, perhaps he finds it warm under the engine. Again we left it alone and thought it would leave.
Days go by and still this dog refused to take its leave and continued to sleep at the same spot. Whenever we walked out of the door, it would be alerted and will make way for us to walk past him so as to not obstruct our coming and going. (Such gentleman -- or rather gentledog)
Christmas came and Ivy came back from Singapore and learnt of this dog that was staying outside our porch. It never bothered us so we didnt think of forcing it to leave.. but mom actualy didnt like pets. Ivy started to call it "Buddy", after that we all also started to address him as "Buddy". So that was how "Doggy" got its name "Buddy"
As days went by, it became much closer to family. I wasnt around much as I was in UM during the weekdays, but it seems that he recognises me. Dad began feeding it, mom didnt wasnt really bothered about the dog because he always avoided us so as not to obstruct our activities. When mom goes out to dry the clothes, he will move aside and watch her hang up the wet clothes in the sun. He would also walk beside us when we go down the street just as close company.
There were many nights especialy in February, I would just sit out in the moonlight in the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep but he was there. I began to move closer to him and he would let me pet his head. I've been in really close proximity and he would actualy move closer. A true friend even in the late hours.
I would begin to whisper my prayers to God and he would sit by me to listen. I dont know if he understands anything at all (well I doubt it anyway) but his presence being so close makes me feel that there is a friend close by. At times like these I would gaze into its eyes and wonder, if there is a soul in such a creature. Meek and Loyal, a true friend who sits quietly beside you and listens to what you say.
I wonder do "All dogs go to heaven"??
Late February, Buddy got involved in an accident. He was hit by a truck while it was resting in the middle of the street. His fore-right limb was crushed and he could not walk properly after that. Thankfully he was spared of his life, but we got a little worried because his wounds were open and there was no way that we could assist him because we were afraid to go near him. I've tried to draw closer to him after that but he would evade me. Perhaps he thought that it would trouble us more to care for him. So for the rest of the days Buddy grew thinner because it couldnt move much and spent most of the time resting behind our cars.
Today, a day to be remembered. It was the day we last see Buddy. The dog catchers came and took him away. Just when Buddy was getting better, just when he was almost fully recovered from his open wounds (though he may never walk again). Although handicapped, Buddy did put up a great struggle from 5 men who poised to capture him ... dead or alive. It was a struggle between life and death, decides if he would continue to live here or die tonight.
There is so much more I want to talk about Buddy.
He's changed my way of looking at animals
He's changed my mothers affections towards pets/pests
He's drawn out a deep sense of care for animals from my dad
He's became my lil brother's "first pet"
Good friend, I will surely miss you~!
-in rememberance of Buddy-
24th March 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Moving on
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,Phillipians 3:13 (ASV)
There are things in life that you cannot hold back in memories for too long without letting go and moving on. There comes a time where a decision has to be made to make progress,
Your regrets, your remorse. Give them to Me, because you cannot live with them.
All seems like foolishness, but may it pass, may it pass
There are things in life that you cannot hold back in memories for too long without letting go and moving on. There comes a time where a decision has to be made to make progress,
Your regrets, your remorse. Give them to Me, because you cannot live with them.
All seems like foolishness, but may it pass, may it pass
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Sharp Words
Words uttered can never be taken back
Words that cut opens new wounds
Like a man shredding a feather pillow and trying to pickup the feathers again in the streets
I'm sorry I had to say those things
I'm sorry you had to hear them from me
Does Transparency Pay?
Lord, u lead and u reign
Words that cut opens new wounds
Like a man shredding a feather pillow and trying to pickup the feathers again in the streets
I'm sorry I had to say those things
I'm sorry you had to hear them from me
Does Transparency Pay?
Lord, u lead and u reign
Monday, March 06, 2006
Gua Musang
That's where I'll be going soon~! (with Soon) .. haha sorry for the punI've just got off an interview with Mr Micheal .. or uncle Mike .. nice man he is, got lots to share about his past experiences. I think from what he says, in taking us, he will expect much out of us because this is a infant growing organization.. so lots of research and self-understanding is much needed to improve efficacy of plant operation. I think there will be a few traits that we may have to learn at first but I think when we get the hang of it, we will have to start off with the real reasons we are placed there... to do research
It looks like a long way from home, but I guess its time to step out of the comfort zones! Life is going to be harder there, perhaps it will push me from where I am now further to be able to withstand the pressures of the working world in future... I realized I can't be stuck in academics all my life... I think that's where most students fear most.. transition from student to a full working adult~!
I'm comforted much knowing that my God is with me all the way and that he has provided for me so as to take up such a challenge. I'm ready for it... perhaps the few weeks of isolation from modernity would help me lear a thing or two .. and maybe with the less distractions I may get to know Him more and more~!
I know I'll certainly miss all my friends for those long weeks, surely we would be dying to meet one another after the long semesters and now the holidays ... I guess this year I may not see some of them back in KL~! *Sigh*
I've made a decision, I'm sticking with it.. so don't ask me again "why Kelantan?". Its a challenge I want to take up, and its a challenge I'll get~!
"God be with me!" --- oh yeah .. it was good that it rained here today too~! Thank God~!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Heavenly Beauty
As I gaze into the cloudless sky,
Countless stars, way up high,
The crescent moon, smiling west,
A joyful night, a glee celest.
Such was the clarity,
in a wide spaced beauty,
yet such was also the darkness,
not being able to see beyond us.
Much like what's deep inside,
Sitting between a great divide,
Beyond that beauty, is there no vision,
No focus, no goal, just driven by passion,
Fear is birthed by her mother, Uncertainty,
What lies beyond that beauty?
What waits for me?
In the deep darkness, I cannot see,
Until I'm there, will I also find beauty?
Perhaps beauty in another way,
But for now I'll live from day-to-day.
Countless stars, way up high,
The crescent moon, smiling west,
A joyful night, a glee celest.
Such was the clarity,
in a wide spaced beauty,
yet such was also the darkness,
not being able to see beyond us.
Much like what's deep inside,
Sitting between a great divide,
Beyond that beauty, is there no vision,
No focus, no goal, just driven by passion,
Fear is birthed by her mother, Uncertainty,
What lies beyond that beauty?
What waits for me?
In the deep darkness, I cannot see,
Until I'm there, will I also find beauty?
Perhaps beauty in another way,
But for now I'll live from day-to-day.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Coded Language
Can one learn to truely understand another?
Can one know exactly what the other person is saying?
Can one read a person's body language and tell what the other is hinting?
Can one see between the lines of what the other is really writting about?
Can one understand why was something said or written by another?
Can one feel how the other person feels in all of his/her expressions?
Can one learn to truely understand another?
I've come to a point where I find myself unable to really listen.
Are you telling me something?
Are you trying to prove a point?
Are you educating me?
Or are you just testing me?
Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. - Pearl Buck -
Questionable Quotes
Can one know exactly what the other person is saying?
Can one read a person's body language and tell what the other is hinting?
Can one see between the lines of what the other is really writting about?
Can one understand why was something said or written by another?
Can one feel how the other person feels in all of his/her expressions?
Can one learn to truely understand another?
I've come to a point where I find myself unable to really listen.
Are you telling me something?
Are you trying to prove a point?
Are you educating me?
Or are you just testing me?
Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. - Pearl Buck -
Questionable Quotes
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Kids
When I say Kids, I don't mean young goats. Rather the implications of young humans taking on the character of little goats~! (So bad a caretaker)
Its all about the way you talk to them sometimes. Gotta be firm ut not too pushy, I'm trying to strike a balance here now..
Yes, I'm stuck with 3 kids for 3 days cuz my parents went to Bangkok with my neighbours on a weekend holiday. So its my turn to be the "babysitter" for the few days (which I gladly agreed at first, I think they well deserve this break).
I was back in time before they got home from school, so 1 point for me! (YaY!)
Took them out to McDonalds for lunch (their request .. so thought I'd make a good impression)
Let them watch TV and play a little bit while I did my work in the evening.
Had to rush out to buy groceries cuz I found out the cupboards were empty (I promised them pasta tonight)
Made "nice" pasta for them, so another point for me ( though they didn't finish em all up)
Pushed them so hard to get them to be ready for tuition. (They were PLANNING to be late!!!)
Got them just in time for tuition, so another point for me (Yippie! Getting good at this)
Had some personal time while they were away.. and watched a super clear DVD of Oliver Twist (Good Show, I liked the emotions and the psychology of it)
Picked them up from tuition perfect timing (though it disrupted my show... half a point maybe?)
Tried to push them to wash up and go to bed, this was tough. Had to really know how to talk to them properly.
Went out with my friends while they were watching TV about 11pm (Bad babysitter, lepaking -- minus 1 point)
Came back aout 12.30 to find them still glued to the Dumb-Black-Box (TV) Bad Bad babysitter -- minus the half point!!
Finally they're asleep (about 12.45am)
Well lots to do again tomorrow, gonna have to feed them, wash clothes, send them to tuitions, bring them out for some fun, and clean up after them...
Busy busy day.. but not with my own work.. haha
I think I'm just not ready yet for parenting.
(I'm amazed how MeL* keeps that balance)
Its all about the way you talk to them sometimes. Gotta be firm ut not too pushy, I'm trying to strike a balance here now..
Yes, I'm stuck with 3 kids for 3 days cuz my parents went to Bangkok with my neighbours on a weekend holiday. So its my turn to be the "babysitter" for the few days (which I gladly agreed at first, I think they well deserve this break).
I was back in time before they got home from school, so 1 point for me! (YaY!)
Took them out to McDonalds for lunch (their request .. so thought I'd make a good impression)
Let them watch TV and play a little bit while I did my work in the evening.
Had to rush out to buy groceries cuz I found out the cupboards were empty (I promised them pasta tonight)
Made "nice" pasta for them, so another point for me ( though they didn't finish em all up)
Pushed them so hard to get them to be ready for tuition. (They were PLANNING to be late!!!)
Got them just in time for tuition, so another point for me (Yippie! Getting good at this)
Had some personal time while they were away.. and watched a super clear DVD of Oliver Twist (Good Show, I liked the emotions and the psychology of it)
Picked them up from tuition perfect timing (though it disrupted my show... half a point maybe?)
Tried to push them to wash up and go to bed, this was tough. Had to really know how to talk to them properly.
Went out with my friends while they were watching TV about 11pm (Bad babysitter, lepaking -- minus 1 point)
Came back aout 12.30 to find them still glued to the Dumb-Black-Box (TV) Bad Bad babysitter -- minus the half point!!
Finally they're asleep (about 12.45am)
Well lots to do again tomorrow, gonna have to feed them, wash clothes, send them to tuitions, bring them out for some fun, and clean up after them...
Busy busy day.. but not with my own work.. haha
I think I'm just not ready yet for parenting.
(I'm amazed how MeL* keeps that balance)
Monday, February 20, 2006
Silent as it is
The fall of a petal,
A chilling cold breeze,
So swift yet gentle,
Silent as it is
The sun’s bright awakening,
Time and again from the east,
The glow of a tranquil evening,
Silent as it is.
Whisper, whisper,
In the thick pale mist,
No one hears her,
Silent as it is.
Broken, shaken,
Her silence stolen,
Unnoticeably abrupt,
Discreetly interrupt,
The earth starts shifting,
The tides start rolling,
The sea turns rough,
Shorelines engulfed,
Mayhem, Destruction,
Misery, Devastation.
Be Quiet, Be Still,
Once again all at peace,
May they then gradually heal,
Silent as it is.
A chilling cold breeze,
So swift yet gentle,
Silent as it is
The sun’s bright awakening,
Time and again from the east,
The glow of a tranquil evening,
Silent as it is.
Whisper, whisper,
In the thick pale mist,
No one hears her,
Silent as it is.
Broken, shaken,
Her silence stolen,
Unnoticeably abrupt,
Discreetly interrupt,
The earth starts shifting,
The tides start rolling,
The sea turns rough,
Shorelines engulfed,
Mayhem, Destruction,
Misery, Devastation.
Be Quiet, Be Still,
Once again all at peace,
May they then gradually heal,
Silent as it is.
A poem I've written over a year ago, just wanted it to be in my blog again in reflection of the Tsunami 2004
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Conversations in my head
Circumstances ground begins tough to swallow,
For what more ahead even harder to follow,
I fear what lies within is really hollow,
And not knowing what will become of tomorrow.
Where lie thee in my need?
Why do you leave me bleed?
Fear birthed amidts uncertainty,
Drives me to the the brim of sanity.
Can you not Follow??
What drownth ye in all thy sorrow?
Wherst from this spirit ye borrow?
Have thou not seen I have cleansed thy feet?
Do the same, May this act repeat.
Fore bareht ye the task ahead,
Set off the journey, I'll make it straight
Toil ye must in the heat of noon day,
But come the evening, gather to pray.
I have you in certainty!
Come follow me!
For what more ahead even harder to follow,
I fear what lies within is really hollow,
And not knowing what will become of tomorrow.
Where lie thee in my need?
Why do you leave me bleed?
Fear birthed amidts uncertainty,
Drives me to the the brim of sanity.
Can you not Follow??
What drownth ye in all thy sorrow?
Wherst from this spirit ye borrow?
Have thou not seen I have cleansed thy feet?
Do the same, May this act repeat.
Fore bareht ye the task ahead,
Set off the journey, I'll make it straight
Toil ye must in the heat of noon day,
But come the evening, gather to pray.
I have you in certainty!
Come follow me!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Sorry
Sometimes sorry isn't enough
Sorry has to come with repentance
Sorry has to seal that action from repetition
Sorry has to have a heart felt grieve
Sorry is but a step in the remission of guilt
I come O Lord thankful of your Grace,
In guilt O God I've hidden from your face,
Ensure me Lord once again,
My heart, my mind in tarnish taint,
Lift me up so I may not faint,
I'll walk with you, in your Grace remain.
"Its hard to say I'm sorry" - Chicago
Sorry has to come with repentance
Sorry has to seal that action from repetition
Sorry has to have a heart felt grieve
Sorry is but a step in the remission of guilt
I come O Lord thankful of your Grace,
In guilt O God I've hidden from your face,
Ensure me Lord once again,
My heart, my mind in tarnish taint,
Lift me up so I may not faint,
I'll walk with you, in your Grace remain.
"Its hard to say I'm sorry" - Chicago
Friday, February 10, 2006
Relativism
Compass of extremes,
Ps. Sivin Kit just gave us a short exposition about "Relativism ... and beyond".
I have learnt a great deal about Relativism these 2 weeks and about how people think based upon their precepts and fore-knowledge. I'm beginning to see how many people look at things influenced by their cultural, religious and education backgrounds, and the funny thing is, they dont even know it~!
What mattered to me wasn't about either being a Relativist or an Absolutist. It was about seeing Christ beyond what these 2 terms meant. For me no compass of extremes can envelop the nature of God. A compass of extremes is infact a limited measure.
Can there be infinite absolutes?
Can there be infinite relativism?
Like how Ps Sivin Kit put it, if a man says that he holds ONLY to relativism, does he already not express the absolute element when he says ONLY? Certainly a direct contradiction. So then can we say that being absolute is the way every man should hold on to? The person will also holds himself back and say, "Depending on the circumstances". (a common safety net)
But for us Christians, its BEYOND all that.
Something I couldn't really agree with Ps. Sivin was that, he said that the Church points to the truth. I would say to an extent that this is true, provided the Church as it is today are in some kind of unification of understanding of truth.
-- To be Continued --
12th Feb 2006
Thanks Ps Sivin on that comment and for that HUGE angpow~! (Didn't really get to read the whole thing)
True Truth (if I may use such a term) is Absolute! God is Absolute! Does the church know True Truth? It just bothers me sometimes to see inconsistancy among the churches today. Perhaps this inconsistency has already begun even in the days of the apostles. It was eveident that in Paul's days, the churches in Corinth and Ephasus were having problems of their own adopting the Christian doctrine in their multifaceted cultural background.
Today, Christians also have different stands of alcoholism and gay rights. What does the True Truth really say about it?
Now back to something I can agree with Ps Sivin is that, he mentioned that the Church does not claim to have the Truth, merely a signpost to indicate the location of the truth. While he was sharing this, a picture came to me. I wish to draw it out here, maybe in another post.
This was how it is to be explained.
At the top was the Church, out of the Church was pointing to many-many directions, but there was one arrow that points down somewhere. This arrow was unique, it can't be moved, it cant be changed, it seems almost like the anchorage of the Church. No matter where the Church moves, the arrow points it down.
Gradualy the Church is drawn towards the direction of where the arrow is pointing. As it moves closer, all the other arrows that point outwards seem to just fade away .. or combines itself with the arrow pointing downwards, they didnt matter anymore.
One day the Church of Jesus Christ will, by His grace, be brought to the knowledge of True Truth and all that is around that seems to matter so much at this point of time will make no sense when we are there.
Well, as long as a Church fully understands their existance here on earth and puts God as a point of referance, I would call it a reliable sign post.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Missing Donkey
I'm sorry Steven, this is the last time I'm tying your name to Donkey.
I'm glad I could make it for such a gathering. A gathering to say goodbye, but at the same time, much felt emotions of missing someone. I can see among the seniors that they really will miss a friend, someone whom they have spent so much time together, doing lots of silly stuff together at the same time having meaningful conversations together.
I thank God I've came to know of such a friend. He has been a great influence (good or bad .. u decide). But one thing is for sure, his life challenged me to think, challenged me to step out, challenged me to look ahead, challenged me to be different if I have to.
I wish you all the Best at all you do~!
Let God lead your life~!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
(Proverbs 3 : 5 & 6)
I'm glad I could make it for such a gathering. A gathering to say goodbye, but at the same time, much felt emotions of missing someone. I can see among the seniors that they really will miss a friend, someone whom they have spent so much time together, doing lots of silly stuff together at the same time having meaningful conversations together.
I thank God I've came to know of such a friend. He has been a great influence (good or bad .. u decide). But one thing is for sure, his life challenged me to think, challenged me to step out, challenged me to look ahead, challenged me to be different if I have to.
I wish you all the Best at all you do~!
Let God lead your life~!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
(Proverbs 3 : 5 & 6)
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Loving God
It is 2am and certainly a wonderful night. As I look up into the heavens, I see a clear and brightly litted sky with shimmering stars and a faded moon glow.
A peaceful sight to behold. Peace, peace...
I reaffirmed my surrender to Him once again.
Lately there was a young hound who finds refuge at my house's porch. A shaky character, I suspect its from the jungle behind my neighbourhood. Lean, young and handsome, yet it is afraid of human. Today I tried to befriend it by sitting with it for quite a while. He began to draw closer to me and licked me, raised its paws and greeted my waiting hand. For the first time I felt we connected. I'm trying to earn its trust.
Then a thought came to me, many wouldn't approach a stray dog, let alone touch it. For those who have allergies or a phobia, thats another story. But I guess, if we can't even learn to love a creature as such, though not well groomed, shabby, untrained, maybe infected with disease.
How are we to love those people out there who are considered outcasts?
I don't mean to equate them or put them lower than dogs. But its the same kind of love that we all share. Are we helping because its a moral obligation as a society, or part of humanity? Are we there to show care just because someone else asked us to do it? Are we just trying to impress others with our pseudo-sympathy?
By no means so, we should love as the Lord loveth, not as something we have or ought to do, but a natural compassion and a genuine kindness. Truthfully I am struggling. Not that I don't care enough, I just cannot love the unlovable the way the Lord wants me to love.
I'm moved by how much love from people like Ps. Hsia and Ms. Chong Kar Yi has for the disabled. And to think that there are many out there who are in need of special care. Not forgetting those who are out in the rural areas. Can I love that much? Love enough to take their afflictions as my own? Enough to share their pains? Enough even just to understand the things they go through? What is this kind of Love?
Lord teach me to Love.
Unconditionally,
Truthfully,
Passionately,
Beautifully.
A peaceful sight to behold. Peace, peace...
I reaffirmed my surrender to Him once again.
Lately there was a young hound who finds refuge at my house's porch. A shaky character, I suspect its from the jungle behind my neighbourhood. Lean, young and handsome, yet it is afraid of human. Today I tried to befriend it by sitting with it for quite a while. He began to draw closer to me and licked me, raised its paws and greeted my waiting hand. For the first time I felt we connected. I'm trying to earn its trust.
Then a thought came to me, many wouldn't approach a stray dog, let alone touch it. For those who have allergies or a phobia, thats another story. But I guess, if we can't even learn to love a creature as such, though not well groomed, shabby, untrained, maybe infected with disease.
How are we to love those people out there who are considered outcasts?
I don't mean to equate them or put them lower than dogs. But its the same kind of love that we all share. Are we helping because its a moral obligation as a society, or part of humanity? Are we there to show care just because someone else asked us to do it? Are we just trying to impress others with our pseudo-sympathy?
By no means so, we should love as the Lord loveth, not as something we have or ought to do, but a natural compassion and a genuine kindness. Truthfully I am struggling. Not that I don't care enough, I just cannot love the unlovable the way the Lord wants me to love.
I'm moved by how much love from people like Ps. Hsia and Ms. Chong Kar Yi has for the disabled. And to think that there are many out there who are in need of special care. Not forgetting those who are out in the rural areas. Can I love that much? Love enough to take their afflictions as my own? Enough to share their pains? Enough even just to understand the things they go through? What is this kind of Love?
Lord teach me to Love.
Unconditionally,
Truthfully,
Passionately,
Beautifully.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
A year ago
This is what I wrote in my friendster a year ago on my 20th Birthday. I dont want to loose it online because I want to write a new one to replace what was on my profile. I think keeping one copy here would be a safe place to keep it on the net.
Now that I'm 21, I guess its time to write a new one.
A Scream pierced Silence like Paper with a Knife,
Seconds before a new born breathed life.
A Scream from a new mother like never before,
Late one night on November 1984.
Nurses took and bathed the child,
Ever so tenderly, ever so mild.
The Doctor said, "He needs special attention,
He's suffocated with severe Mal-Nutrition."
Nevertheless, hard times pulled through.
Over weeks and months, better he grew.
Now 20 years later he's drastically changed,
Now thankful to God for what he became.
My 20th Birthday most meaningful to me,
I've learnt to treasure my friends and family.
Also the second chance in life God graciously given,
Otherwise you'll all know me only in heaven!
I would thank my good friends one by one,
But this poem is too hurriedly done,
If I get the chance, I'll shake your hand,
and say, "Thank you for showing me what it means to be a friend".
Lastly I'd say a prayer just to end,
A message to Heaven now I want to send.
Thank You Lord For all You've done,
You've made me who you wanted me to become.
Use me Lord in all I can possibly do,
I live this life only to serve You~!
Amen~!
Looking back into this piece of work... I've found much errors... haha
But I love to write, I'll keep writting
Now that I'm 21, I guess its time to write a new one.
A Scream pierced Silence like Paper with a Knife,
Seconds before a new born breathed life.
A Scream from a new mother like never before,
Late one night on November 1984.
Nurses took and bathed the child,
Ever so tenderly, ever so mild.
The Doctor said, "He needs special attention,
He's suffocated with severe Mal-Nutrition."
Nevertheless, hard times pulled through.
Over weeks and months, better he grew.
Now 20 years later he's drastically changed,
Now thankful to God for what he became.
My 20th Birthday most meaningful to me,
I've learnt to treasure my friends and family.
Also the second chance in life God graciously given,
Otherwise you'll all know me only in heaven!
I would thank my good friends one by one,
But this poem is too hurriedly done,
If I get the chance, I'll shake your hand,
and say, "Thank you for showing me what it means to be a friend".
Lastly I'd say a prayer just to end,
A message to Heaven now I want to send.
Thank You Lord For all You've done,
You've made me who you wanted me to become.
Use me Lord in all I can possibly do,
I live this life only to serve You~!
Amen~!
Looking back into this piece of work... I've found much errors... haha
But I love to write, I'll keep writting
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Night Flares
Its the first Blog entry for the New Year.
These nights aren't giving me a chance to sleep tightly. Most occuring obscure thoughts keep my mind awake. I can't seem to put a pin on where my mind is wandering off to. So many things flash through in and out. It sometimes tingle my emotions, sometimes they just depress my heart, yet some pains me to think about them.
Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Perhaps something I've never learnt to listen or pay attention to. I'm praying much these days, not sure why, I mean I ought to all the time anyway, but it seems to me that now I have a compelling drive to start seeking. He's got my attention now anyway.
These nights aren't giving me a chance to sleep tightly. Most occuring obscure thoughts keep my mind awake. I can't seem to put a pin on where my mind is wandering off to. So many things flash through in and out. It sometimes tingle my emotions, sometimes they just depress my heart, yet some pains me to think about them.
Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Perhaps something I've never learnt to listen or pay attention to. I'm praying much these days, not sure why, I mean I ought to all the time anyway, but it seems to me that now I have a compelling drive to start seeking. He's got my attention now anyway.
Though the clouds hover,
Though they appear lower,
Much is the moon light,
Still reflecting bright,
Even amidst the tears of the skies,
Its glow never dies,
Much like the thoughts within,
My concentration wearing thin,
Though my mind is tired,
And should have long retired,
These thoughts keep haunting,
No idea why they keep coming,
Have to start putting them together,
To something I can decipher,
I'm sure they mean something,
Until then they'll keep flaring.
Oh God what are you telling?
Must I still wait for what is coming?
Is there a deeper calling?
Or is my mind just failing?
Sorry, I lack understanding.
All this seems so confusing.
-A Peace of my Thoughts-
Even amidst the tears of the skies,
Its glow never dies,
Much like the thoughts within,
My concentration wearing thin,
Though my mind is tired,
And should have long retired,
These thoughts keep haunting,
No idea why they keep coming,
Have to start putting them together,
To something I can decipher,
I'm sure they mean something,
Until then they'll keep flaring.
Oh God what are you telling?
Must I still wait for what is coming?
Is there a deeper calling?
Or is my mind just failing?
Sorry, I lack understanding.
All this seems so confusing.
-A Peace of my Thoughts-
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
en.Zyme
The longest conference I've ever had, having spent 6 days of disengagement with the rest of the world and being stuck there with the same almost 500 people. It was certainly an amazing eyeopening experience. The best thing is that we are all one in the Body of Christ and it strangely felt like home.
God's working in the conference did something in me that helped me change my worldview on certain things. There was much to be learnt and some of which that lingered in my mind were;
That God assured me that I am His son~!
Worship is not merely an act of singing praises unto Him, its a lifestyle~!
There is a battle taking place in the spirit, therefore Pray~!
God uses even the insignificant people to do His purposes
Living selflessly, doing His will instead of our own
Learn to be spiritualy discipline by earnestly seeking Him
Selah - Don't keep walking, take a stop
Reflections - take time to recollect
Be Fruitful and Multiply
On the 2nd Night of the conference, God really had to deal with me. My partiality in spirit had to be smitten. I was selfish to live the way that I am. My ambitions were not glorifying to Him. I knew that for a long time but I've never really let go. I've always had this picture of a man standing one foot in the shadows and the other in the light. I've never budged from that position for quite a while now.
They say there comes a time when a man learns to die to himself and never again to live for his own. To take up the cross and to follow his Master, doing His will and not of our own. I knew I had to Die~! Die the Death of my selfishness and my humanistic desire to live. The time came when I asked Him to pin me to the wall, let me not move so that He may deal with me. I knew my flesh would struggle from giving up my life~! But I had to Die~!
Giving up my life to Him was never easy. Till today I still need His gracious workings to deal with my life for I know that the enemy has spotted me, I believe that they are threatened by my decision to follow Him. I've came to realize that the days ahead of me will not be quiet. The Trumpets will sound and the Battlecry will roar - it is War~!
I rise to Your call at daybreak
A pale blue glaze the heavens make
I lift may hands in morning praise
I thank You again for Your amazing Grace
I leave my shelter and into the field
Indeed the seeds were of plenty yield
I take to arms my laden equipment
And with it a frothy instrument
Towards the sun my back would face
My shoulders broil in the fiery blaze
To the still well I moved to be
There You draw water, a drink for me
For hours toil made heaps of grain
Still for me it is none to gain
Yet a sight to joy despite the pain
Because alone it's You I long to remain
As dusk settles to mark the day end
I start to reflect on how it began
In Your bosom may I truely rest
To be close to Father, the sweetest caress
If there be among you who are reading this, please keep me in prayer at this time. I need the upholding of my fellow brothers and sisters so I may keep steadfast to my calling.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
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