Goodbye 2006

31st December 2006

Done with another year. Its been a good beginning and I think its been a better ending. Surely I thank God most of all for His faithfulness to me throughout this year. Like the man who looked back at the footprints in the sand, sometimes I felt as if He wasn't there with me when trouble times came, but amidts a few trying times throught this year, He has shown His goodness and His presence in my life ever so evidently!

This year I've got the opportunity to strenghten ties with more of my old friends and also got to know a few new ones. I'm really thankful for all my friends who've been there with me, through joy and sadness, leisure and pressure, for the sharing in open and in secret, for laughters that make my jaws ache and quietness for a listening ear... there are so many times in my ups and downs this year that I thank God for sending a friend to be with me!

Family!!! This year I've done somethings that I've never thought possible to express to my family members. For each of my family members I've done something for them on their birthdays. For my mom, a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. For my dad, a swanky steak dinner at Rendezvous. And for my dear sister Ivy, a surprise trip down to Singapore to celebrate her 21st Birthday! Big girl already...

Summary of '06

Started this year as President of PKVUM. Heavily tasked, pretty draining but exciting!
Come February, it a lovey dovey month with Valentines Day in place and all. Came pretty close to getting hooked up with someone. Close...
Had a great Easter party in Mid-March and me for the first time playing "Jesus". Wasn't a walk in the park...
Exams - Exams and more Exams in April!
Spent 2 and a half months in Industrial training after that at a Palm Oil Mill... a Great Experience living in the countyside (Gua Musang, Kelantan)
June, something happened that made me think the world was crashing down on me (~~ Why does the sun keep on shining?~~~), only to find myself landing on a pillow that broke my fall.
Come a New Semester!! Less work load, new Juniors, new challenges, more support.
Debaters calling me back to join them but I declined... once again. Helped them at Haluansiswa and was tempted to join them again.
Projects and more PKV projects
Mid-Sem came, thought I'm gonna do badly this sem for sure~!! So bucking up!!
One week holiday that was half spent in Cameron. Here, there were rumours spreading about me getting too close to someone.
September was a whole month of thinking.. could she be The One? Mid September the question popped up. Friends are asking, parents are curious, buddies are provoking!
Question 2 popped up again in a dramatic way the day 5th Semester ended~! She said "yes".
Study - Dating - Study - Study - Dating - Study - Study - Study - Dating - Study - Exam~!!
Holiday~! One whole month of "Honeymoon". Was down in Singapore to celebrate [V]s birthday!
Late December and my supposedly Final Sem just started and with it came the Winter Holiday Seasons... (I wish there was really snow here... really hot and damp in KL~!!!)
Resolutions for the New Year?? ---- Yet to be made
-- End of 2006 .... awaiting 2007~!! --

Have a wonderful year ahead my friends~!!!

Signing off the last Blog Entry of 2006~!
-everquint-

-END-

Loosing sight of the enemy

Its been a long long time since I've heard, talked, read or even spell this word... and particularly, its gonna be the first time I'm using it on my blog. Little of him has been discussed even in churches, to many his name brings an aura of fear... though we know we should not fear for the battle has already been won... he has become invisible in our thoughts, but still he's very real, just that often times we forget...

Ok by now... some of you would have been asking who "he" refers to... "he" as I wanna put it is such a low-life that does not deserve a capital letter if the word he begins in a sentence though it defies the laws of written English. he is namely satan..
Oh yeah... gotta credit David Choong for the book "God at Work". It struck me here that there is the existence of evil at work too...

satanism has been so gorily depicted in films, stories and even tales of old so much so that it has veiled us from seeing his true nature that many of us have forgotten about... the great deceiver (well, ok didn't really want to put the word great there also... hehe... giving too much credit).
It has been made so "Obvious" that the subtle is neglected. This is also a LIE in itself.

But its true that he is like a roaring lion awaiting for his victims to be defenseless then devour...
he is so much a part of our society today and all that goes on in our mundane lives yet we cannot see him nor see his evil deeds...
The phrase "power of good and evil" seems only to exist in our fairy tales... there's no realistically tangible evidence in our everyday lives...

Today we see the power of evil is also at work in our lives, yet it most often goes unnoticed.
Ever heard a whisper in your head telling you to do something you shouldn't?
Ever thought of cheating in even the little tests?
Ever thought of getting away with not paying for your meal?
Ever thought of giving a bribe to your friendly neighbourhood traffic policeman?
Ever thought of putting the blame on your little brother and getting away with it?

What are his fiery darts?
The enemy doesn't just lunges big hoops of flames causing us to instantly crash and burn, but they hits us fiery darts and lets us slowly bleed to our death. These darts are called LIES.
Lies is the deadliest weapon because it confuses the mind and hurts the soul. Lies puncture our armors slowly, doesn't seem to hurt or bothers us at first. Probably feel a sting or two and we feel uncomfortable about something being said or done to others. But if we don't find the root of why we do certain things that we know it is NOT right yet we allow ourselves to "indulge", we will never be able to identify that these are lies we live by and commit ourselves to discipline.
One of the biggest lie today is Self Deception. When we deceive ourselves, we can even repel rebuke. We will turn a deaf ear to correction and we continue to walk in a path we think its "right".

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 4:17

When individuals start cheating themselves, they start cheating others around them as well. Some people call them hypocrites (Which I think most of us are), and some are out right liars. Cumulatively, it spawns a society full of liars, cheaters and even mockers. Now we get a macroscopic view of he problem. Corruption, bribery, tax evasion, organized crime, and even murder. Small little things in life that sparks a chain of events can result in heavy consequences. A little giving in and ignorance is all it takes to create a fault, destined for a tragedy.

There are demons at work!
They are out to get us!
We need not fear because we know the Truth!
But we have to be vary of their presence lest we are caught off guard!
Be vigilant with our thoughts!
Be watchful of our actions!
Have we forgotten?
The great tempter is roaming over the earth waiting to devour!

Tale of 2 tourists

It was 6.40am. The pesky buzz of "Encore", sung by JayZ with Linkin Park was screaming in his ear. "Argghh.. I need some more sleep~!!", He said to himself and gently pushed the side buttons of his phone to Snooze the ringer. ZZZzzz... He fell back into deep slumber.

6.48am, "Ding Ding Ding Ding... Thank You Thank You~~~...", off the alarm ringer went again. "Who would have thought Motorola would make the snooze for only 8 minutes? So odd!!" He thought to himself, "And its got no option to set it longer or shorter! 8 minutes? So weird~!"
Dazed and feeling a little blur he made his way into the bathroom to take an early warm shower.

After a quick shower, he was reminded of a comment someone once said to him, it was more like a question. "Where are you from sir?", asked the man at the ticketing counter. "Oh! We're local, from Kuala Lumpur," he replied feeling a little awkward. "Sorry sir, I thought both of you were from Hong Kong." the man commented. Then he just smiled and thought to himself, "was that a positive comment? Or do I just look weird?"

Because of that, he made up his mind to do something different today. He sent an early SMS to his darling that read...
"Morning dear, did you rest well? I was just thinking of doing something cheeky today. Wanna dress up like tourists? Add a sunglass or a cap perhaps? See ya later~!"
She didn't reply so he assumed she'll surprise him.

She came to his house about 7.30am dressed in pink with a neatly folded pink scarf. It was given to her by a dear friend. A beautiful scarf to be worn by a stunning mantrap. He was dressed in a hawaiian shirt and had a sombrero shape-like hat. No, he lost his sunglasses a few months ago. Much regretted.

She had some business to settle so they went to her uncle's place to get books from her cousin sister and he had a short chat with her uncle. (Ooo.. getting to know the family better ehh..) They both left the house at 8.10am and it was still early (so they thought). They parked straight into KLCC's underground parking lot. Both of them were really excited for the day's events and they got out of their car quickly and tried to hurry to get THE tickets.

Well, yeah as many of you would have guessed. THE tickets were to allow them to go up to the skybridge. Something they've done before, but not satisfied the last time. For today it was clear blue sky and the view from up there would have been nothing but Spectacular!!

Then they made their way to the ticketing booth and was there about 8.30am sharp. Early... but not early enough~!! There were soooo many REAL tourists there already waiting for the free tickets to go up the skybridge... aww (sob**sob**) both of them were devastated! They couldn't achieve what they came here to do. But little did they know... this was only the Beginning~!

Perhaps it was because of this disapointment she made up her mind to spend quality time here with him since they were already here anyway. It was their first time at KLCC so early in the morning without anything to do! All dressed up, for NOTHING?
"No way~!" she exclaimed, "we're not gonna be so dressed up so early in the morning for nothing!".
So she asked him to take her to the park, since the sunshine would have done them much good! Both he and she headed towards the park with her trusty camera.

As they closed in to the park looking like a couple of tourists, they started pointing high and low. Up at the twin towers he exclaimed, "Whoa~! those are the 2 tallest twins in the world~!"
"Wah, look, the sunlight is reflected by the windows of the high rise building lar!" she shouted in awe as she examines the aluminium platings and the glass panels off the building surface.
"Wah!....wah!...wah!!!", and the "Wah!"s kept on going as they headed towards the fountain..
"Wah, thats a fountain? so many holes at the bottom but no water flushng up geh??"
"Wah, but its such a big pool of water for a fountain!". "Wah, the water so clear la!"...
"(Sam-Pat betul lerr)," some of the other local visitors thought to themselves.

Then she took out her Secret Weapon. A gadget that freezes time and seals it as long as bits and bytes exists. A Nikon Coolpix that is willing to their "Cool" shots. It was kind of their first time taking pictures together so they were quite shy about it. But to start the lenses clicking, he was willing to let her shoot him a few times.


The "Korean" Guy

But it wasn't fun taking pictures of only him, so he persuaded her to let him take pictures for her instead, so she reluctantly agreed, then only willingly took one picture for her.


The "Korean" Girl

Pretty soon the camera lenses got warmed up and so did she, it was time for him to convince her that they should take a picture together. She became so shy, so he kinda had to force take a picture that looked plain weird.


"Let me tell you something...", he said
"Is he trying to kiss me?", she thought **blushes**

Then as the sun started scorching the earth, so did it heat the atmosphere and the shots were getting warmer. Though they didn't manage to get up to the skybridge today, this was the best view they could get of the bridge from ground level.


Aiya~! Whose hands are those?
Kacau-ing the view only~!!

And the Sam-Pat-ness (38-ness) continues as they kept playing with the camera.

Kawaii-neh~!!


Why so mad lehh...??
Aww, darling sayang!

Well when 2 Sam-Pat (38) people get together armed with a camera in hand this is what you get...


Eii, he can roll! She can't...


Budak Getah


The next Bond Girl?

But as the morning progresses, the sun rays were getting a little too intense for these tourists and their legs were growing weary from walking around the park. He took her by the hand and led her to a shaded bench and they rested there. Rested from the walk and also rested from their talk. It was a sudden mood change, all along earlier in the day it was cheerful, loud, noisy and funny but now things were going mellow. Their voices were lower, their speech became slower... it was a new morning, the sun has already rose to a good angle, good enough to cast a shadow off a slanting tree by these two, and good enough to produce a Rainbow as the spinklers went off to water the trees in the park simulating the morning dew.

The rainbow always reminded him of a New Promise, a hope to hold fast to.
"I wish this moment never ends", he whispered to her.
"Can we freeze time?" She asked in reply.
"We can't, but we can always look back in time," he answered and took her camera from her hand and took a snapshot that would remain in their memory as well as in data form.


Sands of time can never stop falling,
But we can always look back to cherish a moment.


This I promise you

Its getting late! No matter how much sticky tape the janitor had put on these benches to keep couples from leaving would never work. Its almost 10am, they've gotta go! Otherwise his phone will keep buzzing because he was expected to be with his buddies soon after. Both of them were running on empty tanks, her stomach was growling, his was already singing "Ooohh... Gardenia~~!!"

They walked back into KLCC hurriedly and went back into the Atrium. Both forgotten where they had come from so they were just wandering around that area for a few minutes. She stumbled on to a watch shop that sold fancy looking watches going cheap!
He asked her, "Why not take a look, you've been looking for a watch for quite some time right?"
They began looking for a suitable pair. It was 2 pieces for RM 30, so it was well for him to get one too.. Quickly they decided on 2 pairs and he bought it for her and one for himself. It wasn't a pair of look-a-likes because they considered the praticalities that if its different, they could swap watches whenever they liked.

After that little distraction, it was high time they find their vehicle! He was running late! She was hungry! They were LOST! Two blur "tourists" traced their way ack to the parking lot but they had forgotten which floor the car was parked. He paid the parking ticket as a gamble to get out of the car-park before the grace period expires. She helped him hunt for the car.

As they wandered aimlessly amongst the parking lots, a kind stranger offered his help.
"Excuse me, where are you both off to? Are you lost?".
She with in her panicky state resolved herself to a calm cool behaviour and replied,
"Oh no sir, we're just looking for our car." Smiled, turned away... blushed a little and the two burst out in laughter as they saw the man going in through the glass doors.
"We're really lost aren't we?" He said to her.
"Haha, I guess so," she replied.
He apologized and regret that he should have parked outside near the KLCC park.
"It's okay la, fun isn't it?" and she continued laughing.

Very soon, he was convinced that they were at the wrong floor and they needed to go one more down. Once they were down, they immediately spotted their car and quickly jumped into it. "I guess we've got one more thing in common," she commented. "We're both blur when it comes to remembering where we've parked our car!".
"That's a serious problem isn't it?" He replied, "we'd better fix that hunh?".
She gently replied, "we don't have to, I'm happy to have a company just as blur as me!"

[Fragile] - Handle with care

I'm not sure how true this news is, but I just heard that the 8th College President just passed away yesterday in a freaky way. He just went in his sleep after watching TV with his friends in 8th college. All of a sudden, he was just taken away like that. It doesn't scare me much in that way, for the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. It just makes me ponder over what I have now and what I would have left in this world after I move on? What would I take into eternity with me?

Sense, Smell, Touch, Feel, Taste, Thought, LIFE. The consciousness of the existance of Self.

Today I looked back into the looking glass and saw myself. Who have I become. Who am I becoming? My year as a 21 year old has gone and passed. But I've treasured every moment of it. I've learnt so much more than that of the other 20 years cumulatively! .

I've learnt how to be a leader, a big brother, a teacher, a good friend, a listener, and to love others like Christ did. Of course, there may have been ups and downs. To come to think of it I'd probably recall 4 ups and 2 downs that were intensely significant. But in general, I think I've grown more maturely to walk the path of a man. It was part of shaping my character, grinding off the rough areas and chipping back on what doesn't belong. I've learnt to let go of somethings and embrace a few new ones. I'm thankful that now my life shares with someone else other than me and my family. It feels different, unexpected yet a thrilling experience that I'm giving time to adjust to. Amidts all these things that has been going on in my life, it seems like I've still got a long way to go.

But what "if" something would have gone wrong? Or time's up? What would I have gained? What would I have lost? What would I be like in eternity? What can I take with me? What do I leave behind?


Ye Mortals that are likened to a brittle wick,
Cease to breathe by a simple flick,
Even to a drop of water on a pebble break,
When ye perish, not thy choice to make.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You~!

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding~~
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're far too kind~~!"

I wanna thank all my friends whom which I've recieved many many well wishes.
Simple ones, Funny ones, Philosophical ones, Weird ones, Poetic ones, Lovely ones, Long distant ones, Sophisticated ones. Thank you all~!

Though there's the exam papers bore in thoughts all day long, I hardly had the mood to really celebrate my birthday, and knowing that everyone around me was either too far or too busy I wasn't really expecting much this year. The day went on just as any ordinary morning, just that the hand phone was heavily bombarded till late afternoon.

But retiring to the evening, it was nice to have a quiet dinner. I needed to babysit the kiddos cuz my parents and my neighbour attended a wedding dinner. So I packed chicken rice for them earlier. It was nice to share sometime "babysitting" the kids when I brought them to KLCC park. Just felt a little bored at home cuz I wouldn't let them play the computer... (they've played it for 6 hrs in the morning~!!). Had a lovely night drive round town and back. Wasn't raining, really cooling. All the while there was still Monday's test in my head and I was already feeling a little dozy from the day. All in all, thanks dear. Really appreciate all you've done~!

Well, I'm 22 now~! Its 11 x 2 hehe... Significant number 11.

All through the day many a cheerful ring,

My little gadget continues to sing,

Friends with all their well wish bids,

And an afternoon well spent with kids.

Much solitude even as evening draws nigh,
Left my spirits in a irksome sigh,
The moon absent in the November sky,
Am I expecting something? I wonder why?
Then came a familiar glow,
Not from the sky, but here below,
Brought to me my feed for the eventide,
And some time well shared late into the night.

To the Lord above I say thank you~!
For friends who stick through and through.
Once again as I reflect on those around.
They've always put my feet back on the ground.
Dear friends, I can't thank you enough.
Thick or thin, smooth or rough,
May His love we continue to share,
Amongst ourselves, and to others out there~!

Birthday --- Exams

Every year without fail I run into this dilemma of 2 worlds. To celebrate or to dread studying.
Yup, I'm taking the liberty this year here just to share a little bit of what I go through in the recent years.

I love the number 11. Ok, November 11 is special to me (Obviously... if u don't yet know.. its my BIRTHDAY~!!). And to add to that effect, I was born at 11:13pm at Hospital Besar Cina Kuala Lumpur. Yeah, I guess you could say my dad was 2 minutes late to register me exactly at 11:11pm, but I'm still glad.

The date itself is very easy to remember, and you've guessed it, my SMS inbox is being bombarded by friends from every circle. Friends of Old and friends of Late, from old church, old school mates, Serayians and Victorians, PKVians, Old fellow Campers, UM-ers, Bestarians, and family members. Just wanna shout out a word of THANK YOU to all of you~! (Yeah, thx Kim - all the way from Auzzieland~!)

But the sad part is, ever since High School days, espcially when we're taking Major Exams (SPM and STPM), my Birthday Falls on the Exam period~!! I think I was taking Biology STPM on my 19th Birthday. Ever since I've been in University of Malaya, I've always had posponed birthday celebrations. At those times, It just doesn't feel the same like the old days.

My most memorable birthday was when I turned 18 in 2002. I was in lower 6 and most of us were already in the holiday mood drawing to the close of the academic year. My old school friends with some of my new Victorian friends threw a party for me at my house~! I enjoyed it very very much! It was fun having the whole house noisy with chatters and laughters. Then they brought out the "Secret Recipe Chocolate Banana" cake~! HUGE pile of cream and fudge~! I loved it so much~! It was sooo big we couldn't finish it thought there were so many of us. Those were the days... (or rather that was the day...)

Yup, yet again today and for the past 2 years, Exams and Birthdays clash. My 21st birthday was another quiet one. Just me and my family minus Ivy who was in Singapore, sat at Kim Gary's Mid Valley on table 11 and had a decent meal. (Thanks Ashley for the nice card u made and the guys back from the old school for the cross necklace you people gave, dad and mom for the gold ring)

Today has just begun. My friend is getting married today~! So it means my parents will be going to her wedding and I'll be babysitting the kiddos at home. (Congrats Krystal~! Have a wonderful wedding~!). Well, the day has just begun. At least 1hr and 21 mins through by now already. Who knows what's in store.. haha :)

Birthdays remind me of alot of my friends. Its true when they say no man is an Island. We're all born in a sea of faces. People we meet and get acquainted becomes part of our lives. How well we be friends depends on how much time and exprience we share with them. Throughout our lives we will continue to engage with one another giving and taking from one another till we depart from this world. It also reminds us of what really matters that we do here on earth. Is it worth it all? Can I make a grown man cry? Or a sobbing toddler cease her tears?


What are we doing here?...

Let's study..

Stillness

In the midts of silence you hear nothing,
Grass fields of tranquility, there's wind blowing,
An easy breeze after the rain but no trees brushing,
It is still, calm and serene.
Time for solitude and placid.
Nature is quiet, not even whispering.

Much like this blog for quite a while, nothing has been written, nothing expressed. Tonight to break literary absence it would be good to see a few words here.

I've been working on an entry that has forced me to put it into drafts for 4 times now. There are things that I'm still very uncertain of and must be really cautious when engaging such an issue. I think being careless about what is about to be written here is most cataclysmal. Keeping readers in suspense? Not really, haven't found the time to do some research about it anyway.. piled with lots to study and work at hand.

Times have certainly changed for me. I feel like a different man ever since our lecture weeks ended on 20th October. There are certain readjustments for me that I'm forced to make... at least I force myself to make. Its to pave way for what is to come. Everytime I talk about the future, it comes with little uncertainty. Yes today I will tell you again, I'm not even sure what way am I paving for myself. But I'm positive that God indeed has great plans for all of us and that we should commit our desires to Him that He may see it come to pass according to His will. I've learnt to embrace the future with anticipation rather than fear. What is to come, must come because the future is in His hands.

I think I'm very much a man who reacts differently to circumstances, obligations and environment. My stepping down as president has softened myself much more now that I'm no longer in leadership. There isn't a rush inside anymore to have things done or rather see to it that things get done. I believe I've learnt alot from this experience over the past 1 year and I'm sure such an experience would be put to better use in near future. I'm truly glad that there is a bunch of young willing servants who rose to take responsibility over PKVUM and though I'm put off the stage, I promise to continue to inspire~!


There comes a point when a traveller must meet a crossroad and choose his path. Knowing that one road leads to another and that it may not meet once again with the road he formerly negated. But a decision in confidance is but all it takes to keep on moving, aware of someone who loves him is always looking out for him. That is his comfort.
I've made a decision, a commitment, a promise that I intend to keep.


O' Lord, see me to the end~!

Time Gap

Sparingly using a little of my time,
To come up with a simple rhyme,
Class cancelled, a test posponed,
Some ticking-tocks I can call my own,
Time, something I can now afford to abuse,
But only if I could have better used,
Not for long can I keep this up,
Better be wise, don't spill the cup,
My tummy groaning in desperate hunger,
Wonder if the guys are eating? Can't wait much longer,
"Some people" get to eat Italian,
I think I'll only get to savour sub-Asian,
Can we go now? Its singing Gardenia~!
Time's up, gotta face realia~!


Ivan, Grab a Grub and Go Study~!!!

Breaking Silence

Lately there has been flares of questions that heat deep into my heart. Mostly those questions are of external factors, namely from the people around. But me being a good thermos is able repel such heating by choosing to deny certain things that ought to be faced with some level of seriousness.

Further more it is 2 thermos that are repelling flaring questions about "us". On my part this thermos is completely shut. Her part, she's got a good line of defence utilizing denial as a thick thermal barrage. The more intense the flames become, the more we take cover.

But there must come a time when one must start to open to allow a wee hole in the flask to examine the temperatures outside and test if what they say is true? Considering how hot the temperatures they say it is if they are indeed factual. These questions must then be allowed to enter in and be confronted with seriousness.

How is it then when one starts considering, influences the other to consider as well? She's got it sealed tight, unready to peek out. Perhaps a proposition to its reality would break her silence?
Today this thermos is now broken, consumed in flames with questions of "its" probability. The point is now to puncture a hole in her barrage and perhaps, only perhaps, she may shatter her defences as well.

Dear readers, I'm not talking about thermodynamics... Its a change in the point of view that must take place if there were to be a conclusion to questions.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

A little something to inspire Malaysians. I'm not sure if they really published this in The Star newspaper

The Voyage

Sail therefore a mighty vessel,
In its own time, in its own course,
Enduring storms, inhaling in serenity,
Bearing in its load, scores of privateers,
From different races, religion, and peers,
Working in harmony in well earned unity.

Achievements never come overnight,
Nothing was gained without a fight
We see how all things came to be,
As we stroll back into our history.

In the past foreign ships came into sight,
Sails reaching celestial heights,
Gloriously cruising in unstoppable momentum,
Didn’t know they’ve come to take our freedom.

Oppressed we were, submitting to them,
Circumstances made us powerless to overcome,
Robbed our supplies, plundered our feed,
We toiled hard to gratify their greed.

Arose therefore warriors of hope,
To claim once more of what they took,
Brilliant leaders then appeared,
To take freedom by the pen with less blood smeared.

Conciliate then a peaceful treaty,
To honour and respect each party,
Agreeing to work parallel with one another,
Instead of one over the other.

Since then, greater we have become,
On the mast we’re able to see how far we’ve gone,
As we unite and set sail together,
Solving hardships we will endeavour,
Across rough seas was part of the voyage,
In history to us, a timeless passage.

Therefore strive on, and make it known,
Show the world how much we’ve grown,
Pushing the limits, crossing the boundaries,
For the end of the horizon lies countless mysteries.

Until we scorch the sky and fathom the sea,
Patriotic citizens we pledge to be.
For the love of one nation,
This be our bastion.

-everquint-

Thought Coherency

It follows nicely what I've posted earlier, just about 16 hours ago. After Bible Study with Mr. Lian it all came together matched conveniently with my thoughts former. Like I said, its more convenient.. not coincident.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Now, there is nothing on earth that happened in coincidence! Mr. Lian suggested that there is no such thing as luck. Everything can be explained and calculated! A mathematician would say that a roll of dice is by chance.. If you roll a fair dice square enough, the chance for each number to be shown on top would always be 1/6. Throw it frequently enough, it proves that the mathematician is right! There is chances of change~!

But a Physicist would never agree. A dice throw is heavily dependant on all interacting forces that can be precisely calculated, velocity and force of throw, mid air interacting forces, impact and the degree of spin, then the bounce rates of the materials, centrifugal spin velocities... all that and much more can be calculated. And if for one case that such a throw would result in number 3, a perfect replication of this throw would give us 3 again! So is there chance?
I like how Mr. Lian put it. “Chance is the admission of our human finiteness. We don’t compute what actually happens behind that chance.

I believe, God is in control of all things.

Luke 12:7

“But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are more valuable than many sparrows”

And such is my confidence.

Perfect Fit

The words of my friend Kay Jin still lingers in my thoughts. "Do you believe in coincidance?" he asked. "Certainly there is a divine plan," I replied. "But for what, I may not know yet". Perplexed by the thoughts of a divine arrangement kept me thinking and reflecting on how my life came together like a script perfectly written. I'm not saying my life is perfect, yet how amazingly all things come together around me keeps me believing that there is a Soveriegn God.

As I look back in the days of my High school, my friends always asked of my confidence. "Why aren't you troubled of where you're going? Isn't there something you would like to do? Where do you see yourself in future?". The same friend who asked me these questions is here with me today in UM.

All my life, I've seen how God has led me and my family into difficult cirumstances so we may learn and He would display His awesome wonder of redeeming what's lost. Sadly. it is at troubled times His words speak louder. My family's Exodus from Church to Church has helped us see a bigger picture. Myself in UM has pushed me into a position to be a servant of servants. Relationships cornered me to reexamine my Relationship with Him. In lack I've seen abundance. Indeed. God is in control.

"Don't you think some times we are like stringed puppets on a stage set to entertain the audience of One?" another friend may ask. "A play written by a friend whom I know loves me, I would gladly and willingly follow. May it be bright days or, storms, blessings or perils, I am amenable."

As sacrifice leads to greater sacrifices, will I be able to finally give my all? I know someday the phone will ring, will I be able to say "yes" when I pick it up?

There's a garment already prepared for me. I will grow into it that it may come to me as a perfect fit.

Servant-Hood

I think it was timely that Rev. Steven Kum came here to speak to us about Servant-hood. I think it was refreshing for those who were involved with so many activities in the past few weeks and also a future motivation and a challenge for those who are new to the CF and are thinking of service here in their campus. Many a time, we tend to start off on the wrong foot as we come to serve God and I think what Steven Kum did today helped some of us to re-gather thoughts of what does it mean to really be a servant of God.

Today I discovered the difference between being a servant and having servant-hood. So it seems that a servant is a man who serves. But having servant-hood is an inner self-sacrificial attitude that yearns to serve the master.

In devising how Mr. Lian would argue this point, I'll try to clarify the divide of service and servant-hood. Service is an act, a servant doesn't necessarily have a heart of a servant (servant-hood), but a person with an in-dwelling heart of a servant carry out the act of service due to the nature of servant-hood within. So we can safely say that, the nature of servant-hood produces its fruits which is the act of service, but the act of service alone doesn't mean the servant has the nature of servant-hood. Service is merely the fruit of servant-hood.

Isaiah 6:1-8

1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.

2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying.

3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."
4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."
6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.

7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"


Here the prophet Isaiah was first commissioned by God to carry out His work. A servant's encounter with his Master. See that the Master is Holy and even the angels declare of His Holiness with their wings covering their heads and feet for even they are unworthy to see Him!
Isaiah was in awe of such glory and was humbled to see the Lord come and felt unworthy when the Lord drew near.

I think the first thing about servant-hood is to know who you are serving. Knowing your Master and acknowledging His sovereign will over our lives is prime step. Often times we start our service because we are asked to and that we feel that there is a need to fulfill that obligation, yet we tend to forget who we are doing it for at the end of the day. Sure it seems like serving others and perhaps will rub off some joy in the process, but we miss the true joy of knowingly serving our Master. The Joy of the Lord is my strength~!! If we were to serve in such an attitude knowing who we are serving, the Joy of serving God gives us strength.

Common day psychologists will tell you that service with a smile brightens those around you and yourself. Smile gives you the vibrant energy to keep going at what you're doing. What more can the Joy of the Lord do for you? At the expense of your labour, you not only keep going, but it becomes pleasurable to you! Talk about enjoying what you do.

Secondly is that we must be cleansed. Isaiah was cleansed with a burning coal upon his lips. He needed to be atoned of his sins that he may do the will of God. We tend to carry a lot of excess baggage that weighs us down even when we are serving. The promise of redemption that God has given to us on the Cross of Calvary is not always the first place we go to before we start off with our service. We tend to drag along a lot of guilt and ill feelings about ourselves and thinking we're incompetent. Have we forgotten the Grace of God that has been freely given to us? In our innocence before God, we are to serve.

Thirdly we avail ourselves to do His work. I remember Cheffrost is always challenging the juniors to check their capabilities versus their availability. Often times, our capabilities may be great but we do not avail ourselves to the service of God. It is better even if we are incapable of many things and that in our weakness avail ourselves and let God use us for His Glory! In a sense, we now serve as humble servants who depend on His leading and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He becomes our inspirator. Forever Relying On God (F.R.O.G.). God is searching for hearts that are willing.

In verse 8, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!". Isaiah was willing. Are you?

*Actually, every time I hear of the name Steven Kum, I'm reminded of Melalyn about her comments of him.. hehe (ask her to tell you if u're curious)*

Southern Thoughts

Was down in Singapore for the whole weekend and for most of the time that I spent travelling, I invested them in quiet thoughts. There wasn't much to think about but as it went on and on it went deeper and deeper into a maze of principles, ideas and memories.

Singapore tells of many stories in my life. I've been there since I was a little kid and I'm a frequent visitor to that little island. (Though still unfamiliar with the roads..) Stories of old, stories of late. Yet to think of it, it has never really given one to smile about. (Except for that BEAUTIFUL fireworks display at Esplanade 2 years back).

Got involved with the Big walk by Touch Community Services (FCBC) charity event. I think what they are doing there was a good effort to aid the society in a mega scale. There was an estimate of 20,000 participants and I made one more count! We walked from City Hall, passed the Esplanade, crossed over to the Fullerton, round the Central Business District (CBD) then followed down Boat Quay, back to the Fullerton and based back at the Padang at City Hall. All in all took us about 2 hours. Hot and tiring but it was good to catch up with Sunny Tan and made a few new friends. Sunny is down in Singapore making a living. It's his first month and its been good. Didn't ask him much about Mabel, but Eng Huan* said it was an inside joke. Was it her who drove simple care-free Sunny down south? Perhaps love really does take people into extremities.
Eng Huan*, (dude sorry if I got your name spelt wrongly.. well at least I tried.. haha)

There's something in the atmosphere of Singapore that lures me into power and greatness. It seemed like a good fruit to take a bite in and that its telling me if I were to take a bite off it, I'll taste the juicy sweetness within. All the luxury, comfort and security that I can achieve with my potential only if I work hard enough. I do envy the richness of the land. When I start to compare it with Malaysia, makes me want to pack my bags and leave this place. Life is good, who doesn't want it? Come on, take a look at the exchange rate, Income per capita, consider the purchasing power. (You can buy furniture at half the price in Ikea here if you compare dollar to dollar)

But as my thoughts wandered, I begin to ask myself, is this what I want? The luxury, comfort and security invokes a spiritual complacency. Furthermore, it is always a rat race to keep pursuing riches to maintain such a lifestyle down there, it keeps me away from what I intend to do here in Malaysia with my life. Everytime I'm down south, I reconsider making a living there giving up all that I have here. Now I begin to ask, is this what He wants? I know He has plans for me here and perhaps plans in future to move me elsewhere.

I dare not speak about missions in the open though it is a burning passion yet I fear one that I cannot pay the price for. I've always ask what is the purpose of living in luxury that perishes with your earthly body. Yet for me, a mortal being, I tend to enjoy what is presently available and forgetting what is in the eternal. Is the yearn for immediate satisfaction a crime? Or perhaps to mellow my degree of satisfaction to live in contentment? Oh, how great the greed of man whose bellies are ever famished!
(Aiya... these Chinese especially la... Kiasu wan larr..)

If I go... I'll call it the SUDOXE [su,Dok,si] ...(revert Exodus)... returning to the riches of Egypt



-Awaiting orders to heed Your call-

Candy

A little boy not too long ago saw a piece of candy in a candy shop. At first sight he thought it was beautiful with all its blazing colours tipped off with a delightful sugar coated rainbow on top. Everyday he would walk that road and would peer into that shop to see that candy. He wondered if anyone has already ordered it for reservation or just that no one else looked at it the way he did. It was there, hasn't anyone bought it?

He took it upon himself to try to buy that candy and saved up for a month his little allowances and finaly at the end of the month, he walked into the candy shop and found the candy still sitting there. He bought the candy from the shop keeper and went home.

When he arrived home, his father saw him with the candy. Fully aware that he has a toothache that his father knows about, he tries to hide the candy so as not to have the father scolding him because of buying it. But it was already too late and the father had already asked him to produce that candy. He and the father had a long talk and the father concluded that it was up to the little boy to decide whether or not he'll eat it.

The little boy took the candy to his room and gave a long thought about it. Should he eat the candy? His father wouldn't mind. Eating the candy may or may not hurt his toothache. How does the candy taste? His curiousity yet cowardliness made him more and more interested at just admiring the candy but never to put it in the mouth.

The little boy then took it to the father again to ask if this candy should he consume or not, fully aware that his father knows best. Again and again he asked the father but the father chose to remain silent. The little boy didn't know what to do because his father although asked many times wasn't giving him a definite answer on what he should do with the candy he bought. He was bogged with a perplexity for about 3 months since he bought the candy.

There came a period of time that this little boy had to be away and he left his candy at homefar from his sight. The father knowing what's best for the little boy took also the candy to the the little boy's friends house. The little boy's friend delighted to see the candy also expressed a deep interest on it and was asking the father if he could have it. Seeing that it would be right that this candy was to be given away, the little boy's father gave the candy to the little boy's friend.

When the little boy returned, his father told him that he had given away the candy to his friend. The boy was confused and couldn't react. What could he do? The father has given it away. It wasn't of much use leaving the candy in his room just lying there but being admired for its sugar coated beauty. He knew what the father did was for his best and clearly there was something he had to learn. He blamed no one, not even his friend. But at this time, he just doesn't want to know what happened to that candy. Perhaps it was never meant to be for him, or perhaps its not time for him to have a candy yet. Only the father knows best.

Good Bye

There are many ways to say good bye, throwing a farewell party, having a simple dinner, over the phone or blowing good bye kisses at the air port. The out come is still the same. One minute they're there, the next minute, they're gone.

There are many words to use to say good bye. Diffrent languages, Diffrent Accents, Different moods, but it all bears to say the same thing. That you will not see me for quite a while.

Its hard to say good bye sometimes, but yet having to say good bye means that you had a friend. And it is in those moments that you recall all you've been through with that friend. Good times, bad times, loud times, quiet times, group times, intimate times. Its a sharing of a life that pauses at a good bye. I didn't say END, did I?

There were many good byes in my life that I had to say, some I still see, others been away for a while, few has gone and has yet to return. For a time, and only for a time.
Like the malays always say, Kalau panjang umur, moga jumpa lagi.

Good Bye Sea-Rom~! You've made a difference

Broken Vow

I like these songs by Josh Groban, I feel theres a message behind his songs and I think its subtle enough that sometimes even Christians overlook.

Broken Vow

How Paul illustrates that the church is the bride of Christ is very interestingly portrayed in love songs that are sung. A lover who is unselfish and wants the best of his other half. He was even willing to let her go. Let her be herself and all that she wants to be. But amidts his unselfish love for the other, he calls her back into his arms and in the process is really hurt by such rejections that he is receiving.

To put it in harsher bible words, something like Jeremiah who marries a prostitute, and he discovers the pain that God feels when the children of Isreal forsakes God Almighty. Like a whore who looks for pleasures beyond that of her lover's.

He is calling, are we responding? Or are we like whores who say we belong to Him but our eye is not single? Is it not written, " If thine eye be single, you body will be full of light."? Or are we double standard Christians who proclaim Christ but do not live for Christ?

We must learn to love the pleasures of what our lover can give us. A Godly thirst and a passionate hunger to be with Him in Christ. Till He becomes our ultimate satisfaction.

This should be our response,

My Confession - Coming humbled before the Cross

Remember when it rained - Such is a desire, such is a passion.

Demands

What can a servant demand?
Whom can he authoritatively ask favours from?
Why should he be given a chance even to speak?

For one to make demands, he must be in a position to do so. But what justifies such a position?
Perhaps for a politician = great political influence
for a business man = great wealth and success
for an experienced engineer = a mega scale project portfolio
for a doctor = great number of lives he has saved

But what of a servant? Even the head of servants must listen to orders. If given orders from his Master, would he then be given the power to demand of other servants?

I think in this age of liberalism, we have lost sense of servants and masters. Everyone is a master for himself. Liberated he does all he likes. Pleasures of his own for his own glory forgetting a debt he owes his master.
Now that he has forgotten that he is a servant, he responds in his own greatness to demand of others to accomplish his will, but not the will of his master.

I'm questioning the existance of 2 points of power to demand.
One given authoritatively,
Another by selfish ambitions.

Now what of this leadership? As cheif servant, whose will am I accomplishing?
Mine?
Theirs?
or His?


A great man indeed I am not,
By the heel as I run, I'm caught,
To stop and give this a little thought,
Is there worth at all, the fight we've fought?
Was it for our own glory?
Are our offerings to You worthy?
To me, why have You given such?
Me a rusty dime, I don't worth much.
Am I in a position to demand?
If given authority by Your command?
Is there something I don't see?
Oh Lord, you lead me, you lead me.

Surreal Illusions

Its almost been like a dream to be here. I've been through a lot of tough times and also joyful times, but nonetheless plenty of lifelong experiences to bring with me as I continue this journey.
Come to think of it, it has been almost 6 weeks and there was lots to learn. Learning is indeed a painful experience and at the same time it brings an odd sense of delight when you know that what you've learnt builds character.

Now I'm left with 2 weeks remaining and I've planned out a whole range of activities here to keep my mind, body and soul occupied. Its an adventure, a physical experiential adventure as well as a spiritual exponential adventure. Indeed the tasks at hand seems daunting, but I feel encouraged by the people around me and those far from me. Thank God for close friends.

Would like to stay for some poetry, but time is of the essence.. perhaps another day~!

Inspired, yet limited... God you lead my words

Touch and Go

Yup, I was back in KL but it was certainly a touch and go thing. But I'm glad to make it back to do some important things here before I continue my 4 weeks back in Gua Musang. I've missed out on alot and I guess its time to catch up on somethings and get myself boosted again.

Came back on Thursday night and it was great cuz mom had made me some soup which I craved for nearly 3 weeks now. It was satisfying and I needed nothing else for dinner.
Went to Ps. Kelly's place and I once again found myself in the midts of Christian Fellowship that edifies one another. Certainly it was a good time of praise and worship as well as sharing. I was daring enough to share about my own seekings and my thoughts on Isaiah 6. I think God really spoke to us that night because the songs that were sung and the things Ps. Noah and Ps. Kelly and also my personal sharing with them was in coherence.

Spent some time with my parents that Thursday night and really missed them. Though we were not allowed much time to be together but I just let my heart pour out on the things I will be doing and what God has put in my heart the past 4 days.

Friday was almost a full day near UM area.. went to the faculty in the morning to check my results .. I think it was pretty good... except for 1 paper... may have to re-sit that one.
Found out who my industrial attachement lecturer was and we're supposed to contact her ASAP.. which we've not done yet..
Went out with Christopher and Lydia for lunch then went to the Ikano power centre and then The Curve
Came home about 5.30pm and wanted to sleep a while but received a call about 6.10pm and rushed back to UM in response to that call.. I'm glad I answered that call back to Uni, I think there was much to be settled that day and I really Thank God that we did clear somethings that should have been clarified earlier. I felt a great sense of release and a certain joy over it, but there's still something missing... perhaps it will remain missing.
Having see Sae-rom and her brother Elmo (cute name~!) and some of the other PKVians again was indeed good for me in a sense that, I've been so socially deprived back in Gua Musang, I just wanted to talk my heart away with them.. I had fun that night~!

Saturday was a busy busy day..
Went out with the Beautiful Gates people and took them to the KLCC for the book fair. It was nice having them around and just helping them to get about, but I didnt really get to socialize with them because most of them spoke only mandarin, I felt so deprived of the ability to communicate... A few PKVians and a few of Mei Si's friends from different universities. Only Johnson and I were the guys from PKV... but we had fun.
After that we went into Suria for a while and tried to get them some food before they left, but it was so crowded there so Mei Si packed KFC for them to take with them to bring back to BG

Mei Si, Yee Voon, Mei Han and I went to watch the Da Vinci Code.. missed the show a little bit cuz we were late .. up till now, I've not eaten nor drank anything.. Yee Voon was merciful enough to spare me some fries and water in the show... haha Thanks alot~!
The show was okay, but I think those who read the book would have gotten a better picture of what went on in that show... Screenplay was average, not much of emotions involved.. Storyline, its the book.. quite true to the book but it lacks some description of what went on behind certain scenes... (they had to cut .. it was freaking 2 and a half hour long)
Towards the end of the show, Yee Voon and I were already starting to doze off.. haha not that it was bad, rather it was quite draggy.
I certainly hope the audiences watching that show would be able to differentiate fact from fiction


came back at about 6.30 and was expected to go out again to Amcorp Mall at 7.15 .. so not much breaks in between and we're rushing off again.
Celebrated Yee Voon's birthday with Goon, Tux, Chong Ee, Gin Li, Fanny, Ginny and Leena.
It was wonderful to see them all together again, though we're missing some of us out, but I really missed them all~!
Went to A&W later to have round 2, then CE showed his masterpiece presentation specially done for Yee Voon .. so touching~!

Well, that's all till now.. I'm sitting in front of the computer blogging... its 1.30am now ... will be leaving tomorrow at 6.30 morning .. haha
Better get some sleep before I do that~!

Lack of time...

I was going to post a long blog here, but sadly.. haha I've got no time to blog now lehh.. so many things to type in 2 hrs only ... limited cybercafe time la...

well.. perhaps more time to blog the next time..

PKVians are back and ready to perform.. I hope .. haha

I'm well...

Waking up to the aroma of "Waste PO Sludge"

Okay, this blog was supposed to be a parody to Lydia's blog but I feel it crumble beneath it all~!

There were so many things on my mind to blog about through the 2 weeks but all of a sudden, as I stare at this computer screen in this awfully ventilated cyber cafe, my brains malfunctioned. Further more, its wise to blog first before you check your mails... or other blogs.. or any other things.. Ideas just fade away with the presence of new thoughts~!

Well, first off, PO means Palm Oil .. we call our products CPO here (Crude Palm Oil)
Every morning the routine is such that I will have to collect a sample from the Separator (separates sludge from oil) and do a test... I've gotta bake the Sludge to remove water traces to analyze water content, it smells like rotten cookies~! (well we nicked name it "cookies" already)

Its been laid back here, but in saying so, the phrase "working like a cow/dog" still very well applies .. hehe .. you've gotta toil hard in the day, then its silence at night ... lots of time for yourself.

Ppl here are UNDERPAID~! My sis sits in an office airconditiond for 7 hrs answering phone calls and is paid RM80 a day ... my co workers here gotta work minimum 8 hours and is paid RM 18 basic... some of them work up to 16hrs a day if they are called into overtime~! which happens all the time ... and are paid only at RM3.47 per extra hour~!
well.. I'm not expecting much of a pay.. so its ok for me...


My host (my friends father) was actualy a Christian... we were talking the other night about religions .... It wasn't really much of a discussion, rather a lecture. More it a one sided view on religion.
At first I thought Mr. Michael was a free thinker. He started off with "it doesn't matter what you believe in". He talked alot about his past, he was a Methodist and his grand father was a pastor. Then he talked about his own seekings. He compared many religions and he came to the conclusion that the Quran holds the absolute truth!

This was where the talk got even more interesting. I came to find that he was a rogue Muslim. He believed in the Quran but does not associate himself with other muslims and he is dissapointed with the Muslims today.

I didnt want to say much. Nor was I given a chance to say anything. But I believe that God has opened a door for me to touch a life. It scares me at this point because I'm not even sure what to say.

O'Lord that You will be my guide and guard my heart and mind. That You would lead my lips

One thing he put as a bottomline. To deny the deity of Christ. Because it was written in the Quran. He holds on to its absolutes and is already influenced by it to think from that point.
He said God needs no intercesors.. (as Christ was to him). I've really gotta watch my talk.. perhaps I'll be able to make him think otherwise someday.


I think I'll write what I do best..

Days are early,
and so are the nights,
Waken to natures awesome beauty,
Slumber in Evening's cool delight.
Toil by dawn, surrendred by dusk,
The stench at work, a pure disgust,
Such is the life in a little town,
But with Him around, I do not frown,

Missing the days back in the city,
Where people are always busy, busy, busy.
Dare to say I miss the hustle,
Thinking much about having a waffle.
But now alas, I'm already here,
Maketh me the best of it,
Succumbed to change I was ready to bear,
Learn something new, adjust abit.

In its cloudless gleam,
The moon lit so dim,
No doubt a clear sky,
Is this how the twilights die?
Shattered within in thoughts and desires,
Drown in floods, burnt with fire,
All that's left is an owls night call,
My dear, my dear, do you miss me at all?

My brains are drained, I can write no more,
In the heat of this cybercafe, I can script no further,
Well, most of it was for my heart to pour,
My thoughts, my thoughts, come gather, come gather!


Jesus, my Savior and Lord~! A name beyond names, I will never deny~!
Dear Lord, My love for you a new~!

8 Weeks

This is it~!

Gua Musang, here I come~!

8 weeks seems to be a long time. So many things are yet uncertain about where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.. Guess there's nothing more but to go there and let God lead me.

One of the biggest thing for me about going there is not because of the Training, but its more spiritual. I'm going there expecting something from God, perhaps in its silence and serenity, I'll find my self truely escaped from the "systems" that govern society in the big cities. Without such a hold on me, perhaps... just hopefully perhaps, I may truely discover my identity in Him.
Lord I'm looking for a new revelation of You~!

---

Separate ways,

For alot of my friends, PKVians or Ex-Classmates, we'll be away for this whole semester break.. I miss my ex-class mates cuz this is about the only time in the year that we can really get together before another year begins.. for the PKVians, I'm so used to seeing them all the time, not seeing them is... different.

I'm blessed, for today I was able to see someone go. I wasn't much of a Good Bye, no long Sayo-naras or lenghty waves.. but to see her off was to me a reminder of the things which are ahead of me and that each of us also has our own responsibilities.That's reality I guess... Though, I know I'll miss her much.

---

Last Words

This may be my last blog entry before I leave for the 8 weeks. May not be able to continue to blog like this once I'm there. Not sure If there'd be any convenient access to the internet.

May God be with all of us and may this Holidays/Training/Coursework/Special Semester... be a fruitful one~! Commit it to the Lord, have Him in your thoughts daily~!
Seek and Ye shall find~!

Chef-mastery

This old fasion rice cooker was a gift from my grand mother for my parents wedding. It has served us, fed me to who I am today. Without which I would not have tasted life as it is been and will be for me.
I can't say thank you to a pot, but I'm thankful for the riches of His providance and for those who took care of me thus far (my parents).

It is also partialy it's (the green thing up there) fault that because of "it", many of my friends know me as a "rice basket" a.k.a "Fan Thung" (cina speaking)
I love rice.. I cant go a day without eating rice.. not satisfied till I get enough of it before the day ends.. its heaven to have nasi lemak every morning for breakfast .. (I actualy dont mind)


Got to really learn how to cook these days...
Going to Gua Musang without such a skill is a handicap
Gotta befriend some of the locals there and ask them to teach me their traditional ways of cooking ... I'm sure they make really nice food there...

I was in Borders today with Amy and Macy ... stumbbled upon a few cook books... one by Anthony Bourdain.. then it dawned on me.. "Hey, dont leave the kitchen to the Girls~!"
Gotta survive there also and if I and Tux dont learn to really cook.. we're not gonna eat Nasi Kandar for 8 weeks straight (though rice larr.. but every meal .. a bit too much liow lor)

I tried cooking today... wont tell what I cooked... cheated a lil la.. Dad helped wan... my great teacher now...

Realized cooking is much like chemistry, know your ingredients, know what you want to "synthesize", follow procedure, a hint of spicy creativity .. some minor "data" adjustments ..(haha), control temperature, observe timing, at the end of it all settle it all down and make it look beautiful...

That's what I call cooking-chemistry..

It is finished

Bloggy bloggy~! .. how have you been?
For long I've ignored your little window,
So much I've touched and seen,
My little brain my biggest memory theft,
Tonight I'll word what's left,
Only as fragment historical shadows.

It all started with Organic Chem 2,
then came Maths Asas next in que,
Industrial Chemistry followed suit,
Gave me a few days break but still enroute,
Then Analytical Chemistry came to haunt,
That wasnt the end of the daunt~!
Polymer took the Best of me today~!
(Actualy cuz I only gave 1 and half day to study lar)
Right now I can finaly shout "HooRay~!!!"

Actualy this blog wasnt made to rhyme,
but words came from time to time,
know not when, know not why?
Perhaps its just a hearts cry?

Though my mind feels liberated,
My heart and soul remains captivated.
Prisoner of my own words,
Yet a prisoner gladly be.


Hmm but going to Gua Musang soon already, kinda feel uneasy about the whole thing, being away for so long and all that~! I'll certainly miss the ppl here.
Seems like there is so much to prepare but unsure of what to bring.
So many things would be left here to be done but I wont be around, PKV activities still in mind.
What to expect? Who is my lecturer taking care of me? What must be done before I go?
Registration also not open for me yet??


----

Checked out from college today~!
No longer staying in 4th liow~!
Its the end of my college life~!
Now there's a problem~!
Where am I going to stay~?!
(At this point... some ppl will say that I deserved it... "ha.. didnt find earlier lor..")


----

Ivy~! Are you coming back??~!!!
Missed you so much lerr~!
Hope to see you on Zacky's Birthday...
What are you gonna get ur lil bro?


----

Aitez~! this concludes the journey of year 2,
Lots of Red, Greens and Blue,
Many a test, plenty of trails,
Walked for miles and miles,
New faces came and gone,
Perhaps we'll meet later on,
Learning a new lesson,
To being a better person,
Perhaps to love as well,
or in love, dwell?
Leadership in humility?
May You always humble me.
Laugh and Play,
Fast and Pray,
In gratefulness, Thank You!
Without You dear Father, I know not how to pull through~!

Fruitful Week

I think when they say "Man perform better under pressure", there is alot of truth in that statement.

This week has certainly been one of the longest week in this semester. Thought its just Thursday now.. it felt like its been a well over a week since I came back from church on Sunday.
I had so many datelines piling this week and there were so many things left undone. Assignments were done till the wee hours of the morning

Sunday night had to go to UM at night for a Group Discussion for my Spoken English for Professional course .. before that it was good that I visited Jeff first at the hospital.

There was a test on Monday so had to study (Dont ask me for the results)

Then the completion of the Flory temperature due Tuesday.. I've learnt alot from that

Had Tuesday to do Agenda for committee meeting also, apologize for the delay (should be prepared well over a week in advanced, n Thanks Cheffy for sending it out for me.. no internet access in college)

Wednesday was lab reports day. I cant believe I actualy wrote 4 reports in a day~! Altogether was 7 reports to had up. On Wed night after Committee Meeting, had to finish up my tutorial for Polymer

Thursday morning had to do another Tutorial for Polymer (Different Lecturer), preparing for the discussion and the discussion was done .. I would say.. it was quite ok lar...

Today~!... I had a break with Razif at the Science Fac Cafe cuz class was canceled .. was thinking that someone else would accompany me .. but.. wasnt free..

Had dinner with Mom and Dad.. KL was really really Jammed.. took them almost 2 hours in the car to get to me.

Went out for a mid-night drive with Ikmal.. sending his sister to IJN .. he just needed a company... its nice to catch up with friends.

Tomorrow morning I'll be in MVEC promoting MAA insurance with MeL*, Macy and Steph .. one more friend I think... 11am till 8pm


Well this weekend, I foresee myself studying Organic at the same time struggle to finish my ISE assignment .. which I've not touched yet.

I personaly think I've achieved more that my whole semester put together in a weel. The next few weeks will be that way.. pushing myself to study.. I really need to now.


Lord, I give thanks to you,
For this semester you have been true,
Never giving me more than I could chew,
You lift me up whenever I felt blue.

Endings usualy come bitter sweet,
Through this sem, it came bit by bit,
At times, thrown into ecstacy,
A jolt of pain, plunges into agony.

But through it all You were there,
One so sure, You always care,
Such beauty and so much Love,
Such passion that comes from above!
Such is the way, teach me dear Lord,
To love like you did, Unconditional, without a cord.

7 Viruses, 6 Birthdays, 1 marriage proposal and an accident

Its been a wild wild week~!
Yesterday night couldnt get enough sleep
But today bright as can be
My eyes are clear, but still quite lazy.

UM computers are infected with Brontox Virus.
So far I've come to know 7 ppl who were already infected. Me, Tux, Victor, Clara, Keat Leong, and 2 juniors in college.
So everyone using the computers in UM.. Beware~!
It seems that they lurk into your computer via thumbdrive.. and if you are not careful what you open in your thumbdrive you'll get it. Its best you have AVG to protect your PC from it because to date, the other Mega Antivirus companies (McAfee, PCcillin, Norton, Sophos) cant trace this virus.
Use AVG to scan for the virus in your Thumbdrive

6 Birthdays this week and I've celebrated 4 of them...
Happy Birthday again to:

Christopher Choong (Bra-Boy)
Adelene Joyce Williams
Macy, Law Mei Si
Hosanna Chung
Lee Mun Yee
Fui Yen (Singapore)

Its always great to have friends to celebrate with you on your Birthday~!


Fui Yen got more that she asked for this years Birthday...
Melvin finaly proposed to Fui Yen in marriage .. (haha received news from Ivy)

There were candles, violin player and a lovely night sky... so romantic ..(but got a gang of girls there also lar who felt awkward after they surprised her)

Gotta ask Ivy to tell u this tale cuz I'm a second degree witness .. haha


It was terrifying to receive news that my senior had met with an accident.

It was a tuesday afternoon that I heard from Tuxoon that Jeffrey was hit by a car.
I wasnt sure yet what had happened so I was trying to get some info from Erica. They were there visiting him. On that day itself, Jeff underwent surgery.. they had to screw his fractured bones together again.. (when I heard this I knew how serious this was)

I've already spoken to Jeff and as always, I still find him very positive about the circumstances
He told me his heroic tale on the phone.. haha (ok.. the heroic part was added by me.. he humbly denied it)
His pregnant colleague was crossing the street when suddnely she fell.. Jeff saw her falling and wanted to turn back and help her... when he walked onto the street, a Cefiro came and crashed into him, threw him from the first lane to the 3rd lane ... next thing he knew, he was in a hospital.
It wasnt much of a display of the act of heroism .. but the heroic heart that this man has that made that difference. I salute him for that~!


I'd best be leaving now.. gotta go to the dentist today.. got a chipped tooth that I gotta repair .. :P
Dont get funny Ideas and ask me to show it to you.. haha

Man's Best Friend

Three months ago, a stranger came and took shelter at my home. He was shivering, hungry and tired. Lost and alone with no where to go because the place he called home was destroyed by yellow giants that breathed dark smoke through their noses.
Now, he is no stranger anymore, but a friend. But it is today that it was his last day being with us, for today he was taken away.

I will tell you a tale of a creature that changed our perception on how we look at things. A gentleman, loyal friend and a survivor of odds. His (or rather "its") name is Buddy.

Late last year, Buddy came and sought refuge at my house porch from the December rain. At the back of the hill that I'm staying near, there were lots of new development going on and I think that must have caused it to move out to seek refuge among us humans. We we're curious why this dog never left after the rain. We decided to leave it alone and perhaps it will leave later.
The next morning, we saw this lean golden brown dog still sleeping under the hood of the car, perhaps he finds it warm under the engine. Again we left it alone and thought it would leave.

Days go by and still this dog refused to take its leave and continued to sleep at the same spot. Whenever we walked out of the door, it would be alerted and will make way for us to walk past him so as to not obstruct our coming and going. (Such gentleman -- or rather gentledog)

Christmas came and Ivy came back from Singapore and learnt of this dog that was staying outside our porch. It never bothered us so we didnt think of forcing it to leave.. but mom actualy didnt like pets. Ivy started to call it "Buddy", after that we all also started to address him as "Buddy". So that was how "Doggy" got its name "Buddy"

As days went by, it became much closer to family. I wasnt around much as I was in UM during the weekdays, but it seems that he recognises me. Dad began feeding it, mom didnt wasnt really bothered about the dog because he always avoided us so as not to obstruct our activities. When mom goes out to dry the clothes, he will move aside and watch her hang up the wet clothes in the sun. He would also walk beside us when we go down the street just as close company.

There were many nights especialy in February, I would just sit out in the moonlight in the wee hours of the morning when everyone's asleep but he was there. I began to move closer to him and he would let me pet his head. I've been in really close proximity and he would actualy move closer. A true friend even in the late hours.

I would begin to whisper my prayers to God and he would sit by me to listen. I dont know if he understands anything at all (well I doubt it anyway) but his presence being so close makes me feel that there is a friend close by. At times like these I would gaze into its eyes and wonder, if there is a soul in such a creature. Meek and Loyal, a true friend who sits quietly beside you and listens to what you say.

I wonder do "All dogs go to heaven"??

Late February, Buddy got involved in an accident. He was hit by a truck while it was resting in the middle of the street. His fore-right limb was crushed and he could not walk properly after that. Thankfully he was spared of his life, but we got a little worried because his wounds were open and there was no way that we could assist him because we were afraid to go near him. I've tried to draw closer to him after that but he would evade me. Perhaps he thought that it would trouble us more to care for him. So for the rest of the days Buddy grew thinner because it couldnt move much and spent most of the time resting behind our cars.

Today, a day to be remembered. It was the day we last see Buddy. The dog catchers came and took him away. Just when Buddy was getting better, just when he was almost fully recovered from his open wounds (though he may never walk again). Although handicapped, Buddy did put up a great struggle from 5 men who poised to capture him ... dead or alive. It was a struggle between life and death, decides if he would continue to live here or die tonight.

There is so much more I want to talk about Buddy.
He's changed my way of looking at animals
He's changed my mothers affections towards pets/pests
He's drawn out a deep sense of care for animals from my dad
He's became my lil brother's "first pet"

Good friend, I will surely miss you~!

-in rememberance of Buddy-
24th March 2006

Moving on

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,Phillipians 3:13 (ASV)

There are things in life that you cannot hold back in memories for too long without letting go and moving on. There comes a time where a decision has to be made to make progress,

Your regrets, your remorse. Give them to Me, because you cannot live with them.

All seems like foolishness, but may it pass, may it pass

Sharp Words

Words uttered can never be taken back
Words that cut opens new wounds
Like a man shredding a feather pillow and trying to pickup the feathers again in the streets
I'm sorry I had to say those things
I'm sorry you had to hear them from me

Does Transparency Pay?

Lord, u lead and u reign

Gua Musang

That's where I'll be going soon~! (with Soon) .. haha sorry for the pun

I've just got off an interview with Mr Micheal .. or uncle Mike .. nice man he is, got lots to share about his past experiences. I think from what he says, in taking us, he will expect much out of us because this is a infant growing organization.. so lots of research and self-understanding is much needed to improve efficacy of plant operation. I think there will be a few traits that we may have to learn at first but I think when we get the hang of it, we will have to start off with the real reasons we are placed there... to do research

It looks like a long way from home, but I guess its time to step out of the comfort zones! Life is going to be harder there, perhaps it will push me from where I am now further to be able to withstand the pressures of the working world in future... I realized I can't be stuck in academics all my life... I think that's where most students fear most.. transition from student to a full working adult~!

I'm comforted much knowing that my God is with me all the way and that he has provided for me so as to take up such a challenge. I'm ready for it... perhaps the few weeks of isolation from modernity would help me lear a thing or two .. and maybe with the less distractions I may get to know Him more and more~!

I know I'll certainly miss all my friends for those long weeks, surely we would be dying to meet one another after the long semesters and now the holidays ... I guess this year I may not see some of them back in KL~! *Sigh*

I've made a decision, I'm sticking with it.. so don't ask me again "why Kelantan?". Its a challenge I want to take up, and its a challenge I'll get~!

"God be with me!" --- oh yeah .. it was good that it rained here today too~! Thank God~!

Heavenly Beauty

As I gaze into the cloudless sky,
Countless stars, way up high,
The crescent moon, smiling west,
A joyful night, a glee celest.
Such was the clarity,
in a wide spaced beauty,
yet such was also the darkness,
not being able to see beyond us.

Much like what's deep inside,
Sitting between a great divide,
Beyond that beauty, is there no vision,
No focus, no goal, just driven by passion,
Fear is birthed by her mother, Uncertainty,
What lies beyond that beauty?
What waits for me?
In the deep darkness, I cannot see,
Until I'm there, will I also find beauty?
Perhaps beauty in another way,
But for now I'll live from day-to-day.

Freedom

Its a thousand words

Coded Language

Can one learn to truely understand another?
Can one know exactly what the other person is saying?
Can one read a person's body language and tell what the other is hinting?
Can one see between the lines of what the other is really writting about?
Can one understand why was something said or written by another?
Can one feel how the other person feels in all of his/her expressions?
Can one learn to truely understand another?

I've come to a point where I find myself unable to really listen.

Are you telling me something?
Are you trying to prove a point?
Are you educating me?
Or are you just testing me?


Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. - Pearl Buck -

Questionable Quotes

Kids

When I say Kids, I don't mean young goats. Rather the implications of young humans taking on the character of little goats~! (So bad a caretaker)
Its all about the way you talk to them sometimes. Gotta be firm ut not too pushy, I'm trying to strike a balance here now..

Yes, I'm stuck with 3 kids for 3 days cuz my parents went to Bangkok with my neighbours on a weekend holiday. So its my turn to be the "babysitter" for the few days (which I gladly agreed at first, I think they well deserve this break).

I was back in time before they got home from school, so 1 point for me! (YaY!)

Took them out to McDonalds for lunch (their request .. so thought I'd make a good impression)

Let them watch TV and play a little bit while I did my work in the evening.

Had to rush out to buy groceries cuz I found out the cupboards were empty (I promised them pasta tonight)

Made "nice" pasta for them, so another point for me ( though they didn't finish em all up)

Pushed them so hard to get them to be ready for tuition. (They were PLANNING to be late!!!)

Got them just in time for tuition, so another point for me (Yippie! Getting good at this)

Had some personal time while they were away.. and watched a super clear DVD of Oliver Twist (Good Show, I liked the emotions and the psychology of it)

Picked them up from tuition perfect timing (though it disrupted my show... half a point maybe?)

Tried to push them to wash up and go to bed, this was tough. Had to really know how to talk to them properly.

Went out with my friends while they were watching TV about 11pm (Bad babysitter, lepaking -- minus 1 point)

Came back aout 12.30 to find them still glued to the Dumb-Black-Box (TV) Bad Bad babysitter -- minus the half point!!

Finally they're asleep (about 12.45am)

Well lots to do again tomorrow, gonna have to feed them, wash clothes, send them to tuitions, bring them out for some fun, and clean up after them...
Busy busy day.. but not with my own work.. haha

I think I'm just not ready yet for parenting.
(I'm amazed how MeL* keeps that balance)

Silent as it is

The fall of a petal,
A chilling cold breeze,
So swift yet gentle,
Silent as it is

The sun’s bright awakening,
Time and again from the east,
The glow of a tranquil evening,
Silent as it is.

Whisper, whisper,
In the thick pale mist,
No one hears her,
Silent as it is.

Broken, shaken,
Her silence stolen,
Unnoticeably abrupt,
Discreetly interrupt,
The earth starts shifting,
The tides start rolling,
The sea turns rough,
Shorelines engulfed,
Mayhem, Destruction,
Misery, Devastation.

Be Quiet, Be Still,
Once again all at peace,
May they then gradually heal,
Silent as it is.

A poem I've written over a year ago, just wanted it to be in my blog again in reflection of the Tsunami 2004

Conversations in my head

Circumstances ground begins tough to swallow,
For what more ahead even harder to follow,
I fear what lies within is really hollow,
And not knowing what will become of tomorrow.
Where lie thee in my need?
Why do you leave me bleed?
Fear birthed amidts uncertainty,
Drives me to the the brim of sanity.

Can you not Follow??

What drownth ye in all thy sorrow?
Wherst from this spirit ye borrow?
Have thou not seen I have cleansed thy feet?
Do the same, May this act repeat.
Fore bareht ye the task ahead,
Set off the journey, I'll make it straight
Toil ye must in the heat of noon day,
But come the evening, gather to pray.

I have you in certainty!
Come follow me!

Sorry

Sometimes sorry isn't enough
Sorry has to come with repentance
Sorry has to seal that action from repetition
Sorry has to have a heart felt grieve
Sorry is but a step in the remission of guilt

I come O Lord thankful of your Grace,
In guilt O God I've hidden from your face,
Ensure me Lord once again,
My heart, my mind in tarnish taint,
Lift me up so I may not faint,
I'll walk with you, in your Grace remain.


"Its hard to say I'm sorry" - Chicago

Relativism

Compass of extremes,

Ps. Sivin Kit just gave us a short exposition about "Relativism ... and beyond".
I have learnt a great deal about Relativism these 2 weeks and about how people think based upon their precepts and fore-knowledge. I'm beginning to see how many people look at things influenced by their cultural, religious and education backgrounds, and the funny thing is, they dont even know it~!

What mattered to me wasn't about either being a Relativist or an Absolutist. It was about seeing Christ beyond what these 2 terms meant. For me no compass of extremes can envelop the nature of God. A compass of extremes is infact a limited measure.
Can there be infinite absolutes?
Can there be infinite relativism?
Like how Ps Sivin Kit put it, if a man says that he holds ONLY to relativism, does he already not express the absolute element when he says ONLY? Certainly a direct contradiction. So then can we say that being absolute is the way every man should hold on to? The person will also holds himself back and say, "Depending on the circumstances". (a common safety net)
But for us Christians, its BEYOND all that.

Something I couldn't really agree with Ps. Sivin was that, he said that the Church points to the truth. I would say to an extent that this is true, provided the Church as it is today are in some kind of unification of understanding of truth.

-- To be Continued --

12th Feb 2006

Thanks Ps Sivin on that comment and for that HUGE angpow~! (Didn't really get to read the whole thing)

True Truth (if I may use such a term) is Absolute! God is Absolute! Does the church know True Truth? It just bothers me sometimes to see inconsistancy among the churches today. Perhaps this inconsistency has already begun even in the days of the apostles. It was eveident that in Paul's days, the churches in Corinth and Ephasus were having problems of their own adopting the Christian doctrine in their multifaceted cultural background.

Today, Christians also have different stands of alcoholism and gay rights. What does the True Truth really say about it?

Now back to something I can agree with Ps Sivin is that, he mentioned that the Church does not claim to have the Truth, merely a signpost to indicate the location of the truth. While he was sharing this, a picture came to me. I wish to draw it out here, maybe in another post.

This was how it is to be explained.

At the top was the Church, out of the Church was pointing to many-many directions, but there was one arrow that points down somewhere. This arrow was unique, it can't be moved, it cant be changed, it seems almost like the anchorage of the Church. No matter where the Church moves, the arrow points it down.

Gradualy the Church is drawn towards the direction of where the arrow is pointing. As it moves closer, all the other arrows that point outwards seem to just fade away .. or combines itself with the arrow pointing downwards, they didnt matter anymore.
One day the Church of Jesus Christ will, by His grace, be brought to the knowledge of True Truth and all that is around that seems to matter so much at this point of time will make no sense when we are there.

Well, as long as a Church fully understands their existance here on earth and puts God as a point of referance, I would call it a reliable sign post.